The Cook Shack--Gab & Grub

NEW BLOG!!!!

2011-10-21T14:07:00.000-04:00

Due to many problems with "Blogger" and this particular blog, I have a NEW BLOG called "Cookie's Place--Chuck & Chat". The URL is

thecookiesplace.blogspot.com/

Hope t'see y'all there!!

Here's an OBG fer ya.

2011-04-27T16:53:00.002-04:00

How many of y'all recall this oldie?

Lets kick the week off with some real SWING!!

2011-04-11T12:20:00.002-04:00

First, the Original by Benny Goodman.

Now, "Swing Girls".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7N6slVrQeY

Thank ya Richard!

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Yupper Chucky, we're definitely "Extremists".

2011-04-10T20:17:00.005-04:00

Our illustrious left wing, very pro-abortion, Ass-Hat Senator Chuck Shumer from New York has repeatedly labeled we Tea Party folks as "Extremists" and "dangerous". Well, if this is being an "Extremist", I'm GUILTY AS CHARGED CHUCKY!!

I've written Chucky several times over the years regarding Abortion and his responce is always the exact same form letter stating how he is against abortion, but FOR womens rights....Righhhht!
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Like many, I've continued to have doubts, and so does "The Donald"!

2011-04-09T12:40:00.005-04:00

As many of Y'all know, I'm a retired Police Detective Sergeant, and as such, in all my investigations I had to be as objective and neutral as possible and let the evidence take me where-ever it would, whether I liked what I was discovering or not.

Always begin with the basic FACTS of a case, provable and true items that need NOT necessarily be proven in court, something known in the court system as "Res Gestae". For instance, a basic statement known to be true is "The sun will rise in the morning." We all know the sun will always rise. Another example, "The ocean is composed of salt water." These are facts and need not to be proven to the court or jury.

However, if I were to question Mr. Obama ( notice I did not extend his title of President to him) in an investigation and needed to ascertain his actual time and place of birth, he would be required to produce these facts to satisfy my query. Now Sir, it is obvious Mr. Obama is alive and here (Res Gestae) because I can see, hear and feel him. I do not need to prove his existence. What is NOT evident is where, when and to whom were you born Mr. Obama. I need some form of official documentation and confirmation of those aspects before I can proceed in laying the basic legal foundation.

So, before I can continue with the investigation, I need to begin with this basic piece of information. Mr. Obama, if you have one, just show us the got-damned Birth Certificate and put this matter to rest!

Initially, I was objective and neutral and gave you the benefit of the doubt, but at this point in time, I sincerely do not believe you were born in these United States and are in fact a fraud ! A belief now shared by many.

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Overwhelm The System!
By Wayne Allyn Root.

"Unless voters respond in large numbers to this outrage the next elections may already be lost to the voter pool of those depending on tax monay and a pool that has already expanded expotentially!! He who was clever enough to get their vote the first time may have already won the next elections!"

"OBAMA'S COLLEGE ROOMMATE SPEAKS OUT
By Wayne Allyn Root , June 6th, 2010

Barack Hussien Obama is no fool. He is not incompetent. To the contrary, he is brilliant. He knows exactly what he's doing.

He is purposely overwhelming the U.S. economy to create systemic failure,
economic crisis and social chaos -- thereby destroying capitalism and
our country from within.

Barack Hussien Obama was my college classmate
(Columbia University, class of '83).

He is a devout Muslim do not be fooled.

Look at his Czars...anti-business..anti- american.
As Glenn Beck correctly predicted from day one, Barack Hussien Obama is
following the plan of Cloward & Piven, two professors at Columbia University. They outlined a plan to socialize America by overwhelming the system with government spending and entitlement demands.

Add up the clues below. Taken individually they're alarming.

Taken as a whole, it is a brilliant, Machiavellian game plan to turn the United States into a socialist/Marxist state with a permanent majority
that desperately needs government for survival ... and can be counted
on to always vote for bigger government.

Why not? They have no responsibility to pay for it. Universal health care . The health care bill had very little to do with health care. It had everything to do with unionizing millions of hospital and health care workers, as well as adding 15,000 to 20,000 new IRS agents (who will join government employee unions).

Obama doesn't care that giving free health care to 30 million Americans
will add trillions to the national debt.

What he does care about is that it cements the dependence of those 30 million voters to Democrats and big government. Who but a socialist revolutionary would pass this reckless spending bill in the middle of a depression?

Cap and trade. Like health care legislation having nothing to do with
health care, cap and trade has nothing to do with global warming.

It has everything to do with redistribution of income, government control
of the economy and a criminal payoff to Obama's biggest contributors.
Those powerful and wealthy unions and contributors (like GE, which owns
NBC, MSNBC and CNBC) can then be counted on to support everything Obama wants.

They will kick-back hundreds of millions of dollars in contributions to

Obama and the Democratic Party to keep them in power. The bonus is that all the new taxes on Americans with bigger cars, bigger homes and businesses helps Obama "spread the wealth around."

Make Puerto Rico a state. Why? Who's asking for a 51st state?
Who's asking for millions of new welfare recipients and government
entitlement addicts in the middle of a depression?

Certainly not American taxpayers. But this has been Barack Hussien Obama's plan all along.

His goal is to add two new Democrat senators, five Democrat congressman and a million loyal Democratic voters who are dependent on big government.

Legalize 12 million illegal Mexican immigrants. Just giving these 12 million potential new citizens free health care alone could overwhelm the system and bankrupt America.

But it adds 12 million reliable new Democrat voters who can be counted
on to support big government. Add another few trillion dollars in welfare, aid to dependent children, food stamps, free medical, education, tax credits for the poor, and eventually Social Security .

Stimulus and bailouts. Where did all that money go?

It went to Democrat contributors, organizations (ACORN), and unions -- including billions of dollars to save or create jobs of government employees across the country.

It went to save GM and Chrysler so that their employees could
keep paying union dues.

It went to AIG so that Goldman Sachs could be bailed out (after giving Obama almost $1 million in contributions).

A staggering $125 billion went to teachers (thereby protecting their union dues).

All those public employees will vote loyally Democrat to protect their
bloated salaries and pensions that are bankrupting America.

The country goes broke, future generations face a bleak future, but Obama, the Democrat Party, government, and the unions grow more powerful.

The ends justify the means.

Raise taxes on small business owners, high-income earners, and job
creators. Put the entire burden on only the top 20 percent of taxpayers,
redistribute the income, punish success, and reward those who did
nothing to deserve it (except vote for Obama).

Reagan wanted to dramatically cut taxes in order to starve the government. Barack Obama wants to dramatically raise taxes to starve his political opposition. With the acts outlined above, Barack Hussien Obama and his regime have created a vast and rapidly expanding constituency of voters dependent on big government; a vast privileged class of public employees who work for big government; and a government dedicated to destroying capitalism and installing themselves as socialist rulers by overwhelming the system.

Add it up and you've got the perfect Marxist scheme -- all devised by
my Columbia University college classmate Barack Hussien Obama using the Cloward and Piven Plan ."

To understand Mr. Wayne Allyn Root's background and his credentials as per "Snopes" and "Truth or Fiction", go to these links;

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/overwhelm.asp

and "Truth or Fiction" http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/r/Root-obama-brilliant.htm,

the above letter has been factually attributed to Mr. Wayne Allyn Root, who was NOT physically Obama's roommate at Columbia University but a 1983 classmate, the term roommate being used metaphorically.

This article was forwarded to me by my good friend Patrick.
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COMMENTS:

"VIGILIS" said; "Anyone who needs to know whether or not Obama wants to declare himself a Muslim need only vote for him again in 2012 when he would no longer need sto hide it."

"The Chief" said; "Maybe "The Donald's" investigation will show that he was never born at all. He may be the result of some alien's anal probe!"

COOKIE said; Chief, you may actually be on to something there matey. Being the big POS that he is you just may have hit the nail on the head!!

"Dapper Dan" said; "read about most of these things on Obama's agenda separately, in different reports, posts, etc. But to see them all together like this is truly frightening. Let's work hard to vote him out of office in 2012. Then, as Vigilis says, it won't matter where he was born, or if his birth, as Chief suggests, was the result of some anal probe. IMHO, symbolically, he's the bastard offspring of Marx and Mao and the Ayatollah."

Friday. If'n yur a Dog lover.....

2011-04-08T09:44:00.002-04:00

VOTE FER QUIGLEY!!

Vote fer Quigley at:

http://www.wciu.com/udog.php?section=vote&assetID=10005271
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COMMENTS:
"Quigley Irwin Wigley" said; "Cookie, I am definitely a "Dog Lover". And you're an old sea dog I just find irresistable! Maybe it's because you usually smell like fresh-cooked vittles?"

COOKIE said; Quigley mate, I really appreciate the nice sentiment but I think you need to take a spell'n lesson or two frum that old curmudgeon you call yur master. "Vittles" is spelt VICTUALS, and look up "irrestible" my friend.

Tuesday tidbits....and How to boil a Leg Fresh Ham.

2011-04-05T08:35:00.003-04:00

I think these two very short video's will answer the question, "Why Do Men Die Younger?"

______________________________

A plane crashed in the middle of rural Iowa...

Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the
farm in force. When they got there, the disaster was clear. The aircraft
was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone.

They spotted a lone farmer plowing a field not too far away as if
nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see
this terrible accident happen?".

"Yep. Sure did." the farmer mumbled unconcernedly, cutting off the
tractor's engine.

"Do you realize that is the airplane of the President of the United
States?"

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?"

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done
buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning.."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff shouted.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. "He kept
a-saying he wasn't ... But you know how bad that sumbitch lies."

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Time now fer some Tommy Cox, "A Big Black Submarine."

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Cookie just loves pull'n great pranks on folks and I'd love to have pulled this one!!!

Gotta THANK my old friend Bob Walker fer that one.
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Boiled Fresh Ham

The other day, me good Irish lass of a wife was at the store getting a 12 pound Leg Fresh Ham. As the butcher was giving it to her, several folks around her asked her "How do you cook that?" She told them that you SIMPLY boil it with some spices!

As it turned out, all the nearby folks that were listening had never heard of "Boiling a Leg Fresh Ham." So, if'n you've never had Boiled Fresh Ham, here's how t'do it, and yur in fer a treat!

1 Leg Fresh Whole Ham or 10- to 12-pound half ham.
IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE A SMOKED HAM OR GLAZED HAM!
A Fresh Ham is simply a very large leg pork roast.

2 teaspoons of salt, or to taste (optional)

4 Tablespoons Chopped fresh Garlic, or to your taste.

1 Tablespoon Allspice, or to your taste.

5-7 Whole cloves, or to your taste.

Water to cover

You’ll need a large pot, because the ham should be covered with water at all times.

Place the ham on a rack in the pot, cover with water. Add the above spices to your taste' cover pot and place on high heat.

Bring water to a full boil. Let boil rapidly about 10 minutes, then reduce heat to a simmer and cook about 25 minutes a pound for a 12-pound ham, or about 4 or 5 hours until a meat thermometer reads the internal temperature is about 160 degrees F.

Remove pot from heat and leave the ham to cool in the cooking water.

Lift ham from cooking water, wipe dry. Remove and discard all the excess fat (and there will be plenty). Carve slices and serve for the main meal, or for sandwiches. Serve with mashed p'taters smuthered in butter, or Garlic Rice, and some Apple Sauce.

ENJOY!
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COMMENTS:

...and that old Gyrene, "You Know Who" said regarding the changes in my Header; "Sarcastic old fart, ain't yah? I'm surprised your Mrs. only boiled your leg...."

A "Special" posting. If'n y'all ever get the chance.....USS Arizona Memorial.

2011-04-03T21:01:00.010-04:00

But first, my wife, the "submariner"...

A few years back my wife and I were fortunate enough to have taken a cruise to Hawaii and while there, we took a dive on the "Atlantis" Submarine. Elaine was a bit apprehensive as first off she doesn't swim and secondly, SHE WAS UNDER THE OCEAN!! It's really quite an interesting tour. We cruised at approximately 127 feet below the surface so it's a very REAL submarine experience. I understand they also have these submarines in the Caribbean as well so if'n y'all ever get a chance, take the dive, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

One of the main reasons I wanted, needed, to go to Pearl Harbor was to see and visit the USS Arizona Memorial. It's a very moving and somber experience, especially fer an old sailor. Of note, is that on the day we were at the Memorial, there were also many older Japanese men and their wives, many were crying. Judging from their ages and their somewhat intense grieving, I suspect they may possibly have had something to do with that date which will live in Infamy, December 7, 1941.

The Memorial is in fact the final resting place of 1177 Sailors and Marines that served aboard her, and out of respect there is virtual silence throughout the Memeorial.

She still bleeds her oil to this day.....

These two short videos are self explanatory.

Now Sir, if'n yur more of an adventurous type, take a "doors off" Helicopter flight over an active volcano, Kilauea. You can really feel the heat from the volcano.

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COMMENTS:

"Vigilis" said; "In its infinite wisdom, the Navy sent me to Pearl for training that had been delayed one week.
This was AFTER I submitted a 60-day "early out" for additional college. The school command approved a one-week vacation (disapproved by my boat, they had said, but I doubted so). I got to Ford Island and the Arizona Memorial- fantastic!
To make the vacation even better, I flew my wife over to Hawaii for a belated honeymoon. The Navy would not approve our marriage for many months (I have the chits to prove it). 35 years later I would be told why: mission criticality. That is all I am at liberty to say to this day.

GO NAVY!"

COOKIE said; Vigilis, if you don't mind, what years were you in? I might be able to figure our the nature and criticality of that mission, location and time. I maintained quite a few contacts after I left the service, many of them Officers like yourself and heard a great many things that I still haven't spoken of to this day. In fact, my post about the near catastrophe at West Milton was the first time I'd spoken about that since 1965.

Sunday sundries...

2011-04-03T09:37:00.000-04:00

Breaking News:

Beginning in early 2011 gas stations will start
showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps so that
you can watch someone else get screwed at the same time
that you are !!!

Have A GREAT Day
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Some financial planning.....

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "But in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million".

"Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
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Gotta Thank Patrick fer this one.....

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says,
"Martini."

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to
the man, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says,” 168."

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space
exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but
he is curious...So he goes back into the bar.

The robot bartender
says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says,
"What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "100."

The robot then
starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and Farmall Tractors .

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will
try it one more time.

He goes back into the bar.

The
robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini," and the
robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, "What's
your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans
in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"

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Saturday Tunes.... As me wife frum Brooklyn would say, "Hoimans Hoimets". Vote fer "Quigley"!

2011-04-02T09:50:00.032-04:00

Well Sir, it seems me old "Gyrene" buddy "The Chief" has entered his rather ugly, but very loveable dog, "Quigley Irwin Wigley" in a local TV station contest fer "TOP DOG" and he would like for all of us who care to do so to go to the link I've provided and VOTE FER QUIGLEY.

http://www.wciu.com/udog.php?section=vote&assetID=10005271
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COMMENTS:

"The Chief" said; "On behalf of Quigley, I thank you, mate. If we ever get together and get to play "BATTLESHIP", I promise to let you win."

Friday...

2011-04-01T09:17:00.001-04:00

For a great many years I was under the mistaken impression that the University of Texas "Longhorn" logo was inspired by the Texas Longhorn breed of cattle. Silly me.

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INNOCENCE IS PRICELESS
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.' 'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this? ' The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.'

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,

'Which service, the 9:00 or the 11:00?'
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Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.

The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday."

On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? "

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?"

"Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison...........

A quote of note!

2011-03-31T11:08:00.000-04:00

But first....

_________________________________

This quote is reported as having originated in the Czech Republic. It doesn't make much difference who said it or where or when it was said. It is worthy of serious thought!

Many of us bloggers have expressed the same concern only not as eloquently or clearly.

"The danger to America is not Barack Obama but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president.
The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America. Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their president."

Regarding the above quote, listen to this. I REST MY CASE!!!

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WTF!!! Where the hell is Spring??

2011-03-30T17:39:00.004-04:00

This is the first time that I recall March not only coming "in like a lion", but going out "like a lion" as well!!!

Issued by The National Weather Service
Binghamton, NY
3:25 pm EDT, Wed., Mar. 30, 2011...

WINTER STORM WATCH IN EFFECT FROM THURSDAY EVENING THROUGH FRIDAY EVENING...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN BINGHAMTON HAS ISSUED A WINTER STORM WATCH... WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM THURSDAY EVENING THROUGH FRIDAY EVENING.

* LOCATIONS... ALL OF NORTHEAST PENNSYLVANIA... CATSKILLS... SUSQUEHANNA REGION OF NEW YORK... THE UPPER MOHAWK VALLEY.

* HAZARDS... HEAVY WET SNOW.

* ACCUMULATIONS... POTENTIAL FOR AT LEAST 7 INCHES OF SNOW. HIGHEST ACCUMULATIONS ARE EXPECTED OVER THE HIGHER ELEVATIONS. LESS SNOW WILL FALL IN THE VALLEYS.

* TIMING... SNOW WILL DEVELOP THURSDAY EVENING AND CONTINUE UNTIL FRIDAY EVENING. THE HEAVIEST SNOW IS EXPECTED LATE THURSDAY NIGHT AND FRIDAY MORNING.

* TEMPERATURES... FROM THE UPPER 20S TO MID 30S.

* WINDS... NORTH TO NORTHEAST WINDS 5 TO 15 MPH. GUSTS TO 25 MPH POSSIBLE FRIDAY AFTERNOON.

* IMPACTS... HEAVY WET SNOW IS EXPECTED TO HAMPER TRAVEL AND COULD LEAD TO SCATTERED POWER OUTAGES DUE TO THE WEIGHT OF THE SNOW.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A WINTER STORM WATCH IS IN EFFECT BECAUSE HEAVY SNOW IS A POSSIBILITY... BUT NOT A CERTAINTY. AT THIS TIME... THERE IS THE POTENTIAL FOR SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF 7 INCHES OR MORE. TRAVEL CONDITIONS COULD BECOME VERY HAZARDOUS... SO IT IS IMPORTANT TO MONITOR THE LATEST FORECASTS AND STATEMENTS IF YOU ARE PLANNING TO TRAVEL IN THE WATCH AREA. PERSONS SHOULD ALSO PREPARE FOR POSSIBLE POWER OUTAGES.
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COMMENTS:

"Vigilis" said; "A few years ago, Al Gore and some federal $$$$ grant-greedy pseudo scientists explained "Global Warming", which would lead to rising sea levels, polar bear extinctions, and human suffocation. When evidence quickly contradicted such bogus claims, these con artists renamed their dire prediction "Climate Change", which could lead to either the foregoing, or shorter crop growing seasons. human migration toward the South, and starvation of human beings.
Are you willing to pay your grandchildren's inheritance tio charlatan's to reduce the carbon dioxide gas we exhale? Go ahead! Climate history, which these con artists cannot alter, tells a quite different story: the relatively short warm period (halocene) we now inhabit typically lasts 10,000 years. Ours is 13,000 years old. Guess what?
We are due for a long (about 100,000 years) cold spell.
http://aquilinefocus.blogspot.com/2007/05/what-is-al-gore-rhythm-more-dance-than.html
"

"The Chief" said; "Well, it's sunny & blue here in the upper Midwest. But, it's still only in the 30s. Maybe April will be better. But then, we'll have to start cutting the damned grass; can't win."

