Tuesday tidbits....and How to boil a Leg Fresh Ham.

I think these two very short video's will answer the question, "Why Do Men Die Younger?"




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A plane crashed in the middle of rural Iowa...

Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the
farm in force. When they got there, the disaster was clear. The aircraft
was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone.

They spotted a lone farmer plowing a field not too far away as if
nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see
this terrible accident happen?".

"Yep. Sure did." the farmer mumbled unconcernedly, cutting off the
tractor's engine.

"Do you realize that is the airplane of the President of the United
States?"

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?"

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done
buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning.."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff shouted.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. "He kept
a-saying he wasn't ... But you know how bad that sumbitch lies."

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Time now fer some Tommy Cox, "A Big Black Submarine."


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Cookie just loves pull'n great pranks on folks and I'd love to have pulled this one!!!



Gotta THANK my old friend Bob Walker fer that one.
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Boiled Fresh Ham

The other day, me good Irish lass of a wife was at the store getting a 12 pound Leg Fresh Ham. As the butcher was giving it to her, several folks around her asked her "How do you cook that?" She told them that you SIMPLY boil it with some spices!

As it turned out, all the nearby folks that were listening had never heard of "Boiling a Leg Fresh Ham." So, if'n you've never had Boiled Fresh Ham, here's how t'do it, and yur in fer a treat!

1 Leg Fresh Whole Ham or 10- to 12-pound half ham.
IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE A SMOKED HAM OR GLAZED HAM!
A Fresh Ham is simply a very large leg pork roast.

2 teaspoons of salt, or to taste (optional)

4 Tablespoons Chopped fresh Garlic, or to your taste.

1  Tablespoon Allspice, or to your taste.

5-7 Whole cloves, or to your taste.

Water to cover

You’ll need a large pot, because the ham should be covered with water at all times.

Place the ham on a rack in the pot, cover with water. Add the above spices to your taste' cover pot and place on high heat.

Bring water to a full boil. Let boil rapidly about 10 minutes, then reduce heat to a simmer and cook about 25 minutes a pound for a 12-pound ham, or about 4 or 5 hours until a meat thermometer reads the internal temperature is about 160 degrees F.

Remove pot from heat and leave the ham to cool in the cooking water.

Lift ham from cooking water, wipe dry. Remove and discard all the excess fat (and there will be plenty). Carve slices and serve for the main meal, or for sandwiches. Serve with mashed p'taters smuthered in butter, or Garlic Rice, and some Apple Sauce.

ENJOY!
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COMMENTS:

...and that old Gyrene, "You Know Who" said regarding the changes in my Header; "Sarcastic old fart, ain't yah? I'm surprised your Mrs. only boiled your leg...."

A "Special" posting. If'n y'all ever get the chance.....USS Arizona Memorial.

But first, my wife, the "submariner"...

A few years back my wife and I were fortunate enough to have taken a cruise to Hawaii and while there, we took a dive on the "Atlantis" Submarine. Elaine was a bit apprehensive as first off she doesn't swim and secondly, SHE WAS UNDER THE OCEAN!! It's really quite an interesting tour. We cruised at approximately 127 feet below the surface so it's a very REAL submarine experience. I understand they also have these submarines in the Caribbean as well so if'n y'all ever get a chance, take the dive, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.



One of the main reasons I wanted, needed, to go to Pearl Harbor was to see and visit the USS Arizona Memorial. It's a very moving and somber experience, especially fer an old sailor. Of note, is that on the day we were at the Memorial, there were also many older Japanese men and their wives, many were crying. Judging from their ages and their somewhat intense grieving, I suspect they may possibly have had something to do with that date which will live in Infamy, December 7, 1941.

The Memorial is in fact the final resting place of 1177 Sailors and Marines that served aboard her, and out of respect there is virtual silence throughout the Memeorial.

She still bleeds her oil to this day.....

These two short videos are self explanatory.





Now Sir, if'n yur more of an adventurous type, take a "doors off" Helicopter flight over an active volcano, Kilauea. You can really feel the heat from the volcano.


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COMMENTS:

"Vigilis" said; "In its infinite wisdom, the Navy sent me to Pearl for training that had been delayed one week.
This was AFTER I submitted a 60-day "early out" for additional college. The school command approved a one-week vacation (disapproved by my boat, they had said, but I doubted so). I got to Ford Island and the Arizona Memorial- fantastic!
To make the vacation even better, I flew my wife over to Hawaii for a belated honeymoon. The Navy would not approve our marriage for many months (I have the chits to prove it). 35 years later I would be told why: mission criticality. That is all I am at liberty to say to this day.

GO NAVY!"

COOKIE said; Vigilis, if you don't mind, what years were you in? I might be able to figure our the nature and criticality of that mission, location and time. I maintained quite a few contacts after I left the service, many of them Officers like yourself and heard a great many things that I still haven't spoken of to this day. In fact, my post about the near catastrophe at West Milton was the first time I'd spoken about that since 1965.

Sunday sundries...

Breaking News:

Beginning in early 2011 gas stations will start
showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps so that
you can watch someone else get screwed at the same time
that you are !!!

Have A GREAT Day
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Some financial planning.....

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "But in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million".

"Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
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Gotta Thank Patrick fer this one.....

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says,
"Martini."

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to
the man, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says,” 168."

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space
exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but
he is curious...So he goes back into the bar.

The robot bartender
says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says,
"What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "100."

The robot then
starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and Farmall Tractors .


The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will
try it one more time.

He goes back into the bar.

The
robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini," and the
robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, "What's
your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans
in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"

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Saturday Tunes.... As me wife frum Brooklyn would say, "Hoimans Hoimets". Vote fer "Quigley"!

Well Sir, it seems me old "Gyrene" buddy "The Chief" has entered his rather ugly, but very loveable dog, "Quigley Irwin Wigley" in a local TV station contest fer "TOP DOG" and he would like for all of us who care to do so to go to the link I've provided and VOTE FER QUIGLEY.

http://www.wciu.com/udog.php?section=vote&assetID=10005271
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COMMENTS:

"The Chief" said; "On behalf of Quigley, I thank you, mate. If we ever get together and get to play "BATTLESHIP", I promise to let you win."

Friday...

For a great many years I was under the mistaken impression that the University of Texas "Longhorn" logo was inspired by the Texas Longhorn breed of cattle. Silly me.

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INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.' 'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this? ' The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.'

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,

'Which service, the 9:00 or the 11:00?'
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Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.

The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday."

On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? "

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?"

"Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison...........