Friday, December 12, 2008

Friday Frolics....

Photobucket PARTIAL NUDITY AHEAD!!

Finally....an idea frum this man that I can agree with....

HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES ?

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,
Bill Clinton


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DUI - TEXAS STYLE

Only a person in Texas could think of this.

From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story:

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar
in Austin , Texas after last call the officer noticed a man
leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely
walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes As some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.
At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started
up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station.

This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'

'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck.

'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'

Gotta Thank "FishinMagician" fer that one.....
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...and my buddy "Fish" frum down Kentucky way relates a story that happened t'him recently.....


As I booked into a hotel, I said to the receptionist,

"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

"No," she says, "It's regular porn, you sick bastard.

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