Tuesday Tidbits...

2011-03-29T13:54:00.011-04:00

"Thems fight'n wurds podner!!"

________________________________

Don't ever bitch about your job again!

______________________________

March 30th is Officially, Welcome a Vietnam Vet Home Day. Lets remember why! If you know a Vietnam Vet, just say "Welcome Home and Thank You" for the welcome home he never received.

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Ingenious Way to Stimulate Supermarket Sales !!!

Sense of Freshness....

A while ago a new supermarket opened here in Bridgeport, NY.

It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.

Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the
scent of fresh mowed hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with
onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and
the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked
bread and cookies.

( I don't buy our toilet paper there any more.!)
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Gonna take a very short break. Folks ask me why I don't spend hardly anytime on Facebook even though I'm on it. First, I think its a major waste of time. Second, I've made only two comments on Facebook all the time I've been on it and both time some (although I know what word I would use, you fill in the blanks) has challanged me to a pissing match over something. Life's way to short (and I'm a short-timer already) to waste on crap like that.
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COMMENTS:

"The Chief" said; "Mom always said that "discretion is the better part of valor". I've always relished the "stand & fight" credo, instead. But, when a guy has spent the better part of his life fighting, I guess it's best that he goes with "turn the other cheek" and gives it a rest... for awhile. It's okay, there's at least one Marine out here, willing to pick up the slack while you're on R & R...."

COOKIE; said; I agree with your Mom Chief, and I've opted to "choose my battles" and this one ain't worth the time, nor is the person. Thanks Mate for take'n my back, I could always count on The Marines fer that!

The Chief said; "We don't mind "takin' yer back"; it's a better view... than yer front!"

Whoa!

2011-03-25T17:38:00.004-04:00

If'n ya get motion sickness real easy then I suggest you definitely take yur Dramamine before watch'n this video.

VCA 2010 RACE RUN from changoman on Vimeo.
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COMMENTS:

"Howie" said; "This is another fun post, either way as an ex-submariner I love checking your site every day. Blog on Cookie, you put a smile on my face every day!!"

COOKIE said; Thanks Howie, comment appreciated mate!

Vigilis said; "Chile! Same concern, however."

"Vigilis" said; "Cookie,
Chiming in late. here, but always faithful. What first intriguiged me about this local feat was trying to identifying the locale (which you may already know). by attention to fleeting signage and language clues, the area first seems to be in a very hilly region of Brasil. HINT: Google "Coduego". Now, assuming Brasil s correct, what do we see on the filmmaker's clapboard (or slate) near the video's end?
The writing is neither Portugese nor latino, it appears to be Arabic (I am, however, only somewhat familiar with cyrillic, Greek, anglo and latin scripts). After the Latin alphabet, Arabic is the second-most widely used alphabet around the world. [1]
So, the most unnerving revelation of your video for me is not so much the motion, but the Islamic script on the video creator's almost unnoticeable clapboard in a country, which by CIA Factbook estimates is 89% Christian. I am certain you would never promote such a hidden agenda knowingly, and this one appears to have been well-hidden. Why Arabic?!"

COOKIE sad; It is in fact Chile Vigilis. Its obvious you have great investigative and observation skill Vigilis. Comes with the territory when you're an investigator like yourself. Good job mate!

"Das Tub"

2011-03-24T19:14:00.001-04:00

A spoof taken from "Das Boot", a movie about German submarines in WWII.

Courtesy of Molten Eagle.
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COMMENTS:

"SoCalPal" said; "Das Tub......Too funny! : )
(Excellent acting, visual & sound effects actually. better than 95% of what you get on TV. Think I'll check out their web site."

Who'd a thunk it? The French grow a set!

2011-03-22T23:01:00.002-04:00

But first a short quiz.

Where and when were these photos taken?

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Article taken from NewsMax.

Lt. Col. North: Sarkozy Now ‘Leader of Free World’
Tuesday, 22 Mar 2011 08:37 AM

By Hiram Reisner

Lt. Col. Oliver North contends that President Barack Obama, in effect, has ceded the title of “leader of the Free World” to French President Nicholas Sarkozy by not outlining a defined mission for the United States in its Libyan intervention.

Lt. Col. Oliver North “What you now have is very clearly an effort now to support the rebel movement in a civil war to get to Tripoli and unseat Moammar Gadhafi — this brutal despot — who has ruled the country for 40 years and killed thousands of people,” North told Fox News’ Sean Hannity Monday.

“Nicolas Sarkozy has no doubt about the mission — he is now the leader of the free world.

“It doesn’t bother him what [Russian Prime Minister Vladimir] Putin says or anybody else for that matter. In fact, I’m told that the message he delivered, very straightforward, was: We’re going with you or without you,” North said.

“And that forced Obama’s hand. And Obama then sent [Secretary of State] Hillary Clinton off to try to do what she could in Paris to salvage it,” he continued. “At that point you already had on the ground, in Benghazi, French and British commandos, to control the airstrikes that saved Benghazi.”

North said the bottom line is that Obama tries to please everyone.
“He’s done nothing but apologize for America, literally since he’s been in office. And now, he’s in a position where he has to be the commander-in-chief — and it is just beyond him,” North said.

“If you try to please everyone, you will end up pleasing no one.”

COOKIE's thoughts; Good on you Mr. Sarkozy. It's been clear to me and many others that from the beginning of this intervention in Libya that Mr. Sarkozy's actions have belittled and embarrassed that spineless, inept megalomaniac that we (unfortunately) call POTUS. Also unfortunately, thanks to Obozo's procrastination (or inability to make a real command decision), some of the embarrassment mud splattered on America in general.

Hooorah fer you Col. North fer say'n what many of us were a think'n!
_________________________________

NO Chief, I didn't steal it frum ya. It was posted in my que long before you posted it on yur blog mate!
________________________________

COMMENTS:

"The Chief" said; "The photos with all the boulders were taken of Niagra Falls, the time the water was shut off 'cuz the bill wasn't paid."

He also said; "Actually, it should be "Niagara". I'm starting to get like you."

"The Super Moon" rising over Syracuse, NY.

2011-03-22T11:24:00.001-04:00

**Click on Photo to get a much better perspective**

Well Sir, a good friend of mine, Bob Walker, who is an excellent photographer BTW took this here photygraff of "The Super Moon" rising over Syracuse, NY and the Carrier Dome up at SU (Syracuse University). Great shot Bob, great shot.

Cookie attempted to get a shot or two of this moon as it rose over Oneida Lake but had very little success with my digital camera set in the manual mode. **Sigh**, give me an old fashioned SLR using real film and I'll be able to take a great of just about anything, however these new digitals are not my forte, thats fer damn sure.

If'n y'all wanna see some more of Bob's excellent work, go to the below link and peruse his galleries. He specializes in wild life photography but has a wide range of topics in his varied photo collection(s). You'll also get a good sense about life, americana and activities here in Central NY. I'm sure if'n you appreciate great photography you'll enjoy yourself at his galleries.

http://www.pbase.com/moosebob
_________________________________

Honey! Have you seen my fur coat?? "Not Yours To Give!"

2011-03-20T23:05:00.005-04:00

Y'all will probably watch this one more than once.

________________________________

...and speak'n of Davy Crockett...

"Mike Fink", Hmmm, reminds me of somebody I once knew years back but I just cain't quite narrow it down.....

This next video is absolutely amazing!! It's a true account of an incident that occurred to Davy Crockett somewhere between 1826 and 1834 when he was a United States Congressman.

I was searching YouTube for something else related to Davy Crockett and completely by accident tripped across this, "Not Yours To Give."

What is so absolutely amazing and interesting is not just the wisdom and foresight that was spoken by an average, everyday hard working farmer approximately 185 years ago and is so pertinent and applicable to what our Congress and President are doing today that it is mind blowing. This man's basic and spot on understanding of the Constitution is so pure and simple, and it's TRUE!

This simple farmer understood our Constitution far and away better and more thoroughly than most of our Congressional representatives, and most certainly our President, do today.

PLEASE! Take 8 minutes of your valuable time and watch/listen to this video, then, if you have the fortitude, pass it on to your Congressman/Woman and our illustrious President (not that they'll listen or see the connection).

"Not Yours To Give!"

Sunday sundries....

2011-03-19T23:56:00.007-04:00

Being Sunday, lets start with some "Cute Critters"...

________________________________

An English speaking cab driver in India.

My good neighbors Cletus and his brother Cletus (he's the friendly one) recently went to India to see Bollywood hoping to see Dolly Parton, and while there they saw a sign on the back of a Taxi that said : "English speaking Taxi driver."

Cletus (he's the smart one) told me they thought, "What a great idear, why don't we have them back in our country?"

Now sir, although they may be slow at times (thanks to the fact that their older brother Cletus is also their father and uncle) but sometimes they do come up with a good idea every now and agin. BTW, their older sister, Clecia is also their mother/sister.

**COOKIE'S NOTE** Truth. Back in the day when Cookie was an Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counselor in one of New York State's very rural and sparsely populated counties, Oswego County, one of the things every counselor had to do during an initial evaluation was a family "Geno-gram". A geno-gram is basically a drawing with names and connecting lines showing all the family members and how they are related to each other. On one occasion, I had a client who had family relationships very much like those facetiously described above. His father was in fact his older brother who'd had sexual relationships with his mother and the old sister had sexual relationships with their father thus producing his "brother".BTW, the brother and sister had been fool'n around also, thus resulting in yet another sibling. Now Sir, after I got done adding all the Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles, WOW, my geno-gram wound up looking like a plate of tangled spaghetti. It should also be noted that as a cop, I also ran into incestuous families several times. They didn't have a "Gene Pool", theirs was much more like a very shallow gene puddle.

One of my regular readers and feller blogger, "Signal 94", whom I worked with for many years, also had far too many dealings with this inbred family of complete thieves, idiots and nere'do'wells.

Also, you should know that snowfall totals for many small towns and villages in Oswego County are off the charts in that they receive very heavy "Lake Effect Snow" off Lake Ontario. In February of this year the small town of Redfield, NY officially had over 310 inches of snow on the ground AT THAT TIME. I can't wait to see what the entire seasonal snow fall will be for Redfield.

Hmmmm, I wunder if'n there be a connection between those long hard winters and all the reported familial incest in that county??

Now Sir, in other news, yesterday, at The Oswego County Fair at the cattle judging contest.....

__________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Sig 94" said; " Cookie - the Bidwells were the most famous of the inbred niners. There were a few other familes (all originally up from Redfield way and thereabouts) but none as well known as the Bidwells - especially the brothers Albert and Emmet. I think their sister also had kids by both her brothers. I had more dealings with Emmet as he lived right on Merriman and Albert lived in 68 territory."

COOKIE said; THAT'S IT! The Bidwells. Couldn't recall their names, although after all the dealings we had with that family I shoulda remembered. I recall one time, Mike M. and myself, in a very obvious unmarked police car with the police radio blaring, parked next to the sidewalk, sat there and watched as one of them physically stole (robbery) a bike from a 10 year old kid who was crying his eyes out. The incident happened only about 10 feet from Mike as he watched in disbelief, and Bidwell looked at Mike (who was sitting in the passenger seat) and said " if you call the police I'll hunt you down and kill you." DUH!! Unbelievably stupid.
Thanks "Sig"!

Saturday sundries....

2011-03-19T10:54:00.008-04:00

BOMBS AWAY!!! This is about the only action that Obama will ever take against Ghadafi, if he does anything at all. The man is simply all talk, and no action, and every country in the world knows it and laughs at the fool (and us as well for having elected this inept, procrastinating fool to office). Just look back at all the various statements and ultimatums he has made in different world situations and you'll see what I'm talk'n about. When, if ever will Obozo and all his little appointed Bozo's realize that folks are not stupid?

This is one of the few WWII aircraft that Cookie has never had a ride in or sat "Right Seat" fer a spell. Who knows what type of aircraft this is?
____________________________

____________________________________

Ya just gotta love British honesty and humor

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES. 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY ! Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.

"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a husband?
_________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Dapper Dan" said; "Cookie, I first thought B25, but the plane in the pic doesn't have the twin tail. So, B26?
And that Illinois: where Dems go to hide out...is very nice. I think it applies to Dems other than those in Wisconsin, I think that in 2012 the Dem in the White House will be going back there to hideout too."

COOKIE said; Yupper Dan, a Martin B-26 Marauder. I've only ever seen one in my life and that was back when I was a young'n, maybe 10 or 12 years old and at the old "Hancock Field" here in Syracuse, NY, back when a goodly part of it was an Air Force Base.

"The Chief" said; "Cookie! Cookie! Is it a B-26? Huh? I always get my "B's" a little mixed up: 24-26. I preferred the B-25's the most. I guess it's because of Billy Mitchell and the old "Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo" movie; I was brainwashed, don'tcha know?"

COOKIE said; Yupper, that it is mate. The first book I ever read from cover to cover was "Thirty Seconds over Tokyo", and like you have always had a fascination with the Mitchell B-25. BTW, I've flown out of Billy Mitchel field up your way in Wisconsin.

Have Amelia and Noonan been found? A Quiz. Important Heads-Up for Vets. Irish Stew Recipe fer t'day, St. Paddy's Day.

2011-03-16T22:29:00.009-04:00

But First, an important Heads-Up for ALL Veterans.

Subject: WARNING TO ALL VETERANS - Concerning "Veterans Affairs Services"

--- On Tue, 3/15/11, PatriotSupport@aol.com wrote:

From: PatriotSupport@aol.com
Subject: WARNING TO ALL VETERANS - Concerning " Veterans Affairs Services"

Date: Tuesday, March 15, 2011, 7:45 PM

Team, If you are a Veteran, have friends, family members who are Veterans, please share the information with them, to help protect them too. These criminals, are very well versed, and convincing. Help protect all our Veterans. Sherri

(Sent from Will)
WARNING TO VETERANS
Forwarded by Kevin Secor, VSO Liaison, Office of the Secretary of the Department of Veterans Affairs.

An organization called Veterans Affairs Services (VAS) is providing benefit and general information on VA and gathering personal information on veterans. This organization is not affiliated with VA in any way.

Websites with the name "vaservices"immediately after the "www" ARE NOT part of the Department of Veterans Affairs, the US

Government agency. Do not go to them or if approached or called, do not offer them any information concerning yourself or data on other veterans. Keep in mind that the real VA website ends in .gov.

**Also, be aware that the Department of Veterans Affairs does not randomly call veterans, nor does it ask veterans for information which it does not already have--like Social Security Numbers. In particular, if you have not dealt with the VA previously--and in person--and all of a sudden, you receive a call from someone saying they are with the VA or something similar sounding, hang up the phone. Also, do not respond to emails which suggest that they are from the VA. The VA never conducts official business nor asks for personal information by email. **

VAS may be gaining access to military personnel through their close resemblance to the VA name and seal. Our Legal Counsel has requested that we coordinate with DoD to inform military installations, particularly mobilization sites, of this group and their lack of affiliation or endorsement by VA to provide any services.

In addition, GC requests that if you have any examples of VAS acts that violate chapter 59 of Title 38 United States Code, such as VAS employees assisting veterans in the preparation and presentation of claims for benefits, please pass any additional information to Mr. Daugherty at the address below.

Michael G. Daugherty
Staff Attorney
Department of Veterans Affairs
Office of General Counsel (022G2)
810 Vermont Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20420

Cookie's NOTE: It should also be noted that I attempted to verify this e-mail itself at 2 "Truth/Fiction" sites and could find nothing, HOWEVER, I did find a website named Veterans Affairs Services, and it does state that it IS NOT affiliated with the United States Government.

To be safe, I personally would not have any dealings with this site in that it very well might be an elaborate "phishing Scheme".
_________________________________

Cookie, like a great many other folks, just loves an unsolved mystery. That's why I loved Detective work so much. Below is a link to a new 11 minute YouTube video regarding the archaeological search team that have found many very promising items and bones that may have once been those of Earhart and Fred Noonan, her navigator. This is a relatively new video and is chocked full of very interesting and excellent photos of the many items found on Nikumaroro Isl, about ??? nautical miles from Howland's Isl, Earhart's last destination before she was last heard of.

**See below map as to their geographical location to each other.**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZDWOqPZ23A

_______________________________

Quiz.

1) Approximately how many miles are there between Nikumaroro Isl. and Howland's Isl?

2) Why does the location of Nikumaroro Island lend itself to the possibilty that this is where Earhart and Noonan spent their last day?

3) Were partial skeletal remains ever found on Nikumaroro Isl, and if so, by whom and when?

4) If human skeletal remains are still on this island, where (specifically) might they be located even to this day?

5) What item was located that might have belonged to navigator Fred Noonan?

Good luck mates!
__________________________________

Traditional Shamrock Stew Recipe Photo by: Taste of Home
100% would make again

You don't have to be Irish to enjoy this savory stew. Homemade dumplings make it extra special.

This recipe is: Contest Winning

8 Servings. Prep time: 20 min. Cook: 1-1/4 hours.

Ingredients;

1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon salt, optional
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1-1/2 to 2 pounds beef top round steak, cut into 1-inch cubes
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 can (8 ounces) Hunt’s® Tomato Sauce
2 cups water
1 large onion, sliced
1 teaspoon dried marjoram
1 bay leaf
1 pound carrots, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 package (10 ounces) frozen peas

DUMPLINGS:
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 cup milk
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley, optional

OR

Do like Cookie does and use Bisquick.

Directions;

In a large bowl, combine flour, salt if desired and pepper; set aside 2 tablespoons. Add meat to bowl and toss to coat.

In a Dutch oven (preferably Cast Iron if'n y'all have one) or large soup kettle, over medium heat, cook the meat in oil until no longer pink; drain. Stir in tomato sauce, water and reserved flour mixture. Add onion, marjoram and bay leaf; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 2 hours, stirring occasionally.

Add carrots; cover and simmer for 45 minutes. Stir in peas. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes for until the vegetables are tender. Remove bay leaf.

For dumplings, in a large combine flour and baking powder. Stir in milk, egg, oil and parsley if desired. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto simmering stew. Cover and cook for 12-14 minutes or until done. Do not lift the cover.

Serve immediately. Yield: 8 servings.
___________________________

_______________________________

COMMENTS:

"Vigilis" said; "1) About 420 NM, but I am no navigator.
2) Because Earhart had said she was flying on a “157/337” line and such a line passing through Howland also passes in visual range of Gardner per chart.
3) British records document discovery in 1940 of the partial skeleton of a castaway who perished while attempting to survive on Nikumaroro sometime prior to the island’s settlement in 1939. in 1946 a “native” had Coast Guardsman Floyd Kilts of finding human bones and a “woman’s shoe, American kind” on the island.
4) A place near the southeast end of the island, associated with fire, bird, and turtle bones in the so-called Seven Site.
5) With the bones were found a sextant box bearing a stencilled number that is similar to a number written on a sextant box known to have belonged to Fred Noonan".

