Saturday, June 30, 2007

Sunday Sundries....

Well Sir...I'll begin with the number 1 reason NEVER to fart in a Wetsuit.....










TWENTY THREE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE












1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. I knew I was God and she didn't.


2. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.


3. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.


4. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.


5. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.


6. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.


7. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.


8. God must love stupid people; He made so many.


9. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.


10. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.


11. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!


12. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.


13. Procrastinate Now!


14. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.


15. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance


16. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!


17.They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.


18. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.


19. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory


20. Ham and eggs is a ½ day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.


21. The trouble with life is there's no background music.


22. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.


23. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.