COOKIE said; Spot on Vigilis, excellent research. The answer to the #4 question is indeed correct, in a broader sense than what I wanted. Where, in and around the "Seven Site" might the bones still be discovered. Has to do with certain critters on the island.

"ABNPOPPA" said; "Cookie, An interesting recipe to say the least. Thanks for adding me to your blog roll. You are also listed on my now as a place to go for good Grub & Gab."

"Dapper Dan" said; "I second what you said about Vigilis' research. Well done. The Earhart case has always interested me. Will you be tackling Judge Crater and Jimmy Hoffa now that this one is almost solved?"

COOKIE said; LOL, I doubt I'll be tackling the Hoffa case any time soon. Back in the day, I knew some of the "bent nose" crowd and from what I've heard (and it has to be taken with a HUGE grain of salt, pun intended as you'll see), Hoffa's body will never be found because....

..are ya ready....

he was probably devoured as sausage. That was the word back then. Butchered, ground up and served up as sausage meat, so if'n ya had some Italian sausage fer breakfast or in yur spagetti back then, and it gave you more heartburn than usual you mighta had a real case of "Italian ageda".

Sometimes this is the only thing that works with a Bully (short video). Another quiz.

2011-03-16T11:48:00.002-04:00

When Cookie was growing up back in High School, like practically all schools, ours had our share of Bully's, and one particularly nasty one named "Noah".

Now Sir, I stood 5'11" and weighed in at about 180 back then. I preferred not to fight if possible, so I intentionally walked away from a few situations were Noah and his buddies were looking to mix it up. Of course Noah and his crew thought me to be a coward, or weak, however, there came an evening were Noah and friends saw a different side of me.

After having been confronted on the street by this crew, and eventually being shoved and swung at, I responded with the same pent up rage as that of "Ralphy" in the movie "Christmas Story". I've always really loved and related to that scene.

After I literally beat (and kicked), the living daylights out of Noah and one of his loyal minions, they limped off into the night licking there wounds. After that evening, Noah not only gave me a wide berth but was eventually friendlier than hell with me from there on out. Most often, the only thing a bully respects is PAIN!

Cookie has a grand-son with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism. He's a big hefty lad weighing in at near 200 pounds. Like most folks with Aspergers, he wouldn't harm a fly...TRUTH! When he was in High School a few years back, like most poor kids with disabilities of some kind, he was being bullied by several assholes in the school. Some kids can be very cruel. One day he told me about what what happening to him and he asked me what I thought he should do.

I told him that violence should always be the last resort, but there are times when dealing with Bully's that it becomes necessary. I showed him a few police moves that although painful, were harmless. I instructed him to only use these when it became absolutely necessary, otherwise the bullying would simply continue.

You guessed it, there came a day when he fought back and, long story short, was never bullied again throughout the remained of High School.

Someone just sent me this video of a kid who was being bullied and looked a lot like my grandson did when he was a little older than this kid.

Watch this bully get the shit kicked out of him with just one move. If you look at the video closely I think the bully's ankle may have been broken, or at least badly sprained. I'm certain he'll never bother the other lad ever again. As my grand-daddy woulda said, "I love it when an asshole gets their 'come-upins.'"

GOOD FER YOU KID, GOOD FER YOU!!!

_____________________________________

Quiz:

1) Who/What were "The Molly Maguires?

2) Who stared in the movie?

3) What state were The Molley Maguires active in?

4) Where, and approximately when did The Molly's originate?

"Bob Winston" said; "** I'm trying to reach back on old memory of watching this Movie only once (long ago) and only partially... Movie Name "the Molly Maguires"... Ans. #1, Coal miners (?)... #2, Richard Harris... #3, Pennsylvania (?)... #4, Ireland.... When... (Guess) early 1900's... That's my best guesses... See 'ya... Bob **

COOKIE said; All of the answers are correct except for one. See if you can figure out which one Bob.

Hey Dad! What's fer breakfast? Hobo Skillet!

2011-03-15T16:08:00.007-04:00

I was recently visiting over at that old cranky curmudgeon, "The Chief", and he had posted an article about a meal he had in a diner recently, HOBO SKILLET. It got me to think'n bout sumthin I used to make many years back when all four youngin's was a grow'n up.

I broke our my recipe collection and sure nuff, there it was Hobo Skillet. Now, I'm not sure if its exactly the same thing "The Chief" had but they sure do look alike. Here be the recipe if'n ya don't mind eat'n a real cholesterol bomb!

Hobo Skillet

Prep Time: 15 min

Cook Time: 15 min

Serves: 4 servings

Ingredients
• 12 ounces country style bulk sausage OR sliced link sausage.
• 3/4 cup chopped yellow or Vadelia onions
• 1/2 cup sliced fresh mushrooms, and 1/2 cup sliced green pepper
• 4 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 3 cups fresh hash browns OR 3 cups uncooked home fries.
• 6 scrambled eggs OR 3 fried eggs-over easy.
• 1 to 1 1/2 cup(s) shredded Cheddar cheese.

Directions

In a large skillet over medium-high heat, brown the sausage, drain most, but not all of the fat.

Add onions, mushrooms and sliced peppers and cook until tender, set aside in a separate bowl.

In the same skillet, add the oil and hash browns/home fries over medium-high heat and cook until golden brown on 1 side. Once golden brown add the scrambled eggs, mushroom, peppers & onion mixture. Scramble together until desired consistency and top with cheese.

**NOTE-** A Variation: Like in the above photo, Cookie prefers NOT to use scrambled eggs. After I've added the mushroom, pepper & onion mixture to the cooked sausage and hash browns/home fries, I remove from skillet while its still hot and place it into a bowl and top with the shredded cheese and stir around long enough for cheese to melt through the hot mixture. Then I place servings on plates top each serving with 2 or 3 recently fried eggs (OVER-EASY--that way the yoke soaks through the entire dish).

Cover with a lid until cheese melts and serve.
_____________________________________________

**SIGH** A mothers wurk is never done....

_________________________________

Quiz!

Watch short video first. BTW, Cookie actually saw a few of these Constellations while growing up, even flew on one when I was a real young'n (that gives ya an idear how old this type of plane was).

1) What is the name of the theme being played in the Video?

2) Who was the main star of the Movie?

3) Which Airline had the most of this type of aircraft?
__________________________________

Yupper, my kinda Cops!

Actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” ( National Crime Information Center )

13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”

14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

AND THE WINNER IS….

16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”
_____________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Deke" said; Now that is a breakfast.

"Northwoods Doc" said; "The High and Mighty starring John Wayne - TWA

"Dapper Dan" said; "Man, that hobo skillet is mouth watering delicious. We've got to try that!

The movie them is "The High and Mighty." The star was John Wayne (I knew it, but confess I checked wiki to make sure). I would guess Pan Am or TWA, but since I need to go with one, I'll say TWA. The Constellation was one of the most beautiful airplanes ever manufactured. I saw one land at Berry Field in Nashville when I was a kid. In 2005, we took a trip to the Grand CAnyon and on the road leading to it, stopped at an air museum. They had a "Connie" outside and the guides explained that it was the one that was MacArthur's personal ride for awhile before Pres. Truman fired him."

COOKIE said; Well looks like we got two folks who got the quiz spot on. Good on ya both mates! Guess I'll have to begin making the quiz's a touch more difficult.

"The Chief" said; " Heck, I dunno, but I'll guess: 1. "The High and the Mighty"; 2. John Wayne; 3. TWA. What do I win?"

COOKIE said; Hey, we've got yet another winner. BTW Chief, you winn my respect and admiration!

Paddy's Award, a food review and a few jokes.

2011-03-14T11:35:00.005-04:00

Paddy O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wonderful wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

Paddy thought about it and finally said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, Paddy!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Paddy won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

Paddy is now look'n fer a new Pub t'hang out in.
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Results of The Traditional Irish Lamb Stew!

A few posts back I posted a recipe (that I hadn't tried yet) from "Taste of Home" magazine for Traditional Irish Lamb Stew.

I made it this date, Sunday, and its very easy to see why it was rated in that publication as a 5 STAR recipe! It was outstanding!

I would however make three small changes for the next time I make (and there will definately be a next time), first, add 2 tsp's of salt instead on one, second, add 3/4 tsp pepper, and third, 1/2 tsp dill.

Other than those minor changes, it was very delicious and enjoyable.
_______________________________

Irish golfer

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his
drive into the woods. Looking for his ball,
he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back,
a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball
beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from
the cart and poured it over the little guy,
reviving him.

'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.
'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says.
'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square.
Ye get three wishes, so whadd ya want?'

'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer
answers in relief. 'I don't want anything,
I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.'

And the golfer walks off.

'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself.
I have to do something for him. I'll give him
the three things I would want... a great golf game,
all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

A year goes by and the golfer is back.
On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into
the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.
'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,
' the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye,
how's yer golf game?'

'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers.
I'm an internationally famous golfer now.'
He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're
all right'

'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer
golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money
situation?'

'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states.
'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket
and pull out $100 bills I didn't even know were there!'

'I did that fer ye also.'
And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment,
and says shyly, 'It's OK.'

C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun,
'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job.
How many times aweek?'

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers,
'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock.
'That's all? Only once or twice a week?'

'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a
Catholic priest in a small parish.
_____________________________________

The skunk has replaced the Eagle as the new symbol of the American Presidency.

It is half black, half white, and everything he does STINKS!
___________________________________

A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

It was their 50th Anniversary

"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one, "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."

Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."

"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."

Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we each worked two jobs and were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."

The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"

"Yep," said the father. " And cheap ones too ."
_________________________________________

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady

At the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells

Her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her

Complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks

To file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks:

"What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Frank. The midget."
_______________________________

COMMENTS:

"Dapper Dan" said; "Gotta watch those little guys. They do have certain advantages!

"Dapper Dan" said; "I was laughing so hard at the midget joke I forgot to comment on the others. I liked 'em all, especially Paddy's toast. Glad the Irish stew turned out good. Joyce and I wanna try that when she's felling better. "

History You never knew! What has happened in Japan (a nuclear excusion), almost happened here in NY State in 1965. UPDATED with new video!

2011-03-12T20:13:00.051-05:00

Approaching the Nuclear Prototype training facility at West Milton, NY.
**Click To Enlarge**

I just located this photo on line that was taken by another Naval Nuclear Power trainee back in the mid-late 60's. This is what it looked like back in 1965 driving down the access road to the Nuclear Prototype Training facility in West Milton, NY. It always made me think of something out of a Sci-Fi movie, especially when it was foggy.

With all that is happening in Japan right now regarding the three nuclear reactors, I am reminded of an incident that occurred in 1965 at the nuclear training facility I was stationed at, a near nuclear excursion. This is something I have never spoke of before now.

In 1965 Cookie was a Navy Nuclear Power student at the Naval Reactor Prototype training facility in West Milton, NY (near Saratoga Springs, NY). There were two nuclear reactors at this site, one "The Ball" (pictured in the above photograph) was for nuclear powered surface ship training, and the other for Nuclear Submarine training (not shown).
http://www.globalsecurity.org/wmd/facility/knolls_k.htm

It was November 9th, 1965 at approximately 5:00 PM when the entire Northeast United States was plunged into complete darkness in what has been called "The Great Northeast Blackout". Some of you may actually recall this event. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northeast_Blackout_of_1965

Without becoming very technical let me just say that at that time there were two sources of outside power feeding this then General Electric operated site. One source came in from Connecticut and the other from Con-Ed (NY). They were called "SIR" and "SAR". These two power sources were intentionally redundant in case there was ever a power failure in either one. No one ever planned for the contingency that ALL power from both sources would lost at the same time, AND, that both nuclear reactors would ALSO be off-line at the same time.

As it happened, at the moment the NE blackout occurred, one reactor, the surface training reactor was shut down and "off-line", and the submarine training reactor was in the process of being brought up to critical operation but was not yet a self sustaining nuclear reaction.

The moment the NE Blackout occurred, all the control rods in the operational submarine reactor "scrammed" (a necessary safety measure) and immediately shut down the reactor. The problem was that without any electrical power at all, the main cooling pumps that circulate water to cool the reactor core were not operational and the heat in the core was extensive in that it was close to "critical" operation at the time of the power failure.

This type of scenario can lead to what is known as a "Nuclear Excursion", not an explosion. An excursion is when the cooling water surrounding the core eventually flashes to superheated steam and blows open the reactor itself, and then the containment vessel that houses the reactor ( and the core) blows open, exposing the highly radioactive core to the atmosphere.

This type of event can eventually lead to a meltdown of the core, and then to what some refer to as "The China Syndrome". In other words, the core is so hot it could theoretically burn through the earths crust to China (actually no further than the center of the earth) on the other side of the planet.

To Cookie's knowledge, 2 Nuclear Excursions are on record, the first having occurred in Idaho in 1961 at the SL1 training reactor,
( http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/nuclear/radevents/1961USA1.html ), and the other at the Chernobyl nuclear disaster.

For those of you that may be interested, here is a link to a once "Classified" video of the SL1 excursion event.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIBQMkd96CA&NR=1

To continue, I recall that as the core temperatures of the scrammed S3G sub reactor began to increase into dangerous levels, many GE engineers and technicians were literally running around like chickens with their heads cut off. All non-essential personnel were ordered to leave the site immediately. Power to operate the Main Circulating pumps was needed immediately. Where to get the power?

Now Sir, I don't recall his name (I truly wish I did), but a Navy 2nd Class Petty Officer was the person who came up with an idea and suggested running power cables from an old, unused diesel generator that was outside and some distance from the "reactor hull" (and meant for other purposes), to the Main Circulating Pumps. Cables were quickly located and run from this old generator into "the hull" and connected to the Main Circ. pumps. No one was even sure if the generator would start or not. Fortunately for a great many folks, it did, and a terrible disaster was very narrowly averted. His idea and actions literally saved the nearby towns of West Milton, Ballston Spa, Mechanicsville and Saratoga NY (and possibly a great many more towns and villages). That Petty Officer was an unsung Hero if there ever was one.

I have often wondered if the residents of those sleepy, quaint little village and towns ever knew how close they came to a nuclear disaster like that happening in Japan as I type this. To be clear, Cookie is NOT against nuclear power, in fact I'm all for it, especially in these energy starved times. Like any new technology(at that time it was relatively new), we learn from our mistakes and what happened at West Milton and other sites in the US could, in all probability not happen today.

I know this to be true because Cookie was there! This is the first time I have ever spoken of that event since 1965. In those days, Naval Nuclear Power was relatively new and a highly secret/confidential matter and it was strictly forbidden to talk about anything related to that topic.

I guess in closing the old adage "No Harm-No Foul" applies. Like anything else in life, if we're astute enough, we learn from our mistakes.
_______________________________

COMMENTS:

"SubVet" said; "WOW! I remember that blackout, it shut down the entire East Coast and the last I remember, nobody ever pinned down exactly what caused it.

Yep, the powers that be probably wanted this one kept quiet. REAL quiet. Hopefully that 2nd Class got the recognition he deserved."

COOKIE said; SubVet, there are two possible causes of that Blackout, one theory is that a UFO was spotted hovering (many witness's to this) over a Power Sub Station in Clay, NY (about 10 miles from where I live right now), however, the most probable cause was a technician improperly set a safety device at too low of a setting (up in Canada) and when the evening power demand surged from folks turning on the evening lights and heat, the breaker popped and a domino effect occurred .

I have no idea if that Petty Officer was ever recognised for his heroic actions, but if not, a grave injustice was done.

"Vigilis" said; "Enjoyed this post. Was in Schenectady at the time. Received related e-mail short while ago."

"Dapper Dan" said; "Cookie, this is an interesting story. I lived in KY at the time and remember seeing stories about it on TV and reading about in the newspapers. But your personal story brings home the dangers a blackout like that can cause. I support nuclear power too, and I'm sure you're right about their being safeguards at nuke plants against this kind of situation developing now days. But I think a massive blackout could cause other non-nuclear problems that could be equally dangerous and I'm not sure we're fully prepared for that contingency. I'm with your other readers about the guy who saved the day with his quick thinking. He deserved to be honored and rewarded for his quick actions.

BTW, I'm also interested in and open to the UFO possibility too. Do you have any other info on why (other than the eyewitness accounts) that a UFO could have been responsible?"

COOKIE said; Dan, there is a theory that UFO's can draw power from our electrical grid through Inductance, and when you think about it, it's very possible. The new cell phone charges that are now out that you simply place your cell phone on a pad and they charge up, work by inductance. The sudden (or high) draw on power could have started the domino effect that resulted.

"Ex-Nuc" said; "I qualed at S3G in 1980. Did some work in that RC on the pressurizer too. Air was hazy with insulation. Was the single largest exposure in my career. Hmmmm...."

"The Chief" said; "We can always count on the old Cookie Monster to bring us the untold truth. A really interesting footnote to history that should be made public."

Cookie Opine's...This really piss's me off!! Is this event a Coincidence?

2011-03-12T09:38:00.008-05:00

Last WWI Vet Buckles Will Lie in Basement at Arlington, Not Capitol Rotunda

Mar 11, 2011 – 3:14 PM

WASHINGTON -- The last American doughboy from World War I will lie in honor in a basement chapel of the amphitheater of Arlington National Cemetery -- not the U.S. Capitol rotunda -- and then be interred on Tuesday.

In a brief announcement, the cemetery said Army Cpl. Frank Buckles, who died at 110 on Feb. 27, will be "memorialized" and will "lie in honor" at Arlington's Memorial Amphitheater Chapel from 8 a.m. until 2 p.m. for the public to pay their last respects.

There is no ceremony planned in the amphitheater, even though congressional leaders said they had asked the Pentagon to allow a special service to be held there.

He will be buried with full military honors. The burial service is scheduled for 4 p.m. after viewing in the underground chapel ends.

The short news release said nothing about honoring Buckles in the Capitol as his daughter and her supporters have repeatedly requested both before and after he died last month.

The last surviving American World War I veteran, seen here in 2009, will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery with full military honors on Tuesday. Susannah Buckles Flanagan had refused to take "no" for an answer after congressional leaders turned down her request to have his remains lie in honor in the rotunda.

A family spokesman told The Associated Press today that it was satisfied with the honors planned at Arlington, which include a presidential order for flags to fly at half-staff at federal buildings on Tuesday.

Just 32 people have been honored in the U.S. Capitol. Most were presidents, statesmen and military leaders.

As AOL News reported last week, the family of the most decorated soldier of World War I turned down an offer to have his remains lie in the Capitol when he died in 1964.

Despite the decision by Speaker of the House John Boehner and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to honor Buckles at Arlington in a special ceremony and viewing, the veteran's daughter waged a relentless public relations offensive to pressure them to reverse course.

She and her backers in the West Virginia congressional delegation marshaled big guns to make their case. Everyone from former GOP presidential nominee and wounded World War II veteran Bob Dole to the great-grandson of Sir Winston Churchill -- who issued an "urgent statement" that implored President Barack Obama to intervene to allow Buckles to lie in "honour" starting Sunday.

The plea apparently was ignored as officials rejected politically charged barbs and decided there was a limit on the level of honors owed to Buckles.

Visitation has been scheduled in a quiet neighborhood of northwest Washington, far from Capitol Hill. Those wishing to pay respects to Buckles can file past his coffin from noon to 6 p.m. Sunday at Joseph Gawler's Sons Chapel and again from noon to 9 p.m. Monday.

The more modest visitation will be followed by a special ceremony in Arlington's amphitheater. The venue is usually reserved for official memorial services on Easter, Memorial Day and Veterans Day. Families of those interring loved ones at Arlington normally hold services in the cemetery's chapel.

A more low-key local service is scheduled for Wednesday at a church in Buckles' hometown of Charles Town, W.Va.

Cookie's OPINE: **Sigh**, I guess if he had been a black woman like Rosa Parks (who was in the Rotunda) they would have let him into the Capitol Rotunda instead of a "Basement". In my book they BOTH fought for FREEDOM in thier own ways.
____________________________

Hmmmm....In light of the recent Japanese earthquake and the resultingTsunami....

Astronomy Weather BlogShare

Extreme Super (Full) Moon to Cause Chaos?
Mar 1, 2011; 7:54 AM ET

Coming up later this month (March 19 to be exact) the moon will make its closest approach to Earth (called lunar perigee) in 18 years. A new or full moon at 90% or greater of its closest perigee to Earth has been named a "SuperMoon" by astrologer Richard Nolle. This term has been recently picked up by astronomers. An extreme "SuperMoon" is when the moon is full or new as well as at its 100% greater mean perigee (closest) distance to earth. By this definition, last month's full moon, this month's and next month's will all be extreme "SuperMoons".

Please visit Richard's website by clicking here.

I have read several "new age" forecasts that go something like this: "Extreme SuperMoon this month (March 2011) will bring strong earthquakes and storms and/or unusual climate patterns." Google the term 'extreme SuperMoon March 2011' and see for yourself what comes up. The validity of these types of forecasts can be debated ad nauseum.

There were SuperMoons in 1955, 1974, 1992 and 2005. These years had their share of extreme weather and other natural events. Is the Super Moon and these natural occurences a coincidence? Some would say yes; some would say no. I'm not here to pick sides and say I'm a believer or non-believer in subjects like this, but as a scientist I know enough to ask questions and try to find answers.

We obviously know that there are scientific laws that say the moon affects the Earth (i.e. tides). There are also less proven theories that propose that the moon affects the Earth in other ways (i.e. abnormal behavior during a full moon). Can the Super (full) Moon contribute to extreme weather and other natural phenomenon?

AccuWeather Facebook fanpage member Daniel Vogler adds, "The last extreme super moon occurred was on January 10th, 2005, right around the time of the 9.0 Indonesia earthquake. That extreme super moon was a new moon. So be forewarned. Something BIG could happen on or around this date. (+/- 3 Days is my guess)"

So what can we expect this time? Earthquakes? Volcanic eruptions? I guess we can only wait and see.

Found this story over at Patricks place!

**BTW mates, althought the 19th of March is not here yet, the moon is still very close and is affecting the earth right now.**

Wunder if'n this is what CCR was talk'n bout in this here song of theirs??

______________________________

Don'tcha mess with them thar Texans....

______________________________

COMMENTS:

"Dapper Dan" said; "Cpl. Buckles passing marks the end of an era. I'm glad he at least got the Arlington ceremony.
That super moon story is fascinating. I'll be watching to see what happens. And I always like CCR and "Bad Moon Rising" is one of their best.
Why did the Muslim group buy the property in the first place, knowing there was a pig farm next door? Sounds like they just wanted to cause problems, stir things up and see how many PC libs will come to their defense."

COOKIE said; Couldn't agree more "Dan the Man".

A St. Paddy's Day meal, Traditional Irish Lamb Stew.

2011-03-11T15:43:00.004-05:00

First, some wurds of wisdom; "Age is akin to a balloon; as it rises, it broadens our view."

Now Sir, here be a recipe I've never made before so's I'll be make'n it for me Irish lass of a wife in a few days. Sounds pretty good and has a 5 Star rating from "Taste of Home" magazine. Nuthin but the best fer me better half.

BTW, if you really wanna impress an Irishman who speaks Gaelic, wish him/her a Happy St. Patrick's Day by saying it in Gaelic "Po'g Mo Tho'in".

Traditional Irish Lamb Stew.

6 Servings, Prep: 25 min. Cook: 2 hours

Ingredients;

6 tablespoons all-purpose flour, divided
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1-1/2 pounds lamb stew meat, cut into 1-inch cubes
2 tablespoons canola oil
3 cups water
1/2 teaspoon dill weed
8 pearl onions, peeled
3 medium carrots, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 large potatoes, peeled and cubed
1/2 cup half-and-half cream
Hot biscuits

Directions;

In a large resealable plastic bag, combine 4 tablespoons flour, salt and pepper. Add lamb; shake to coat.

In a Dutch oven, brown lamb in oil on all sides. Add water and dill; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 1-1/2 hours or until meat is almost tender.

Add the onions, carrots and potatoes. Cover and simmer for 30 minutes or until the meat and vegetables are tender.

In a small bowl, place remaining flour; stir in cream until smooth. Stir into stew. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Serve with biscuits.

Yield: 6 servings.
_______________________________

Well Sir, like I've said before, "The Chief", that old crotchety curmudgeon of a Gyrene, who loves to bust Cookie's balls, just sent me this video on how he used to pick up girls when he was single and much younger, and how "Humble" he is....

Hmmm, why do I doubt his veracity.
________________________________

Disclaimer: If'n Y'all do decide to say "Po'g Mo Tho'in" to a Gaelic speak'n Irishman, y'all better be ready t'run real fast cause it actually means "Kiss My Ass"!
___________________________________

COMMENTS:

"The Chief" said; "The truth be told, the video is fairly accurate, except we did not have those drinks, back then. Often, I'd just stand on any corner, and lick my eyebrows. It usually worked just fine...."

A couple of old friends, thier blogs, a new blog...a new friend.

2011-03-10T11:40:00.007-05:00

Well Sir, one of the things many of us enjoy bout bloggin is that on occasion we meet new folks who we immediately "click" with for whatever reason.

In the case of "The Chief", a cantankerous old Gyrene who never misses an opportunity to tell us all how "Humble" he is, we enjoy bust'n each others nuts in a typical Navy-Marine competitive spirit. He also never misses a chance to tell Cookie about my mis-spelled wurds, which, since I can't get my "spell check" to wurk on the new blogger editor anymore, are quite frequent.

BTW, here's a great example of his Ball-Busting talents.

If'n Y'all get a chance, stop over to "Smolder'n Embers in a Mohawk Campfire" and say "hey" to him (and maybe bust his chops a mite while yur there).

Well Sir, a few months back I met "Dapper Dan" who has 2 blogs, one is "The Cumberland Post" and a brand spank'n new one called "Country Dirt".

Dan (who indeed does look "dapper" as you can see from his pic) is a published author and has a new book out called "Blood Country", a murder mystery. His blogs have an overall Country Music theme with great music videos, some of them Country, some old "Rock-A-Billy, some Bluegrass, and early rock, combined many interesting facts and events that actually occurred in the Nashville country music industry.

Throughout Dans life he has been fortunate to meet some interesting folks and celebrities in the Country music industry and the stories and accounts in his posts are most enjoyable to read.

"Dan" BTW is a retired college professor who once fed off the Liberal "cool-aid" but has since weaned himself off that foul tasting teat. He now views life and reality through a much clearer prism. Good fer you mate!

Now Sir, another old blogger and friend, "SubVet" is a retired Navy Chief Petty Officer who served his country for over 20 years aboard several nuclear Submarines, has a blog called "Blowing Sanitary #1" ( a Sub term for blowing the shit tank overboard).

SubVet is a self confessed Recovering Alcoholic (as is Cookie) who periodically, insightfully and thoroughly dissects various events and conditions in our country and this world, and then offers us his opinion(s) and idea's regarding those events (often "Spot-On"). He is also on his own spiritual journey and expounds on this on occasion.

So, in closing, if'n Y'all get a chance, stop over to these blogs, have a good read, leave a comment and tell em "Cookie sent me".
________________________________

COMMENTS:

...and "The crotchety old Jarhead..er...Chief" said; "Oh, great.... Just what I need, friends of yours, dropping by the Campfire. I guess this means I'll have to change loincloths and flush the bilge tank. Can't you just leave well enough, alone? You think they'll bring along some firewater, hopin' to get this old Injun likered up? Oh! And another thing... grownups actually use "spell check"? Reely?"

"IronTomFlint" said; "Hay Kooky! Tail thet their Cheef they is nuttin' rong wid yure spelling! Joust kolourful eufeminisms is awl it is!
I'm getting off my soapbox now..."

COOKIE said; Thanks Tom, I'll make sure the old curmudgeon reads this!

"Dapper Dan" said; "Cookie, thanks man, for the link and for mentioning me in such good company. I'm truly honored. I'll also be checking out subvets and the chief's blogs. I've got a post up today which links to your blog and to theirs as well. Thanks again."

"SubVet" said; "Thanks Cookie! Really flattered. For those who don't know, those munchkins standing in front of me are mine and the wife's. NOT my grandkids Funny how so many people think they are, must be the "Retired" word on that shirt. Couldn't have anything to do with age." :)

Tuesday Tidbits.....

2011-03-07T18:24:00.014-05:00

Well Sir, as much as I hate to admit it, sometimes that cantankerous old Gyrene "The Chief" does come up with sumthin good. Yesterday he sent me this novel idea the Danes have come up with fer Traffic Control. **Sigh**, I shoulda stayed on the Police Force.

PARTIAL NUDITY AHEAD!!

_________________________________________

AN IRISH GHOST STORY (To get you warmed up for March 17.)

This story happened a while ago in Dublin, and even though it sounds like
an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road
hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he
could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped.

John , desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the
car and closed the door.... Only to realize there was nobody behind the
wheel and the engine wasn't on. The car started moving slowly. John
looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started
to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a
hand appeared out of nowhere through the window, and turned the wheel.
John , paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand came through the
window, but never touched or harmed him.

Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road,
so, gathering strength; he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and
out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the
horrible experience he had just had.

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying... And
wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark
and stormy night. They, like John , were also soaked and out of breath.
Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to
the other....

Look Paddy....there's that fooking idiot that got in the car while we
was pushing it!!!!'
___________________________________

José and Carlos are beggars.

They beg in different areas of town.

Carlos begs for the same amount of time as José, but collects only about $8.00 or $9.00 a day.

José brings home a suitcase full of ten-dollar bills every day. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has a lot of money to spend.

"Hey, amigo," Carlos says to José, "I work just as long and hard as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day?

José says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?"

Carlos reads his sign: "I have no work, a wife and six kids to support." "What's wrong with that?" Carlos asks him.

"No wonder you only get $8.00 or $9.00 a day!" says José.

Carlos says, "All right, what is on your sign?"

José shows him:

_____________________________________

G-D, I hope I never get this bad.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

_______________________________________

Hmmm, think I'll make this fer din-din t'night! Latest news from Libya.

2011-03-07T11:00:00.009-05:00

Well Sir, here be a dish Cookie has never made so I think I'll be doing this fer dinner tonight or t'morrow.

__________________________________

Latest news from Libya

Subject: Latest news from Libya

نور اگر رفت سایه پیدا نیست نقش دیوار و چشم خیره ما نقش سایه دگر نمی دان نور اگر رفت سایه. ر رفت سایه پیدا نیست نقش دیوار و چشم خیره ما نقش سایه دگر نمی دان نور اگر رفت سایه پیدا نیست نقش دیوار و چشم خیره ما

If I hear anything else, You'll be the first to know!
____________________________________________

A guy named Jim McBride walks into a bar in Kentucky and orders a white wine.

All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north.

The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

The guy says, "No, I'm from Seattle ."

The bartender says, "What do you do in Seattle ?"

The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in tarnation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"

"No", says the man "A taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."

The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us."
____________________________________

A call to the Sportsman's' Hotline:

Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway, last night about midnight I hid in the boatshed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?
____________________________________

Gotta Thanks "Fish" frum Kentucky and my old Seabee buddy "FishinMagician" fer those two jokes.
___________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Dapper Dan" said; "Great jokes today, Cookie. And that bacon carbonara sounds and looks delicious...I gotta try that too. I just subscribed to that guys channel on my YouTube account. Thanks for that link, even though I'll probably put on ten more pounds!"

COOKIE said; If'n ya put on ten more pounds mate, yur gonna wind up look'n like Cookie.

Sunday. A great post and "The Ultimate Cruise!"

2011-03-05T10:24:00.037-05:00

My "buddy" "the Chief" recently busted Cookie's nuts (after I nicely asked him not to BTW) by posting a certain photygraff in one of his recent posts. Since he doesn't want to play nice, and I'm sure he knows there will always be payback from Cookie, I thought I'd share a personal and private story he confided in me some time back about.....

My first Condom by "The Mohawk Chieftain"

"I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16. I went in to buy a packet of
condoms at Bolger's pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a
store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there
was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Dolores) knew what they were
for.

She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was
really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked
if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No, not really.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She
cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure

I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see
if it were empty. It was. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door and
locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse
and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?'
She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth
open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was
slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a
desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer
hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. "Did you put that condom on Chief?" she
asked. I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

Then she beat the shit out of me....

Women have always been hard for me to understand."

_____________________________________

WOW!! My wife and I have been very fortunate over the years to be able to take several cruises to various places on the planet, Alaska, East and West Caribbean, Hawaii, Mexico to name a few, but this...

is without a doubt THE ABSOLUTE ULTIMATE CRUISE fer this old Sailor and his wife!!

...and it's very affordable. I'm sure there are quite a few of y'all who'd absolutely enjoy the hell outta this cruise, especially all you old Gyrene's, Seabee's and just about any old Military folks!! Bring the kids, they'd have one hell of a time also.

Sponsored by "Somali Coast Adventures"

Seriously! Check it out!!
______________________________________

My friend Richard from Kentucky sent me this and I really liked it. It sums up quite a few of my feelings regarding the present state of our country.

THE FORGOTTEN MAN. by Jon McNaughton.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KGlBHyVeYU

___________________________________

Raed the Signs and follow directions;

Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
_____________________________________

Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in honor of Obama.

It will be named the “Union Worker”.

It doesn’t work and you can’t fire it.

Gotta Thank Patrick fer that one.
_______________________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Dapper Dan" said; "Re the Chief's incident: They say experience is the best teacher!
The piece on the artist is fascinating and the painting captures what most of us feel about the lunkhead in office now.
The one about the signs reminded me of a story about the college where I worked for many years. The prez was an animal lover and any stray dog who came on campus was welcomed with food, shelter, etc. Naturally, the dogs stayed. They (about 5 or 6 of them) liked to roam around all over campus but their homebase was the student center/cafeteria. They got to be a nuisance around the food, etc. and after awhile someone complained to the health dept. After that a sign was put up at the cafeteria door which read, "Dogs: Keep Out of Cafeteria!" I guess the thinking was that these were college dogs."

COOKIE said; No offense meant Dan but that is the kind of thing I have come to expect out of academia.

"Dapper Dan" said; "No offense taken, Cookie. I definitely agree."

"The Chief" said; "I can't understand why you keep tellin' folks about my life experiences. I couldn't help it that the condom was too damned small. If the clerk had read the disclaimer, she'd have seen that it said "For Naval personnel use, only. Size: Teenie-Weinie".

COOKIE said; Ahhhem. I guess you fergot mate that the Marine Corps is part of the Navy Department making you (and your ilk) "Naval Personnel", and I don't think it was the condom that "was too damned small".

Saturday.....a couple of important heads ups, and some funnies.

2011-03-04T16:29:00.027-05:00

BOHICA!!! Fucking Pelosi and crew!! Wait'll y'all watch this!!

Please sign Congresswoman Bachmann's petition to defund this theft of our money!

BTW, fer those of ya not in the know, BOHICA is an old Military acronym for "BEND OVER HERE IT COMES AGAIN!"
______________________________________________

From time to time, this old warrior has to go down to the VA Hospital in Syracuse and receive various treatment(s). As of these past few years whereas I used to see WWII, Korean War and Vietnam vets in the waiting room also there for their treatments, I increasingly see so many young disabled Vets from the Gulf War(s), Iraq and Afghanistan, most with missing limbs. Sad.

Yesterday, while visiting two feller bloggers, "SubVet" and "Dapper Dan", I was made aware of something new that our illustrious(and useless) politicians are considering and that is making our service personnel pay more for their health care. BULLSHIT! They get ALL their Health Care and that of their family's paid on our dime!!

Our military folks have paid a high enough price for defending our country. Please take a moment and visit "SubVet" to get further details. He has a great suggestion at the end of his post.

___________________________________

OK, On a much lighter note, take a gander at this facebook entry. **Click To Enlarge** to read second entry.

You need to read the messages below the photo.

...and my neighbor Cletus learned that too much beer makes yur penis fall off!

_____________________________________

The Montana Rancher.

The Montana Department of Labor claimed a small Victor Rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.

Mt. Govt agent: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.

Rancher: Well, there's my first hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

Then there's the mentally challenged worker. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.

Mt. Govt agent: That's the guy I want to talk to...the mentally challenged one.

Rancher: That would be me.
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Out of the mouths of babes....

I was eating lunch today with my 14 year old grandson when his mom asked him "What is tomorrow?"

He said "It's President's Day"

She asked "What does that mean?" .... I was waiting for something profound...

He said "President's Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment."
____________________________________

Saved the best for last, THE COWBOY CODE of HONOR! Thanks to The Cumberland Post.

1. Live each day with courage.
2. Take pride in your work.
3. Always finish what you start.
4. Do what has to be done.
5. Be tough but fair.
6. When you make a promise, keep it.
7. Ride for the brand.
8. Talk less and say more.
9. Remember that some things aren't for sale.
10. Know where to draw the line.

______________________________________

COMMENTS:

"SubVet" said; "Hey Cookie, thanks for the referral. Great post too."

"Dapper Dan" said; "Thanks for the link, Cookie. The $105 billion Bachman is talking about was probably buried in some obscure part of the 2000 page monstrosity of a bill that no one read.
Maybe that girl in the picture needs to be connected to that guy who drank too much beer--I'm thinking there could be some kind of surgery that would make them both happy and...that guy could keep on chugging his beer.
Great jokes. Got a kick out of that one where the little boy surprises with his line about Obama. Out of the mouths of babes..."

Some cop humor, and a blonde joke.

2011-03-03T16:24:00.007-05:00

Gotta give a big THANKS to "Charlie The Cop" from Chicago fer sending me this one.

Having been in Law Enforcement for 21 years I've seen first hand the horrible job Corrections Officers have in prisons and jails throughout this country, and you couldn't get me to do this job for any amount of money. Here be some Corrections Officer humor.

"The CO Song"

BLUtube is powered by PoliceOne.com
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A blonde joke!

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COMMENTS:

Dapper Dane said; "Cookie, I'm with you. I wouldn't want that CO job for any amount of money. Those are the government workers that ought to be getting a raise!
That Kelly Pickler clip is really funny. I sometimes wonder though if she's not smarter than we think. She's playing dumb blond role to perfection and it's giving her a fat bank account."

Tuesday ....

2011-03-01T10:32:00.008-05:00

I was just over at "The Chief's" blog and part of his post was about the movie "Cat Ballou", and it reminded me of a song I've always liked from that movie, "I was born under a wander'n star", sung by (of all people) Lee Marvin. Here t'is....

_____________________________________

...and a tribute to recently departed Jane Russell. "Bottons and Bows".

_______________________________________

COMMENTS:

"SigBoy40" said; "Cookie,
I believe that 'Wandrin' Star' was from Paint Your Wagon. It was required viewing growing up in my Fathers house. So much so that had signs made up for hunting camp, It said "No Name City, Pop. Hunting"

COOKIE; Yupper, I stand corrected. It was "Paint Your Wagon".

"SoCalPal" said; "Cookie: It you get a chance rent or borrow of Paint Your Wagon, it's Lee Marvin at his irascible best. Great movie, especially Lee's line at the start of the show when Lee discovers a wagon that had fallen off a cliff:
Settler in Wagon Train to Lee: 'Are they dead?'
Lee's responce to Settler: "Well they'd better be cause I'm a burying them!"
Classic Lee Marvin.....What a talent he was and a Marine to boot."

Dapper Dan said; "Sorry I haven't stopped by lately, Cookie, been a little busy. Looks like this was the right time though. That Lee Marvin clip is outstanding. And Jane Russell. What a beauty. I liked Marilyn okay back in my teen years in the '50s but she had a soft kind of beauty. I always preferred Russell's edgier, sultrier(?) appeal. Russell and Katy Juardo (remember her?), another brunette, were at the top of my list.

The Chief said; "If something ain't true, hell... just make it up! Shame on you. Next thing I know, you're gonna post a video of Lee Marvin singing that old standard: "Bubblhead Blues". ;)

Duty, Honor, Country. BETRAYAL!

2011-02-16T09:09:00.014-05:00

"Duty, Honor, Country. BETRAYAL!

Over the years as a Police Officer Cookie has met this type of self important, politically connected, unbelievably arrogant, deceitful persons this video talks about, like the woman who put her hand over the camera lens, who, for the sake of making high profits and/or getting these homeless Vets out of public sight would screw the homeless person(s)/or Vets.

Usually, whenever I received a call like this, upon my arrival these assholes would assume that I and my partner where automatically on their side and would do their bidding. They would ORDER you to do whatever they wanted you to do, you know the line(s), "I'm a very good friend of so and so (usually the Mayor or Police Chief)" and "I pay your salary so do your job and get these dregs of society out of my sight." Their arrogance and "better than thou" attitudes were sickening. Upon refusing to do their commands they were initially incredulous and shocked. Then the next lines were something like "Do you know who I am?", or "I'll have your badge" or "when I get done with you you'll be walking a beat for the rest of your career." (BTW, walking a beat was actually some of the best duty you could get. In some later post I'll splain that.)

Now Sir, Cookie had an old trick which, if they and their superior attitude pissed me off enough (and they usually did), I would use this trick which would always result in the asshole, man or woman, being arrested for assaulting a Police Officer. It was important to have plenty of other witness's who would testify as to what they saw.

Here's how it worked. It would first be necessary for the situation to escalate to a point where the complainant(the asshole) would become furious with me or my partner for not doing their bidding. We would accomplish this by being very calm, firm and "matter of fact" ourselves and simply refusing to do what they wanted. This type of person hates it when that non-compliance button is pushed. It really boo boo'd their immense egos.

Now, remember, it's necessary to have several witness's around the both of you. In 9 out of 10 cases, the arrogant prick would eventually move in close and get in your face, and this is exactly what you wanted. Here you are, being calm and professional while "dog breath" is getting madder and madder. What the crowd can't see because they are looking at your faces is that you have just discretely stepped on and put all your 230 pounds of weight painfully on the persons instep. At this point the asshole will naturally try to back up and get his/her foot out from under my foot, BUT can't move because of my weight. This attempted backward movement on their part will always result in the person losing their balance and to regain their balance, they will flail one or both arms.

Now, what does that quick movement look like to all the witnesses? It looks like the person just took a swing at the Officer. Ahhhh HA! "Attempted Assualt on a Police Officer!" You are under arrest asshole. You have the right to .......yada yada yada!"
"Now fer all you witnesses, I'm going to need your names and get statements as to the fact that you saw him/her swing at me....."

"I loved it when that plan came together!" BTW, it wasn't important whether you won or lost the case in court, the important thing was that you put the egotistical, arrogant, self rightious prick through the humiliating booking procedure (bend over and spread em asshole). Then because it was an assualt on a Police Officer, they would have to spend some time on "the duece" (the second floor of the jail) before they could be bailed out. "The Duece" was a noisy, smelly, insane place where all new arrests were sent to. Many were drunks or druggies, some in withdrawl so they were vomiting and combative and such. This experience usually scared the living you know what out Mr. or Mrs. "Do you know who I am?"

God I miss the good old days!
____________________________________

BLUE BIRD OF HAPPINESS, MY ASS!

It's Friggin' Freezing. There's snow up my ass, all the food's covered with

3 feet of this white shit, and you want ME to sing?

What?? Anne Murray's "Snowbird"? Kiss off!!

By the way, I'm actually brown in color but I'm blue from the freaking cold!

Next year, I'm flyin' to Jamaica, and smoke dope!!
____________________________________

**Sigh**, This is so sad, a feller blogger and old military man frum out Illinois way sent this poem he wrote regard'n his....ahhh.. problem.

"I have outlived my pecker."

The Penis Poem

My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the f***in' thing.

It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!
______________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Sig 94" said; "Ahh yes, but I'd aim for the little pinkie toe and his neighbors.
This little piggie went waah waah waah all the way to booking."

COOKIE; I suppose the littel pinky would work just as well. We all had our own style right Sig? I truly took great enjoyment at watching these "Do you know who I am people?" be strip searched, with an anal cavity inspection, and then lumped in with some real dreggs and assholes of society. It was beyond their eggotistical, selfish and arrogant minds to comprehend that it was actually happening to them!!

Wednesday Wanks

2011-02-07T15:31:00.013-05:00

My neighbor shared the following story with me the other day about sumthin that happened to him last summer.

Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a very dry martini along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.

This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I
said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"

And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."

I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."

And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".

I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"

He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Señor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn…
_________________________________

________________________________

Here be a little sumthin different fer Y'all.

__________________________________

Golf is easy!

_________________________________

Unbelievable!! This is our illustrious Senator frum New York, liberal Chuck Schumer. He has no idea what the three branches of government are. He says at 1:38 into the video that the three branches are the HOUSE, SENATE and WHITE HOUSE....WTF!!??

___________________________________

"Dapper Dan" said; "Cookie, That "Jesus" one's a keeper. Joyce got a kick out of it, too. And that deer/dog video is unbelievable. I'll be forwarding that one on to my youngest grandson."

Tuesday Tidbits.

2011-02-07T11:43:00.011-05:00

Some motivational posters fer ya.

__________________________________

Two couples were playing poker one evening.

Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When
He bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue
wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying
to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.
Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you
like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed
he did.

She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you
$50. 'After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of
this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons
and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday
afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house
at 2 p.m. sharp - and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $50 - they went to
the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.

Jim quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bob came home from
work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by
the house this afternoon?'

With a lump in her throat Sue answered 'Why yes, he did
stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.'

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly
asked, 'And did he give you $50?'

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes,
in fact he did give me $50.'

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife
by saying, 'He came by the office this morning and borrowed $50 from me.
He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me
back.'

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player

Gotta THANK; "Charlie the Cop" fer that one.
_______________________________________

First grade assignment: Draw what your mother does for a living.

First Grade Drawing - PRICELESS!

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for her homework assignment.

The teacher graded it and the child brought it home.

She returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration.
It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male

customers with money.
I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.

This drawing is of me selling a shovel.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Harrington

THANKS "SUBVET"

________________________________________

...and before there was "RADAR", we had these.

______________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Dapper Dan" said; "Great funnies this morning, Cookie! I really like that "poker" joke and if I can remember it, will tell it to a friend of mine (he loves to play poker) the next time I see him. Those photos at the end of the post are wild. All of them seem to be designed to physically enhance a sentry's hearing capabilities."

Monday madness.

2011-02-06T20:11:00.009-05:00

__________________________________

Just take 5 minutes and watch this video. This professor really puts things in proper perspective.

_____________________________________

____________________________________

A new Speed Control device. Love it!

___________________________________

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug.

Do you want a bed near the window?"
__________________________________________

COMMENTS:

"The Chief" said; "Did you go to your class reunion? Or was it a family reunion?"

"Dapper Dan" said; "I just got time to listen to the Patriot prof's comments on Obama's suit against the state of Arizona and it's strong immigration law. A powerful message, forcefully delivered. I may have to steal this one Cookie, with a link of course!"

Sunday Sundries. UPDATE!

2011-02-05T16:39:00.014-05:00

Well Sir, here be a couple of pix of "The Chief", a dyed in the wool, staunch "cheesehead" Packers fan. We generally don't agree with each other too much (thats what makes it interesting), but on this point, we are both Packers fans.

________________________________

S'more photygraffs of the Wal-Martians. Hope these don't ruin yur Sunday dinners!

Holy Cow! She's got another ass in front!

Hey! Lets have a picnic!

______________________________________

Mens version of "The Antiques Road Show".

__________________________________________

Mens first sexual experience.

Try this: Pretend there are two dice on your computer keyboard.

Got the picture?

Good.

Now, pick up one of them and imagine you see the spots.

What number is it?

Did the number remind you of your first sexual experience?

No, probably not.

Now put down that die and pick up the other one and look at the spots.

How many do you see?

What's the number?

Did THAT make you think of your first sexual experience?

I suppose it didn't.

Now pick up both the dice and shake them in your hand.

Are you shaking them?

Good.

I bet THAT reminds you of your first sexual experience!
____________________________________

"Right" vs "Left"

Finally an answer that makes sense.

I have often wondered why the conservatives are called the "right" and the liberals are called the "left." By chance, I stumbled upon this verse in the Bible:

Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV) "The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left ."

Hmmm, I guess that sums it up pretty well...

YOU CAN'T HAVE A BETTER REFERENCE SOURCE THAN STRAIGHT TEXT FROM THE BIBLE!
______________________________________

Just one Kiss before you jump!

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, she does.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
_________________________________

COMMENTS:

Vigilis said; "Cookie, are these Wal Marts supposed to be in the U.S.?

I am fairly certain the women in some of these photos could be detained by authorities for exposures like that in any of the 4 closest Wal Marts around here."

Dapper Dan said; "Have a super Sunday, Cookie. Boy, those Wal Martians do look a little like aliens, don't they?
Re: why Left is used to refer to a cetain group in politics. Found this online somewhere; I think it explains a lot of the left's philosophies:
In some cultures it is impolite to touch your food with your left hand for the simple reason that you use your right hand for clean tasks such as eating and the left hand for unclean tasks such as wiping yourself after going to the bathroom.

"The Chief said; "I don't think it was very nice of you... putting my cheesy pics up there with all them fat chicks. How could you be sooooo cruel?"

COOKIE said; Very easily.

Hmmm, I never knew this!

2011-02-02T22:22:00.010-05:00

The REAL "Rambo".

_______________________________________

Ya gotta watch our fer them thar foreign statue's.

________________________________________

The new "Parental Control" system fer those of you have young kids or curious teens.

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With all the snowy and cold weather we've been have'n, here's one woman's "secret"!!

__________________________________________

Hmmmm, after watch'n this, I guess I'll have to re-evaluate just what I am.....

ADULT CONTENT AHEAD!!

____________________________________

....and in closing....

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from
His body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck're ya doing, Billy Bob?"

"Good Lord, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an
Obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. "Me 'n the Ol' Lady been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."

[ Now don't make me come splain this to you! Read the last line again, slowly.]
___________________________________

COMMENTS:

Dapper Dan said; "Finally a parental control that means business! That Lesbian/Cowboy video was great and I'm still laughing about old Billy Bob's slight hearing problem. At least it was a John Deere instead of one of those Kobutas."

Truth be told.....Weather UPDATE!

2011-02-02T10:57:00.008-05:00

"Biggest storm of the year", was, at least fer us lucky folks here in Upstate, NY a....

DUD!!!

Went t'bed around 1 AM and it was in fact start'n to snow & blow pretty hard, but upon get'n up this morn found almost no snow or ice accumulation. HOOOORAH!! We dodged one....at least fer now!
________________________________________

What's really behind this Time Magazine cover.....

Hat Tip: The Cumberland Post.
____________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Dapper Dan" said; "Cookie, Thanks for the hat tip. The original cover is disgusting to me but the behind the scenes take on it made me feel a lot better! Stay warm up there in the frozen north buddy."

"Sig" said; "Same here Cookie. After all the hype I felt like climbing up on the roof and yelling, "Is that the best ya got?!"

Wednesday Wanks.

2011-02-01T18:57:00.017-05:00

Hmmm, we here in Upstate NY got the exact same Weather Alert this morning.

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DAMN! I just looked outside this morning, grabbed my digital camera and took a photygraff, and here be what it looks like....

__________________________________

Here's your "Hippy-Dippy Weather Man's" Forecast.

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Commercials just keep get'n better & better....

Thanks "Chief"!!

_______________________________

Hmmmm, most interesting UFO footage over Jeruselem ?? Not a Joke. What's your take?

"Initially Jerusalemites didn't consider it strange, but soon the shining ball started moving over the old city and the Western Wall and especially over the Temple Mount. Suddenly it descended and stopped over the Western Wall / Temple Mount. "It was like the ball stopped at the Western Wall, left a prayer note there and returned to the skies", a witness said."

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For all you golf fans

A man entered the bus with both of his trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'Its golf balls'.

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.

After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked,

'Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?'
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Well Sir, this here video is make'n the rounds on the net yesterday & today, so if'n y'all haven't seen it yet, here t'is. Again, No Joke!

Planned Parenthood Exposed.

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Confusion in the Military!!

Well, Obama recently signed the bill that allows gays to serve openly
in the Military,

No more don't ask don't tell.

But what has he really done, but cause more confusion in the ranks.

Just for a moment, imagine yourself in a combat situation.

The enemy is firing at you, rapidly advancing on your position,

The guy next to you is openly gay.

Suddenly, someone yells out

"Shoot the cocksucker!"

Now do you see the confusion?
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COMMENTS:

SoCalPal said; "As usual Cookie...You have sooo many items worthy of comment but I'll limit myself to one, Planned Parenthood. What a 'sub-human' organization they really are with their 'Final Solution' platform!

I'm not sure which I find more disturbing.... Planned Parenthood's barbaric attitude toward life or the fact that so many misguided souls financialy support them."

"The Chief" said; "Instead of Planned Parenthood, we oughta just squirt some Crazy Glue on the insides of women's thighs and press 'em together. Overpopulation problem solved. Next?"

Cookie said; and I'll bet you wanna be the one doin the squirt'n!

A small request fer Y'all! Second Tuesday post.

2011-02-01T10:22:00.023-05:00

Hey Mates! I just learned sumthin bout an old blogging buddy of mine, "Dapper Dan" who is the purveyor of "The Cumberland Post". Recently, his wife Joyce underwent major surgery for cancer and has just started Chemo-Therapy treatments. I know we all would appreciate it if'n those who are inclined, would say a few prayers for her safe and full recovery from this scourge of the 20th/21st century.

I'm sure Dan and Joyce would also enjoy it if'n ya stopped by his blog ever now and agin and said Hey! BTW, Dan is a retired college professor and, most importantly, a "Recovering Liberal", having stopped drinking that brand of "cool-aid" back in "02". BTW "Dan", if'n I haven't said it afore, welcome to the Light mate!

Sadly, another friend of mine, Liz, who resides out in Jesse James's old stompin grounds out in Missourri has also just begun Chemo. Cookie would really appreciate it if y'all could find a moment to pray fer both of these two good folks and their loved ones!

THANKS MATES!!
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I've always believed that "Laughter is one of the Best Medicines", and that's just one of several reasons why I try to post humor on this blog as much as possible. Just watching the evening news can depress the live'n hell outta ya, let alone all the various other blogs that post nuthin but politics and world events all day long. Sure, it's good to keep abreast of current events and situations, BUT DON'T MAKE IT A STEADY DIET!

Nuff Said!
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Well Sir, like Obama said during his campaign, I guess this Cookie is gonna"cling to my guns and religion!"

Some motivational posters that'll give ya some food fer thought..

___________________________

...and my buddy "The Chief", who's an avid, dyed in the wool Packers fan just sent me this jewel!

A Green Bay Packers Fan baby

A Green Bay Packers Fan is drinking in a Chicago bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has produced a typical Green Bay baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Packer Fan just shrugs, "That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical Green Bay baby boy.

Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW!". One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical Green Bay baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So how much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."

The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a little suspicious.
"What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"

The Green Bay father takes a slow swig from his Leinenkugel's beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,

"...Had him circumcised!"

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COMMENTS:

"The Chief" said; "I love visiting a class blog. But, are you sure... you're not a Pittsburgh Stealers' fan?"

Cookie said; "Nope. As much as it pains me to side with you about anything **sigh**, I'm a Packers fan."

"Chief" said; "I kinda figured you might jump on our wagon, so we put on some heavy duty springs. Now, we gotta get one of those lifts, to help you aboard...!"

Cookie; "Actually, been on that wagon for a great many years." If' I had known you where on it also, I probably woulda gone over to the Steelers just to be contrare."

"Dapper Dan" said; "Cookie, Joyce and I both thank you and your blogging mates for your prayers. She's got a long road ahead but is one tough lady with a strong will. We have faith that she's going to lick this thing. Thanks also for the link to the Cumberland Post. I really like all these anti gun control pics in today's post and I just might borrow one or two, but I'll be sure to tell where I found them. Thanks again."

Cookie; You are most welcome Dan and may God speed Joyce in her recovery!

Tuesday Tidbits.

2011-01-31T13:17:00.016-05:00

The Italian Virginity Test!

Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin. She says she is.

His doctor says, "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit - A small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."

Mario asks, "And what do I do with these things, doc?"

The doctor replies, "Before you climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue.

If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen!',

....you hit her with the shovel....then bury her with it!
_______________________________

Ahhh, No Comment. I'll leave that up to Y'all!

...and the customers respond.....

VERY STRONG LANGUAGE AHEAD!!

...and speak'n of fried chicken....

Little Johnny was asked what his favorite animal was....

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.

I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children.

So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Guess where I am now...???
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Darwin Award Nominees:

Directly below is an accumulation of the best Darwin Award nominees and the astoundingly stupid things they did to remove themselves from the human gene pool to earn a mention on this ignominious list.

Go ahead, feel good about yourself again -- read the list:

Nominee No. 1: from San Jose Mercury News:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girl friend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: from Kalamazoo Gazette:
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo , Michigan, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck". Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft".

Nominee No. 3: from Hickory Daily Record:
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, North Carolina. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

Nominee No. 4: from UPI, Toronto, Canada:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

Nominee No. 5: from The News of the Weird:
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina 's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

Nominee No. 6: from The Indianapolis Star:
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed when the weapon discharged in his face, said sheriff's investigators. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

Nominee No. 7: from Reuters , Mississauga , Ontario:
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. "Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer, of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said
.
Finally, the misnomered WINNER!!!: from Arkansas Democrat Gazette:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole 's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.

The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge .

After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.

Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole 's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?

(Note: Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.)

Now, don't you feel better about yourself?
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COMMENTS:

"Dapper Dan" said; "Cookie, is that how Mario became Super Mario? Great Darwin stories all. But that winner, I'm still LMAO here."

Monday Mix.

2011-01-30T15:10:00.014-05:00

Now Sir, one a these here photygraffs is of a fine character actor named Pat Hingle, the other is of a cantankerous old Gyrene called "The Chief". Can ya spot who's who?

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Just a mix of photygraffs I found lay'n around in Que....

"OK, smile kids! We're now RICH!!!"

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Yup! Ya can take em out...but ya cain't dress em up! Learn how t'button yur coat asshat!! You dress almost as bad as yur wife!

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Well Sir, that old scoundrel "The Chief" somehow got a hold of a photygraff of Cookie's long lost brother, "CupCake". Here t'is...

P.S., He was the one born with brains....I got the looks!
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COMMENTS:

"The Chief" said; "Well, I guess the good thing is... he's your brother. I was afraid some mad scientist had actually cloned you! Phew! That would have been a real nightmare! Oh, and comparing me with Pat Hingle was a low blow... even for you."

Stop putting birdseed in the bird feeder!! Update!

2011-01-26T11:35:00.007-05:00

But first this UPDATE! Womenfolk are never satisfied with our efforts!!

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In the past I posted a short story about a man, who, at the urging of his wife (who was a Democrat BTW) put up a bird feeder on his patio/deck. Shortly, every type of bird in the area was frequenting the feeder all day long. As this avian patronage of the feeder continued, the area around the feeder became messy with spilt bird seed, and shortly thereafter, tons of "bird-shit". There was bird shit all over the patio/deck, the outside chairs and table and the sliding glass doors. It was not safe to enjoy the area because folks, and their food and drinks were being pooped on while trying relax outside and enjoy the day.

Eventually the neighborhood cats learned of this smorgasbord of fresh birdies and the deck became even more fouled with dead birds and feathers, and occasionally some cat shit.

Flummoxed, the man asked his neighbor what he should do to correct the problem. The neighbor answered "Stop Feeding The Birds Stupid!"

This short 3 minute video gives you an idea of the Health Care costs regarding illegal aliens...and this is just ONE hospital!!

To all our Congressmen/Congresswomen, STOP FEEDING THE DAMNED BIRDS STUPID!!, or we'll stop feeding y'all.

Comments:

"SoCalPal" said; "It was on the News yesterday that the County of Los Angeles spent 1.6 Billion dollars in 2010 on illegal aliens in their area (and this is after all the 'benefits' provided by the illegals are factored in). This amount does NOT included the cost of education of these people. The County of Los Angeles is officialy bankrupt as is the State of California.
When legal citizens demand the removal of illegals to their home country, they are instantly labeled 'racists' and completely ignored. California has been completely overwhelmed by the flood of illegals. This flood of 'invaders' is strongly endorsed by the Democrat Party, the Catholic Church, the News Media, the Public School System and Big Business!"

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Well Sir, now this removal method be different!

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PotPourri....

2011-01-25T12:32:00.010-05:00

Proof that Men Have Better Friends...

Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he
told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
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OK ladies, here's a solution fer ya if'n yur think'n about get'n implants.

________________________________

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A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..'

The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'

The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.'

The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'

The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."
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Did any of you know this??

Ever since learning that the purveyors of "Snopes" lean left and tend to slant their articles that way, I stopped using them and now use another site, "TruthorFiction", and below is yet another reason why. I first checked this story on Snopes and they labeled it as "Undetermined" and have been investigating its legitimacy since February 2010 (almost a year). The "TruthorFiction" site has this story as TRUE.

It really breaks my heart to know that we didn't know this goes on every Friday, well at least I didn't know. Instead, I guess the media feels it's more important to report on Hollywood stars as heroes. I hope this article gives you a sense of pride for what our men and women are doing for us, every day, as they serve in the armed forces here and abroad.

THIS HAPPENS EVERY FRIDAY! WERE YOU AWARE?

Friday Mornings at the Pentagon

By JOSEPH L. GALLOWAY
McClatchy Newspapers

Over the last 12 months, 1,042 soldiers, Marines, sailors and Air Force personnel have given their lives in the terrible duty that is war. Thousands more have come home on stretchers, horribly wounded and facing months or years in military hospitals.

This week, I'm turning my space over to a good friend and former roommate, Army Lt. Col. Robert Bateman, who recently completed a year long tour of duty in Iraq and is now back at the Pentagon.

Here's Lt. Col. Bateman's account of a little-known ceremony that fills the halls of the Army corridor of the Pentagon with cheers, applause and many tears every Friday morning. It first appeared on May 17 on the Weblog of media critic and pundit Eric Alterman at the Media Matters for America Website.

"It is 110 yards from the "E" ring to the "A" ring of the Pentagon. This section of the Pentagon is newly renovated; the floors shine, the hallway is broad, and the lighting is bright. At this instant the entire length of the corridor is packed with officers, a few sergeants and some civilians, all crammed tightly three and four deep against the walls. There are thousands here.

This hallway, more than any other, is the `Army' hallway. The G3 offices line one side, G2 the other, G8 is around the corner. All Army. Moderate conversations flow in a low buzz. Friends who may not have seen each other for a few weeks, or a few years, spot each other, cross the way and renew.

Everyone shifts to ensure an open path remains down the center. The air conditioning system was not designed for this press of bodies in this area.

The temperature is rising already. Nobody cares. "10:36 hours: The clapping starts at the E-Ring. That is the outermost of the five rings of the Pentagon and it is closest to the entrance to the building. This clapping is low, sustained, hearty. It is applause with a deep emotion behind it as it moves forward in a wave down the length of the hallway.

"A steady rolling wave of sound it is, moving at the pace of the soldier in the wheelchair who marks the forward edge with his presence. He is the first. He is missing the greater part of one leg, and some of his wounds are still suppurating. By his age I expect that he is a private, or perhaps a private first class.

"Captains, majors, lieutenant colonels and colonels meet his gaze and nod as they applaud, soldier to soldier. Three years ago when I described one of these events, those lining the hallways were somewhat different. The applause a little wilder, perhaps in private guilt for not having shared in the burden ... Yet.

"Now almost everyone lining the hallway is, like the man in the wheelchair, also a combat veteran. This steadies the applause, but I think deepens the sentiment. We have all been there now. The soldier's chair is pushed by, I believe, a full colonel.

"Behind him, and stretching the length from Rings E to A, come more of his peers, each private, corporal, or sergeant assisted as need be by a field grade officer.

"11:00 hours: Twenty-four minutes of steady applause. My hands hurt, and I laugh to myself at how stupid that sounds in my own head. My hands hurt. Please! Shut up and clap. For twenty-four minutes, soldier after soldier has come down this hallway - 20, 25, 30.. Fifty-three legs come with them, and perhaps only 52 hands or arms, but down this hall came 30 solid hearts.

They pass down this corridor of officers and applause, and then meet for a private lunch, at which they are the guests of honor, hosted by the generals. Some are wheeled along. Some insist upon getting out of their chairs, to march as best they can with their chin held up, down this hallway, through this most unique audience. Some are catching handshakes and smiling like a politician at a Fourth of July parade. More than a couple of them seem amazed and are smiling shyly.

"There are families with them as well: the 18-year-old war-bride pushing her 19-year-old husband's wheelchair and not quite understanding why her husband is so affected by this, the boy she grew up with, now a man, who had never shed a tear is crying; the older immigrant Latino parents who have, perhaps more than their wounded mid-20s son, an appreciation for the emotion given on their son's behalf. No man in that hallway, walking or clapping, is ashamed by the silent tears on more than a few cheeks. An Airborne Ranger wipes his eyes only to better see. A couple of the officers in this crowd have themselves been a part of this parade in the past.

These are our men, broken in body they may be, but they are our brothers, and we welcome them home. This parade has gone on, every single Friday, all year long, for more than four years.

"Did any of you know this?
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COMMENTS:

Dan said: "Cookie, I started reading your blog over a year ago and I still check in regularly but I haven't commented lately. The Potpourri was great today. That you tube bit about the new technology actually made my wife and me laugh so hard we cried. I had to steal it for my blog (with a link and a bit about your blog) along with the one you posted a day or two before that about the origin of the Riverdance. Maybe my two or three readers at The Cumberland Post (blogspot) will stop by and check out your place. I don't know how you find all the stuff in your blog, but it's great. Keep it up!"

The First Lady's fashions.

2011-01-25T08:35:00.033-05:00

Well Sir, a lady who does have some class, M.M.Mancuso, sent these here photygraffs of our First Lady's various fashion choices. Now Sir, Cookie is 66 and have been married 45 years and have three daughters, so, I believe I do know a little sumthin bout womens styles and fashion faux pas's, and here be a few.

Walmart comes to The White House.

Okaaay, green outfit, blue shoes and a very noticeable VPL!

No comment necessary.

First Lady of Spain, Princess Letizia, France's First Lady Carla Bruni, and Mrs. "O", ...hmmmm, wunder who's who?

"I wanna look like my pre-teenage daughter" dress....

...and who can ferget "The Black Widow" dress...

The "Honey, do I look like a pinata?" dress.

The Peacock look....

Puleeeeze, give me a break.....

"Woof!"

The "Hey Mr. Chef, can I borrow yur shoes?" dress.

Wunder if'n this is the only belt she owns..?

COMMENTS:

"The Chief Said; "Actually, I feel sorry for the First Lady. She's a pretty BIG girl and I think only a circus tent might help her conceal that...."

...and SoCalPal said: "Fashion?.........damn."

...and Subvet stated; "Could her butt get any bigger? I'll bet when she hauls ass she has to make two trips."

..and Sig said: "I bet she can reverse the Moon in it's orbit with that ass."

Which still begs the question....

2011-01-23T11:58:00.022-05:00

But first, what I think will happen in t'days big game!!

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An article from "The Patriot Update".

Hawaii Gov Waffles on Obama’s Birth Certificate
January 22, 2011

A privacy law that shields birth certificates has prompted Democratic Gov. Neil Abercrombie to abandon efforts to dispel claims that President Obama was born outside Hawaii, his office says.

State Attorney General David Louie told the governor that privacy laws bar him from disclosing an individual’s birth documentation without the person’s consent, Abercrombie spokeswoman Donalyn Dela Cruz said Friday.

“There is nothing more that Gov. Abercrombie can do within the law to produce a document,” said Dela Cruz. “Unfortunately, there are conspirators who will continue to question the citizenship of our president.”

Abercrombie, who was a friend of Obama’s parents and knew him as a child, launched an investigation last month into whether he can release more information about the president’s Aug. 4, 1961 birth. The governor said at the time he was bothered by people who questioned Obama’s birthplace for political reasons.

Now Sir, the question still remains, WHY WON'T OBAMA GIVE HIS PERMISSION TO RELEASE THE DAMNED BIRTH CERTIFICATE...FOR PUBLIC VIEWING?

Now Sir, Cookie watches O'Reilly on a somewhat regular basis, and for the most part I tend to believe, and/or agree with most things Bill says, but not always. I consider myself to be an objective person and can usually look at both sides of an issue in an honest and scrutinizing manner. To have been a good detective I needed to have this approach to all cases I investigated. Here is a short 50 second video, one of several, where Bill O'Reilly states that he and others have seen a "a copy" of the long form birth certificate, and it is legal.

For many folks, that comment by O'Reilly settled the matter regarding the validity and existence of Obama's long form Birth Certificate once and for all. Many of my friends and acquaintences remarked things like, "OK whats the next issue?", "Hmmm, well, there must be one cause O'Reilly and Fox News says so!", "Case Closed", etc., etc..

Not so fast mates. As much as I respect Bill O'Reilly, he's still capable of being deceived, or lying, just like anyone else in this world. Personally, I would suspect the former. To get caught in a potential lie this large and nationally damaging would be a career ender for ANYONE (even Bill O'Reilly) who is later shown to be implicit and culpable.

As Joseph Goebbels (Hitlers Propaganda Minister) was alleged to have said, "Tell a big enough lie, long enough, and people will believe it".

So, just what in the hell is Obama's game here?! Over the years I have found that "Where there is smoke...there is fire" to be true more often times than not.

One keeps reading and hearing news stories about Obama having "spent several millions of his own money to keep various school and travel records buried." Lets start with that. First, show us some proof of these expenditures. What are the sources of this info?

Once that is established to be factual, the next obvious question is WHY? IF there even is a BC (and like many, I have had my doubts for some time now), then what is on it that is so damaging that it needs to be hidden?

There is one school of thought making the rounds that several investigative reporters for various media (and others not associated with any media) know for a fact that there is NO BC, but are terrified that should this info become public, there would be a violent revolution in this country. Also, there are folks in high positions who have been aware of a fraud since the beginning and should this break wide open, they, along with Obama would be exposed for having been a part of "a massive fraud and cover-up" perpetrated on the American voter. Many folks would go down on that "ship of the damned".

As an old detective Sergeant, I love a good mystery. I truly wish I had the authority behind me to subpoena, question and warrant, but since I do not, then it would be nice to see Inspector Clouseau, AKA Eric Holder do his job.

Again, leave your comments in the comment section and I will review and post them by hand where appropriate.
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Here's sumthin Y'all need t'know! Now THIS is a gun show!!

2011-01-22T17:29:00.010-05:00

Progressive Insurance (Shoulda guessed this from the name Progressive)

Have you seen and smiled at the Progressive Insurance TV commercials?

Well . . . we all need to know the rest of the story:

You know their TV commercials...they’re the ones featuring the perky actress all dressed in white. What you might not know is that the Chairman of Progressive is Peter Lewis, one of the major funders of leftist causes in America .

Between 2001 and 2003, Lewis funneled $15 million to the ACLU, the group most responsible for destroying what’s left of America’s Judeo-Christian heritage. Lewis also gave $12.5 million to MoveOn.org and American Coming Together, two key propaganda arms of the socialist left.

His funding for these groups was conditional on matching contributions from George Soros, the America-hating socialist who is the chief financier of the Obama political machine.

Lewis made a fortune as a result of capitalism, but now finances a progressive movement that threatens to destroy the American free enterprise system that is targeting television shows on Fox News.

Peter Lewis is making a fortune off of conservative Americans (who buy his auto insurance) so that he can help dismantle the very system that made him wealthy.

Be EDUCATED about who get’s your hard earned dollars!

Let’s STOP funding Progressive campaigns against America!

Peter Lewis; http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/a/aclu-lewis.htm

DO your part and PLEASE pass this information on to your like-minded friends.

I checked this story out on two "Fact or Fiction" sites and found it to be true. Gotta thank "Brownie" frum Oswego, NY fer sending me this.
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Oh, Be still my heart!! God Bless America and the Second Amendment.

From the looks of this video, this is also the site of a future lead mine.
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Verrrry Interesting! From Chinese TV; "UFO contact disclosure coming shortly frum Obama."

2011-01-22T13:13:00.012-05:00

As Arte Johnson frum Laugh-In used to say, "Verrry Interrresting!

Well Sir, I found this article from Chinese National TV stating that in the very near future Obama will begin full disclosure about UFO's and alien contact with earth. My amigo David Brown, a retired HS Biology teacher and an acquaintance of the now deceased famous astronomer Carl Sagan sent it to Cookie.

http://www.examiner.com/exopolitics-in-seattle/chinese-national-tv-reporting-impending-ufo-et-disclosure-by-obama-government

David is an AVID (to say the least) believer in UFO's and alien civilizations. Now, I must admit that I find this topic most interesting and years back, did in fact observe several UFO's in the sky across the lake which I live on, Oneida Lake. There were also many other persons who witnessed, and video taped these anomalies.

Before proceeding further let me state on fact. UFO simply means an "Unidentified Flying Object"! It DOES NOT mean extraterrestrial spacecraft or alien craft. It simply means an object that is not identifiable at that moment. These two terms (UFO and Extraterrestrial Craft) have, over the years become synonymous with one another and that is a mistake.

Since my teen and pre-teen years the UFO topic has fascinated me. I not only subscribe to the MUFON( Mutual UFO Network) Journal to keep abreast of new sightings and information, but also watch all the HISTORY Channel specials regarding "Ancient Aliens" and recent documentaries, HOWEVER, being an old detective, I require concrete and tangible proof of their existence, not just photos (that could be doctored), conjecture and anecdotal accounts (people lie).

The "Drake Equation" would suggest that there are indeed MANY civilizations out there, and when one thinks about it, given the scope and breadth of the Universe, it would egotistical and elitism for mankind to think otherwise.

There is indeed volumes of "circumstantial" evidence to suggest both past and present contact by UFO's and Alien civilizations, but like in a court of Law, one CANNOT be convicted on "circumstantial" evidence ALONE. There must be solid corroborating evidence.

Has there been government(s) coverup over these past 60 years or so since Rosewell, NM, I suspect yes, but again, where is the absolute bedrock evidence. Show me an actual captured extraterrestrial craft I can put my hands on or an Alien body (living or dead), you know, sorta like Obama's Birth Certificate.

So, if there is anything to this Chinese news report, things should get interresting over the next few months. We'll just have to wait and see.

COOKIE'S NOTE: If you have comments you'd like to make, type your comment into the "Comment Section" at the end of each post, and although I CANNOT directly post, edit or manage your comment from that area, I can still see it, and if worthy, I can copy and paste it to the article through my dashboard by hand.

Vigilis Commented:

"Cookie, over 3 decades ago, I had come to a conclusion that disclosure of an alien race would more than likely be used as a "last resort" political tool by unscrupulous leadership to retain power indefinitely and invoke unpopular (and no doubt unconstitutional measures). Also, i am not afraid of aliens and willing to fight for our rights.

In recent years world governments acting in concert through the U.N. have attempted to instill one kind of grim fear after another into the public. You must remember nuclear proliferation in the cold war, the impending Ice Age in the 50s, Global Warming (climate change currently), collapse of the U.S. dollar as the world's most stable currency, bird FLU, swine FLU, and this year's UKF (unnmaed killer flu).

The Chinese story lacks credibility. Many Chinese can speak excellent English, yet where's the translation. Where was the announcement during the recent Chinese state visit?

Now, unless the aliens in question were Harvard professors (quite possible), or were partners in a major law firm, even a 'popular' president like Obama would be out of line inviting them to the White House and trying to get a treaty worked out with them without congressional approval.

If, on the otherhand, Obama received advice from the aliens that the U.S. should disassemble its nuclear weapons, turn its sub fleets into razor blades, open its borders, offer more enitlements, impose stricter environmental regulations, takeover the foreclosed homes to give away as it sees fit, and generally turn us into an East Germany type of regime, I am looking forward to hearing his speech."

____________________________________

"The Deadwood Stage"

2011-01-21T12:42:00.025-05:00

Got a couple a E-mails this morn'n that caught my attention. The first was frum me old blog mate "the Chief" frum out Illinois way and was about Deadwood So. Dakota and Stagecoaches and gold miners from that era.

The real "Calamity Jane" (Martha Jane Cannary Burke).

Hollywood's version of Calamity Jane and "The Deadwood Stage".

Historic photos of the actual "Deadwood Stagecoach", Gold minors, Deadwood So. Dakota itself, Indian fighters etc...

The town of Deadwood So. Dakota.

...and "Comanche", the ONLY survivor from Custers Last Stand.

________________________________________

My good friend Susan Gertson from Eagle Lake, Texas, and also an avid deer hunter herself, sent me this video this morning entitled "Thanks for Waiting". When I watched the short 30 second video I had to immediately respond with an E-mail to her because of something extremely similar that happened to Cookie while deer hunt'n back about 25-30 years ago.

Now Sir, this is the E-mail I sent back to Susan.

"Susan, when I saw this I almost fell outta my chair laughing, tell ya why.

TRUE STORY!! Really. About 30 years or so ago, I was standing in my favorite tree stand down around Cuyler Hill, NY, next to an open field when a doe came out from the woods. I had a "Doe Permit" and was about to take her when she turned around and looked back into the trees. Being an experienced hunter, I knew that this generally indicated that there was a buck back in the trees who had "pushed" her out into the open first (smart old bucks would do this, that's why they managed to get old).

I waited and sure enough this good sized 9 point buck came out and looked around. As I raised my shotgun and took aim at the buck, he mounted her. Now, they were only about 70 yards away and had no idea I was there. Damn!! Being a guy I just couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger while he was "In Flagrante dilecto". I lowered my sights and decided I would wait until he was finished.

I guess I badly misjudged 1) how long it would take him, and 2) I musta thought that after he was finished he woulda sorta stuck around and had a cigarette or two and maybe woulda exchanged phone numbers or something with her. Before I knew it, he not only finished quickly but immediately high tailed it back into the safety of the trees. It was literally "Wham, Bam, Thank You Maam".

I began mentally kicking myself in the ass for have'n been such a nice guy, and I was so pissed off, that I immediately dispatched the doe to my dinner table. Honest to God, true story so when I saw this video it was like "Deja Vue all over again" (as Yogi Berra used to say).

Lessons learned, 1) regarding me, "Nice guys finish last", and 2), regarding the buck, "Some guys finish FAST" (no surprise to women)."
___________________________________

...and "The Chief" commented; "I've been to Deadwood a few times; really do like it out there. The cemetery where Wild Bill Hickock & Calamity Jane lie is dug into a hillside. And, there's a guy named Potato Creek Johnny, who lies right by them. It's really neat. The old HBO tv series "Deadwood" tells the story very well; quite gritty."

Cookie; Unfortunately I missed the entire "Deadwood" series. Would have enjoyed watching that.

This ad went viral.

2011-01-20T23:16:00.002-05:00

My understanding from what I have read is that this ad took off and went viral almost immediately. Hmmm, wonder what that says?

Obama's openly disrespected by Chinese President. A heads up regard'n yur cell phone photo's.

2011-01-18T23:10:00.012-05:00

At the State Dinner that The Obama's held for the Chinese president at The White House, the Obama's (and our country) were openly disrespected by the Chinese President who kept the Obama's waiting. Don't get me wrong, if anyone SHOULD be disrespected it's Obama and ilk, however, this slight also splashed over onto all the rest of us.

There is video of the Obama's being kept waiting but it seems the "Lame-Stream" media are very busy disabling the "embed" codes so the videos can't easily be shown on the blogs (at least at this writing). The best I could find was this link.

Diss? Chinese President Keeps Obamas Waiting at State Dinner.

http://www.westernjournalism.com/diss-chinese-president-keeps-obamas-waiting-at-state-dinner/

___________________________________________

OK, now fer somethin "lighter".... Always enjoyed this one!!

_________________________________________

What John Wayne wanted for his daughter. We lost one hell of a man, a patriot and a hero when "The Duke" passed on.

___________________________________

Gotta give a big old Cookshack THANKS to Richard frum down Kentucky way for making us all aware of this. Your cell phone pix are giving the exact location each photo is taken at, like your home, where your kids are, where ya work, where ya are at any given moment etc..

_____________________________________

Often wundered how the Irish dance got started.....

_________________________________

Hmmm, nice extras...

____________________________________

WOW! This is the best pool shot ever made by a naked white chick.

Failed predictions from the past. Interesting.

2011-01-17T14:28:00.012-05:00

But First.....

How cool is this!!?? The guy that invented this is goin t'be RICH!!

____________________________________

...and second.....

Charlie's wife Lucy had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing itwhile Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament. They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts.

Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her.

Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying,"Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed."
_____________________________________

Failed Predictions.

Not a joke, but somethng to think about when we close our minds to other possibilities.

–> “We will bury you.”
Nikita Krushchev, Soviet Premier, predicting Soviet communism will win over U.S. capitalism, 1958.

–> “Everything that can be invented has been invented.”
Charles H. Duell, an official at the US patent office, 1899.

–> “I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone.”
Charles Darwin, in the foreword to his book, The Origin of Species, 1869.

–> “Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.”
Irving Fisher, economics professor at Yale University, 1929.

–> “If anything remains more or less unchanged, it will be the role of women.”
David Riesman, conservative American social scientist, 1967.

–> “It will be gone by June.”
Variety, passing judgement on rock ‘n roll in 1955.

–> “Democracy will be dead by 1950.”
John Langdon-Davies, A Short History of The Future, 1936.

–> “A short-lived satirical pulp.”
TIME, writing off Mad magazine in 1956.

–> “And for the tourist who really wants to get away from it all, safaris in Vietnam”
Newsweek, predicting popular holidays for the late 1960s.

–> “Four or five frigates will do the business without any military force.” -â€“ British prime minister Lord North, on dealing with the rebellious American colonies, 1774.

–> “In all likelihood world inflation is over.”
International Monetary Fund Ceo, 1959.

–> “This antitrust thing will blow over.”
Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft.

–> “Remote shopping, while entirely feasible, will flop - because women like to get out of the house, like to handle merchandise, like to be able to change their minds.”
TIME, 1966, in one sentence writing off e-commerce long before anyone had ever heard of it.

–> “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist-”
Last words of Gen. John Sedgwick, spoken as he looked out over the parapet at enemy lines during the Battle of Spotsylvania in 1864.

–> “Our country has deliberately undertaken a great social and economic experiment, noble in motive and far reaching in purpose.” -â€“ Herbert Hoover, on Prohibition, 1928.

–> “It will be years - not in my time - before a woman will become Prime Minister.”
Margaret Thatcher, future Prime Minister, October 26th, 1969.

–> “Read my lips: NO NEW TAXES.”
George Bush, 1988.

–> “You will be home before the leaves have fallen from the trees.” Kaiser Wilhelm, to the German troops, August 1914.

–> “This is the second time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honor. I believe it is peace for our time.” Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister, September 30th, 1938.

–> “That virus is a pussycat.” Dr. Peter Duesberg, molecular-biology professor at U.C. Berkeley, on HIV, 1988.

–> “The case is a loser.” Johnnie Cochran, on soon-to-be client O.J.s chances of winning, 1994.

–> “Reagan doesn't have that presidential look.”- United Artists Executive, rejecting Reagan as lead in 1964 film The Best Man.

–> “Capitalist production begets, with the inexorability of a law of nature, its own negation.”
Karl Marx.

–> “Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.”
Grover Cleveland, U.S. President, 1905.

–> “Man will not fly for 50 years.”
Wilbur Wright, American aviation pioneer, to brother Orville, after a disappointing flying experiment, 1901 (their first successful flight was in 1903).

–> “I am tired of all this sort of thing called science here… We have spent millions in that sort of thing for the last few years, and it is time it should be stopped.”
Simon Cameron, U.S. Senator, on the Smithsonian Institute, 1901.

–> “The Americans are good about making fancy cars and refrigerators, but that doesn't mean they are any good at making aircraft. They are bluffing. They are excellent at bluffing.”
Hermann Goering, Commander-in-Chief of the Luftwaffe, 1942.

–> “With over fifteen types of foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn't likely to carve out a big share of the market for itself.”
Business Week, August 2, 1968.

–> “The multitude of books is a great evil. There is no limit to this fever for writing; every one must be an author; some out of vanity, to acquire celebrity and raise up a name, others for the sake of mere gain.”
Martin Luther, German Reformation leader, Table Talk, 1530s(?).

–> “Ours has been the first [expedition], and doubtless to be the last, to visit this profitless locality.”
Lt. Joseph Ives, after visiting the Grand Canyon in 1861.

–> “There is no doubt that the regime of Saddam Hussein possesses weapons of mass destruction. As this operation continues, those weapons will be identified, found, along with the people who have produced them and who guard them.”
General Tommy Franks, March 22nd, 2003.
_________________________________

The most recent list of "The World's Shortest Books"

THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
by Barack Obama
____________________________________________

MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS
by Tiger Woods
____________________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda, Cindy Sheehan, Michelle Obama
Illustrated by Michael Moore
________________________________________

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
& HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA

by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
______________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton
_________________

Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
_________________

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates
___________________________________

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman
_________________________________

THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
by Al Gore & John Kerry
_____________________________________

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
______________________

A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J. Kevorkian
__________________________________

TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED, BEFORE ......
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnell
__________________

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson
__________________________________

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
_______________________________________

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O. J. Simpson
_________________________________________

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
by Ted Kennedy
----------------------------------
BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton
with introduction
by the
Rev. Jesse Jackson

******************************
AND, JUST ADDED:

My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy
by Nancy Pelosi

and,

How to be Financially Responsible
by Barack Obama and the US Congress.
_________________________________________

If'n yur plan'n a trip to Iceland any time soon....

2011-01-17T12:34:00.026-05:00

Well Sir, every day I make it a point to visit another Submariners (Vigilis) blog named "Molten Eagle". His postings are almost always either Submarine or Navy related.

Today however, in a story definitely NOT his usual kind of posting, I found the below story. I'm pretty sure that most of y'all will either have a slight smirk on yur faces as you read this one or be shaking yur head while thinking WTF.

Before I proceed any further, I know fer sure that "The Chief" will absolutely have some ball bust'n comments and opinions regard'n the connection between this rather "unique" museum and "Squids/Bubbleheads". Even though I cannot respond (in the Comment Section), I can still read yur comments and then place them by hand at the end of the post through my dashboard.

Sorry ladies, no pix included in my post but if you hit the link back over the "Molten Eagle" and read the original story, you'll find some photo links.

Organ Donation First-of-a-Kind (at least voluntarily)

An Iceland museum, named the World’s Second Most Horrid, currently displays 209 penises in part or in whole from 46 different animal species in the native section, including 55 whale specimens and 23 specimens from 19 different animal species in the international section.

As tourist attractions go, the Icelandic Phallological [Penis] Museum outranks a mummy museum in Mexico and a museum dedicated to women’s menstruation but does not top the horror of a museum in Pennsylvania which exhibits skulls, skeletons and pictures of deformed people, according to mbl.is. At least not until now...

The museum’s director Sigurdur Hjartarson said, “I have the testicles from one person and the foreskin from another but I’ve been waiting for a perfect specimen for a long time. This is the only thing missing.”

Páll Arason, 95, who 14 years earlier in the interest of advancing advancing phallological knowledge had bequeathed his penis to the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Húsavík, passed away on January 5th.

The museum does not yet have a human specimen, but Araosn's will be the first of four (4) legally-certified gifts of specimens belonging to Homo Sapiens.

Doubt this is a serious museum? Here is a tourist review for you. Visitors can view a 5-1/2-foot tall penis from a sperm whale or a hamster penis of 8/100ths of an inch.

Questions: Is this display the ultimate in exhibitionism? If so, are its patrons really tourists, or are they voyeurs?
____________________________________

Well Sir, I definitely gotta get me both of these new (and unauthorized) Submarine pins. These pins are representations of the much coveted "Dolphins" worn by submariners. They can only be worn by a submariner who has "Qualified" on the boats. During qualification, which can take as long as a year in some cases, the submariner MUST learn every operating system on the entire boat so he (and now she) can do everyone else's job if need be, i.e., a radioman must be able to fire a torpedo, a cook must be able to navigate, etc.,etc..

The first pin is called " a bush" pin. Look closely and you'll see why. The second one which is the one I really must get is "the DBF" pin (Diesel Boats Forever).

The "bush" pin.

The "DBF" pin.

Actual Regulation "Dolphins" insignia.

___________________________________

Those of You Born
1930 - 1979

At the end of this article is a quote of the month by Jay Leno.. If you don't read anything else, Please Read what he Said. Very well stated, Mr. Leno.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!

First, we survived being born to mothers
Who smoked and/or drank while they were
Pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
Tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles,
Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode
Our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats,
No booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.
We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.
And, we weren't overweight.
WHY?

Because we were
Always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
As long as we were back when the
Streetlights came on.

No one was able
To reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
And then ride them down the hill, only to find out
We forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes
a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes.
There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
No video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's,
No cell phones,
No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.
WE HAD REAL LIVE FRIENDS
And we went outside and found them!

When we were outside and did something wrong and got
into trouble, the neighbors would call our parents about what
we had done and Mom and/or Dad would usually be waiting
for us with a "switch" or Dad's belt to administer a spanking.
Although our ass's might be a little red and sore for a day
or so, our feeling and pride were usually hurt more than
the ass whoop'n we'd gotten, but not always. BTW,
they also didn't wind up get'n arrested by the Child
Protection Agency for Administering Corporal Punishment.

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth
And there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,
And the worms did not live in us Forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and,
Although we were told it would happen,
We did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and
Knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just
Walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law
Was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best
Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them?
CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the
lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know
how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?

The quote of the
month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of swine flu and terrorist attacks. Are we sure this is a good time
to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

...and some personal beliefs....

God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person whom you care about.

Father,

God bless my friend in whatever it is that You know they may need this day!
And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity, and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you.
Amen.
_________________________________

...and "The Chief" commented; "gotta admit, that Bush pin made me think of our former president, right off. You guys oughta design one for the present glorious leader: maybe call it the "Nappy". Can I say that?"

Cookie; Actually Chief, I beleive the same "bush" pin would also apply to Obama. A pussy!

the Chief responded (as I knew he would); "And, I'm stil puzzling over why anybody would waste time & effort, either maintaining a museum dedicated to animal dicks, or actually visiting same? I can understand one devoted to animal vaginas... since so many rednecks, mountain folk, New Yawkers and other perverts seem to like 'em, but...? Do they remind some guys of periscopes?"

Monday mania.

2011-01-17T10:05:00.022-05:00

Well Sir, about 20 miles north of where Cookie is sit'n right now there is an area called the "Tug Hill Plateau" up in Oswego County, NY. A New York Times article, "8 days, 10 feet of snow, and NOT done yet!" (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/12/nyregion/12snow.html?_r=1 ), relates what I'm about t'talk about.

The Tug Hill area is nationally known fer its absolutely HUGE quantities of snow that it gets frum "Lake Effect" snow off Lake Ontario. Just ask "Patrick" who was stationed near here back in the day. Sometimes when this happens the roads become completely impassable and supplies haveta be air-lifted into the area. Here be a great example of their #1 priority fer that area.

...and once the beer is air-lifted in and consumed, they've got some time on their hands so why not do some sculpturing.

...and of course usually they lose power so they haveta use their imaginations..

In fact I just got off the phone with a friend who lives up on the Tug Hill. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window.

He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

________________________________

...and speak'n of mania! I don't think I ever would a done this even back in my drink'n days.

...and this is the result of parents having sex when the momma is a pot smoker and the daddy is a drunk.

_______________________________

Sunday

2011-01-16T09:12:00.007-05:00

**Click to Enlarge if'n ya have to.**

__________________________________

Oh Boy! What a great Christmas present!! (3 parts)

_____________________________________

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN, he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is ... You're NOT my flight instructor?'

"Life is short. Drink the good wine first"
__________________________________

An old Irish family Tradition

Paddy, had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.

'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said,

"Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in December, when the Lake is Frozen, and , you were born in August Dip Shit
____________________________________

Saturday sundries

2011-01-14T14:20:00.011-05:00

Gotta get me one of these power tools!

_______________________________

...ahhhh, OK!

_____________________________

TEXAS BEER JOINT SUES CHURCH over LIGHTNING STRIKE

ONLY IN TEXAS ...

Texas Beer Joint Sues Church In Mt. Vernon, Texas

Drummond's Bar began construction on expansion of their building to increase
their business.

In response, the local Baptist church started a campaign to block the
bar from expanding with petitions and prayers.

Work progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when
lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.

After the bar burning to the ground by a lightning strike the church
folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of
prayer", until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the
church" was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building,
either through direct or indirect actions or means".

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all
responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.

The judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's
reply and at the opening hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm
going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that we have a
bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church
congregation that now does not."

**NOTE** Before I get 27 e-mails telling me they "snoped" this story and found it to be false, this is a JOKE story, not true.
___________________________________

Back in the day, when I was in the Navy and considerably younger, I picked up my date at her Parents’ home.

I’d scraped together enough money to take her to a very nice restaurant.

She ordered the most expensive items on the menu. Shrimp cocktail,
Fillet Mignon and whole Lobster. Champagne.

I asked her, “Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?”

“No,” she replied. “but my mother’s not expecting a blow job tonight.”

I said "enjoy"...
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Damn! Hope I never, ever, haveta get married again. "The Entabulator". "I'm a Killer!"

2011-01-13T17:39:00.015-05:00

"Side By Side"......funny.

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WOW! I'm sure our Government would want to invest in this invention, The Entabulator!

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William Shatner's views on gun control.

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I was Confused

I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue ' Service '
U.S. Postal ' Service '
Telephone ' Service '
Cable TV ' Service '
State, City, County & Public ' Service '
Customer ' Service '

This is not what I thought Service meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' all his cows.

BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand how they are "servicing" us.

You are now as enlightened as I am.
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Gotta Thank my buddies "FishinMagician", Ken Blanchard, and my "Cuz", John Coyne fer the above submissions.
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...and my buddy Patrick sent me this good read.

My Name is Betsy. I'm a Killer.
By Betsy M. Galliher

My name is Betsy. I'm a wife and proud soccer mom, a writer, and a small business owner. I'm also a killer.

On the morning of January 8, 2011, I intentionally entered a gathering held by Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and shot her at near-point-blank range. I injured fourteen others, killing six -- among them a beautiful, curious, doe-eyed, nine-year-old girl. I didn't actually pull the trigger, but I'm as guilty as the psychopath who did.

Here are just a few of the charges against me:

I am a conservative.

On occasion, I listen to Beck, Limbaugh, and Fox News.

I've been known to pick up a book or two by conservative authors: Thomas Sowell, Andrew McCarthy, or the Founding Fathers, for example!

I believe that the federal government is too large, far too intrusive, and dangerously powerful.

I believe in personal responsibility and the amazing generosity of Americans to aid those in need rather than permanent entitlements.

I believe that the private, not the public, sector is the backbone of our economy.

I believe that our progressive tax system is punitive. We are over-taxed, over-regulated, and over-lectured.

I believe in the power of the free market to correct itself, without government (taxpayer) intervention.

I believe that the Constitution is intended to limit government and empower the individual.

I believe in holding our elected officials' feet to the fire, be they Republican or Democrat (incendiary pun intended).

I believe that our sovereignty is at risk via unsecured borders, out-of-control spending, our crippling deficit, reckless abuses of the Constitution, and the moral decay of Washington.

In short, I'm a madman. Guilty as charged, and armed with the belief in my 1st-Amendment right to peaceably question those we elect to serve.

The only person who actually pulled the trigger on that terrible, fateful day was Jared Loughner -- by every account, a deeply troubled young man. But the real guilty walk among us: senior citizens in red, white, and blue, armed with signs saying "Taxed Enough Already"; flag-wavers clinging to guns and religion; doctors; the wealthy; business owners; talk radio; and any citizen -- particularly a conservative -- who dares exercise his or her right to free speech.

We're called greedy, stupid, and racist. We're ridiculed with snide "slurpee" innuendos and called lewd and malicious names, such as "teabaggers." Ordinary citizens are maligned by their own government while the pious, liberal elite get a free pass on reason and truth, while Islamists invoke their religious cloak, while the ideologue professes his moral superiority, while the media uses the power of spin, and while leftists, including Robert Gibbs and Barack Obama, employ their bully pulpit.

We defend conservatism by our very way of life: as self-reliant, taxpaying, moral citizens, and as faithful defenders of limited government and the power of the individual. We are violent inciters only insomuch as we threaten the current leftist, agenda-driven stranglehold on government. So alarming is our threat that the real inciters wasted no time in politicizing the tragic deaths of six innocent citizens, not to mention one revered congresswoman still fighting for her life. And they will waste no time in shamelessly exploiting a "crisis" at the hand of a lone psychopath to further enact gun control and squelch freedom of speech under cries of "civility."

Does the left really believe that the "rhetoric" of Palin, Beck, Limbaugh, and Fox is incendiary? Do they fail to understand that the language of conservative "talk" is the echo of ordinary citizens calling for limited government and individual freedoms? Or do they silence us because we know our current leaders don't actually believe in their own limited power? Truth be told, even Jared Loughner undermines their agenda. And they know it. They know that their "transformation" of America is failing and that people like me are not afraid to say so.

My name is Betsy, and I'm a killer. They are determined to stop me before I kill again.

Betsy Galliher.

...and this'll boil yur blood a mite. It should be damned obvious to a person with even HALF A BRAIN (something I doubt that Holder and ilk have) why these Latin American countries are doing this!!

Thanks "Brownie" fer send'n us that.

Breakfast? And, "The Chief" said.....

2011-01-13T09:40:00.006-05:00

Now Sir, I can see a time "back in the day" when I definitely woulda cooked and devoured a breakfast like this. Got a feel'n that "SubVet" and a few other "Blogging Bubbleheads" also woulda partaken of this epicurean delight (or gastrointestinal disaster).

...and SubVet said; "Now THAT is a breakfast! They went kinda "light" on adding the whiskey though. Figured your comments section was still FUBAR so I didn't put anything there."

______________________________

Well Sir, my buddy "The Chief" sent his opinion regarding the recovering Congresswoman. Couldn't agree more!!!

"Shot in the head less than a week ago, U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords opened her eyes briefly for the first time Wednesday, with her husband, her parents and other members of Congress in the room.

And I also heard that Nancy Pelosi was one of those people present when poor Gabby opened her eyes for the first time.

Can you imagine being shot in the head, being unconscious for days, finally opening your eyes and the first thing you see is... Nancy Pelosi?! If it were me, I'd probably assume I'd died and gone to hell. And when I realized I had not, I probably would wish that I had. UGH!"

The voice of Reason and Common Sense.

2011-01-12T12:49:00.003-05:00

Well worth the few minutes it will take to watch this.

Sarah Palin: "America's Enduring Strength" from Sarah Palin on Vimeo.

The old " Diesel Boats". A true and funny story bout a Coffee Pot.

2011-01-11T18:23:00.024-05:00

...and like old saying used to go; "It went over like a fart on a Submarine!"

_________________________________

...a look back. I originally posted this true story back in "07" but I've had some requests to post it again, so here t'is, OH MAN! I'M IN REAL DEEP SHIT NOW!

Well Sir...as of late...several of my close feller bloggers have been humorously nostalgisizin bout funny past experiences in their live...so here's a true account of something I did while stationed about the submarine the USS Piper SS409.....most of you old bubbleheads will probably enjoy this story....and hopefully ....ya won't be able to relate to it frum experience.....

Now...fer you folks that aren't in the know... at first this story might get a little boring and technical...but it's necessary for me to explain some things to y'all so's ya will understand just what was happenin....bear with me please. On the old fleet boats (WWII Submarines)..all the various water and sewage piping drained into the Sanitary Tanks...things like the sinks, showers, coffee urn, heads (toilets), urinals, skuttlebutts (drinking fountains) and few other extraneous systems having to do with water/sewage.

Now Sir...this tank had to be emptied (blown) overboard just about everyday during a certain duty watch...and there was a very explicit way to do this that entailed closing every valve..frum every line and every pipe that ran into the Sanitary tanks throughout the entire Boat....and there was a check-list that y'all had to use to make sure you had in fact closed every single drain valve in the boat.

Once all the drain valves goin to the Sanitary Tanks were closed...the sailor would then proceed to a pressurization station in the After Battery compartment...and open several other valves...one of them being the "Outer" Sanitary Tank valve...this being the underwater valve that was outside the boat. Once completed...he would then pressurize the Sanitary tank by putting 20 lbs of compressed air pressure into it.... thus flushing all sewage out of the tank and overboard into the ocean. Now y'all can see why all the other valves had t'be shut first....so's nuthin could blow back up the lines. I know this has been kinda boring to y'all....but stay with me.......

Now Sir...I had done this procedure many ....many times...and had never had a problem...but on this particular evening...sumthin went wrong. One could tell when the Sanitary Tank was emptying out by watchin a "Yarway" guage on the bulkhead (wall)...and when the tank was empty...you would secure the blow by turning off the air pressure....close a couple a valves at this station...and Re-open all the drain valves throughout the boat.

Well Sir, on this one disasterous and infamous evenin...I put 20 pounds a pressure in there as yur supposed to...and nuthin happened! The guage didn't budge. Tapped the guage...nuthin. Re-adjusted all the valves at that station...nuthin. OK...now what? Well...what the hell...let me give it 25 pounds of pressure....still nuthin. Godamnit...what the f*#k is goin on here? Checked all the immediate valves to make sure that they were in the correct positions....gave the system another 25 pound shot....nuthin. OK you SOB...here's 30 pounds a pressure......take that.....nuthin. The guage wasn't droppin one iota......

Totally flummoxed....I re-re-checked evrythin agin...gave it pressure....still nuthin. OK...damn you...y'all wanna play rough...here's 40 f*#kin pounds a pressure (twice the amount yur sposed t'use). Ah Ha...the guage jumped and then started goin down...the tank was finally emptying. At about that same moment in time...a crewmember nicknamed "Wingnut" cause a his big ears...came running through the After Battery yelling "SECURE THE BLOW....SECURE THE BLOW"!

I immediately shut the pressure valve off, looked at "Wingnut"....and asked.."what's wrong?" He looked at me...and with a broad-ass grin goin frum one a his huge ears to the other said... "Man...I'm real glad I ain't you". What are y'all talkin bout I asked agin. Now.....laughin uncontrolably and holdin his sides....Wingnut barely got it out that I needed get into the Crew's Mess right away..."the COB wants to see you"......

Now fer those a you unfamiliar...the COB is the "Chief of the Boat"...the most senior and experienced enlisted man on a submarine...he's next to God...his power is legendary....even the Captain listens to him when he speaks. Now...the COB on our boat was a grizzly old character named Joe Negri...and it was said that he'd been in the Navy so long that he had been First Mate on Noah's Ark... and he ate torpedo explosives fer breakfast and washed it all down with diesel oil....this guy was in the Navy when the ships were made of wood...and the men were made of steel...y'all gettin a mental picture yet....?

Now Sir....when I entered the Crew's Mess....I was greeted with a scene very reminiscent of....

...the only difference was that the bear...otherwise known as the COB....Joe Negri...the most Senior Chief Petty Officer in the United States Navy....was standin there with a coffee cup danglin from his hand and he was completely covered in SHIT!...frum his head to his toes...shit was drippin of his weathered old chief's hat, his nose, his chin, his ears, his eyebrows, his belt buckle..everywhere. The crews mess and galley was covered in shit...the deck was covered in shit....and when I seen what I had done....and the look on the COB's face....I almost added somemore shit to the scene myself via the back a my pants.

Well Sir...once old Joe got done tearin this here bubblehead a brand new asshole and callin me names I ain't never heard of before...or since...he stormed outta the Mess Hall bellowin t'me over his shoulder that he damned sure wasn't through with me yet....

There was dead silence fer a few seconds after he stormed through the hatch inta the Control Room...then...all the crew members who had been in the Mess Hall when the proverbial shit hit the fan...or rather the COB...broke into hysterical laughter.

Some crew members told me that the scene of the shit explosion occurred somthin like this....

Several guys were sitting in the galley quietly havin a cup a coffee when they heard a very loud noise that sounded like "Sproing!" (that was the sound of the drain line valve from the coffee urn to the Sanitary Tank breaking under double it's intended pressure). At about the same time...the COB happened to come around the corner to get a cup of coffee...he put his coffee cup under the serving spicket on the urn and pulled it....KABLOOM....shit that was bein pushed by 40 pounds of pressure...hit the bottom of his coffee cup and exploded up and out like Mt. Vesuvius and instantly covered him from head to toe....then shit continued to blast into the galley through the still open spicket and the broken glass tubes on the front of the urn. They said that the COB had the most horrified, puzzled, surprised, disgusting, confused and angry expression on his face...all at the same time...that they couldn't even mimic what his face looked like. The rest is history.......

Now...it don't take genius to figure out just who had to clean up all the shit. The coffee urn...a total loss...oh it was fixed and cleaned...but ain't nobody would ever drink outta it after that...includin me....the boat had t'get a new one.

Now Sir....I originally stuck t'my story that I had only used the required 20 pounds a pressure...nuthin more. Musta been a faulty valve said I. This always left a doubt in some minds as to just how much I was to blame fer the whole thing....

Well Sir...now...for the first time in 42 years...I'm finally fessin up. Joe...if'n yur out there somewhere readin this....I apologise to y'all fer all the shit I gave ya (sorry...couldn't resist).....and I deserved every "shit" detail and wurk assignment y'all gave me fer the next three months...as well as how ya restricted me to the boat with no leave or liberty....as well as all the chippin & paintin assignments ya gave me...as well as all the extra watches I had to stand....and the extra "Mess Cookin"(KP) duties....and the "bilge watches"...and all the ass chewin's that followed...no sir...I deserved it all Joe...and may God Bless ya where-ever you may be......you were a man's man.
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A day or so ago I posted this here joke about how we used to hate it when this happened when you were submerged. Well Sir, this here cartoon is what it looks like at the Diving Station of a Nuclear Sub (first pic under the cartoon).

Now Sir, on the old WWII class diesel boats like I served on, the diving station was on the Port (left) side of the boat and you actually faced the side of the boat. The wheel on the right side of the picture controled the Bow Planes and the other wheel controled the Stern Planes. The various gauges indicated, among other things, your depth, "bubble" (degrees up angle or down), etc..

This photo in Red Light is on the Diving Station when you are running on the surface AT NIGHT. It was kept in Red light so that if it was necessary for a person to go up and outside onto the Conning Tower bridge, their eyes would already be accustomed to a darkened light and would take less time to adjust to the darkness.

This Diving Station was located in the Control Room. **CLICK TO ENLARGE** this internal diagram so you can see the Control Room (under the Conning Tower).

"Diesel Boats Forever" by Tommy Cox.

...and yes, it was that cramped on those boats!

____________________________

...and Vigilis commented; "DBF - Excellent!!!"

...and "Charlie The Cop" commented; "Got to hand it to you cookie for the balls to repeat it. I'd deny it."

Some Tuesday tidbits of humor.

2011-01-11T10:31:00.017-05:00

Independent Front Suspension explained so's men can understand the concept.

*Read first, *then watch the Nissan Commercial

If you are considering a Nissan Pathfinder or any other car with an 'independent front suspension', this little commercial should prove to be most helpful in understanding the concept before making your purchasing decision.

An 'independent front suspension' system, is when one front wheel of a vehicle hits a bump or pothole, will move up or down to compensate while the other wheel remains steady. Both wheels are independent of each other, and hence the expression.

Watch the attached video all the way to the end.

It is a German commercial for the Nissan Pathfinder. This gives a moving experience which should benefit your understanding of this marvellous piece of engineering.

It's arguably the best explanation I've ever seen.

P.S. The Germans obviously have much better ads than we do, don't you agree?

ve gates.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR - 2011 LAUGHTER ALWAYS

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck.." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked..

"To get my teeth!"
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One liners.....

I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days' I told him 'I wish I had your f**king will power'

Top tip; if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex...........Wish me luck; I appear in court next Monday.

A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time, she said ' sorry about the wait ' I said ' don't worry fatty , you are bound to lose it eventually '

Snow in the forcast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance" with a face like that!'

I have a new chat up line that works every time!! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them..............Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'

Years ago it was suggested ' that an apple a day kept the doctor away ' But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and Mexicans were not the correct answers.
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Hmmmm, I'll bet this senior was "The Chief".

Two businessmen in Illinois were sitting down for a break in their
soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few
shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to
walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a
curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice
asked, "What are you sellin' here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing
well... only two left."

Seniors -- don't mess with us!

...and "The Chief" commented; "Just one of the many anecdotes from my life... I don't know how you found out about it though...."
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...and here be a couple of real "Awwwe Shit" moments.

Hoooorah!!!

2011-01-10T20:39:00.008-05:00

Cody's school principle wouldn't let him ride his bike with his American flag on it during the Veterans Day school week. Look what happened and who rode to school with him a few days later!

Thanks "Charlie The Cop" fer send'n me that one!

...and Don frum "Dons_Mind said; "that's awesome! best way to make a point! good job!!!!"
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I used to hate it when this happened!

Monday Mania.

2011-01-09T14:01:00.025-05:00

"Chicago Charlie" frum out Illinois way sent me this very heart warm'n Christmas story that I wish I had earlier so's I coulda shared it with Y'all around Christmas time.

Little Melissa

Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Christmas.

'Since Christmas Day is to celebrate Jesus's birth, and we're Jewish,' she asks, 'Will God get mad at me for giving someone a Christmas card?

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says: 'No, I don't think God would get mad. Whom do you want to give a Christmas card to?'

'Osama Bin Laden,' she says.

'Why Osama Bin Laden?' her father asks in shock.

'Well,' she says, 'I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Christmas card, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit.

And if other kids saw what I did and sent Christmas cards to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them, and how he didn't hate anyone anymore.'

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride.. 'Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I have ever heard!'

'I know, ' Melissa says, 'and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the mother fucker.'
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Well Sir, me good old High School bud, Ken Blanchard, informed me he was gonna go out and buy a run down "Winter-Rat" so's he could plaster all these Obama bumper stickers all over it!!!

...and this next one IS DEFINITELY the one I'm gonna get fer my Jalopy!

....and my friend "Charlie The Cop" frum out Illinois way informed me that he recently purchased an "All Terrain Vehicle". Here be a photygraff of it.

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...a great scene frum "The Bear".

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...a look back at Cookie's most memorable moment in 2010.

Found this here video on YouTube regard'n a persons ride in the B-17 "Liberty Belle". Been There-Done That! Only it was over Syracuse, NY in the same B-17.

Cookie's stills taken on Sunday, July 25th, 2010 in the Liberty Belle.

http://thecookshack.blogspot.com/2010_07_25_archive.html

Why so many folks frum my generation (1940's-50's) smoke! Passing the House Gavel!

2011-01-08T13:17:00.025-05:00

Every now and again I'm asked by my grand children or acquaintances why so many folks from my generation smoke cigarettes. Well Sir, when your 4 years old and every time you turn on the TV frum 1948 on, 4-6 hours a day, 7 days a week, your influenced by these commercials ya just might start smoke'n.

I've posted a few TV and movie commercials dating from the late 40's to the late
60's, and this is only a very small smattering of the amount of commercials. If your not from my generation, watching these might answer yur question. If you are frum my generation, sit back and enjoy the nostalgic journal through TV land.

Frum yur favorite Cartoon Characters

...frum 1952

...and frum Santa Claus.

...frum 1948

...and frum the Doctors.

...and frum yur favorite movie hero's.

...and frum yur favorite Sports hero's.

...and frum yur favorite comedy show, "The Phil Silvers Show".

...and frum the Drive-In Movie theater

...and frum "The Beverly Hillbillies"

Whew, that was a lot of wurk mates. I think I'll go light up a smoke!
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I think there be a few of us who woulda liked to have seen a transfer of power happen like this! Passing the Gavel.

Take a few moments., and about Commenting.

2011-01-08T10:38:00.013-05:00

Y'all will find this video very much unlike Cookie's usual posts, but if for no other reason than for your loved ones, take a few moments and please watch.

Both during my career as a Detective Sergeant, and later for about 14 years, I worked in the periphery of the medical field and spent much time in ER's and Hospitals, and twice in my life have witnessed similar events. When ya see things like this with yur own eye's it tends t'make one a real believer. I know there are those of Y'all out there who will chalk this up to "Coincidence", but one thing I've learned in 66 years of living,

"Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous."

Gotta Thank my good friend and com-patriot "Brownie" frum Oswego, NY fer send'n me that.
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With my comment section disabled thanks to ECHO Commenting, I've started adding comments to the end of the blog-post by hand. I can see the comments left in the comment section but cannot moderate or post them so I'll try to get yur comments up if'n I have the time so please bear with me, Thanks Mates!