Road Sign's, Redneck Winders... and some Blasphemy...

Well Sir...Me and my "better-half" (had to say that) was drivin down Interstate Route 81 yesterday and as I approached my exit...I saw that the State of New York had adapted it's road signs to reflect the risen high price of gasolene........

Now mam....I don't care how y'all wanna cut it but there ain't no dowt in this here Cookie's mind...at least what's left of it...that the major gas companies are just a gougin the hell outta us...and its just gonna keep on happenin till someone figures out just what in tarnashin we all can be doin about it...

BTW...afore I retired from Law Enforcement...that's what I used to say to slimeballs and scumbags as I was placin em under arrest...."Assume the Position Asshole...."...sorry if'n I offended any a ya...but that's real life...

Oh...and BTW...I didn't do to the perp what this here sign is a doin...just thought I'd say that afore any smart-ass's out there ( like Buster...the Kansas Terror) said it first....

OK...movin on....y'all gotta understand that I live in a very rural section of New York State...on the border of two RR# counties...RR stands fer "Real Rural"...and we got our share a good old Redneck's & pick-em-up trucks here abouts....

Sooo...it seems good old Microsoft came up with a new Windows XP...which I sampled yesterday thanks to that beautiful woman, Liz, over at White Trash Republican....and here be a sample of the kind of computer warnin's this here program gives ya...now remember...this here version is called Winders fer Rednecks....

OK...movin on...as I said in the beginnin of this here post...I was drivin on Rt. 81 through good old RR Oswego County NY when I happened t'see a sign on one a the off roads that kinda cawt my attenshun...so's...I got off the interstate and drove down to this here country church called the "First South Baptist Church of Perpetual Pain & Sufferin Pentacostal Emaculate Conception Resurection of Our Lord...Irving."

Now Sir....as I was a sayin...y'all gotta remember that these here Counties are so rural that folks really got very little t'do...so's they find other ways to entertain themselves...and sometimes the results get a might overwhelmin...so's this here church found a way to kinda solve that resultin problem of folks entertainin themselves to excess......

Oh ya...afore I furget...I checked out with the Reverand/Pastor/Priest/Rabbi/Father/Mullah, Jim Jones, why they called their Lord...Irving...and he told me the followin account.....

...Now WARNIN...if'n yur a real religious folk type person...y'all stop readin here...cause this here story might be considered by some t'be offensive...so...y'all been warned....

It seems that these here church folks believe that when the Lord was born in the manger...a small, low ceiling'd, but sturdy structure...that when the three wise-men were a visitin with their gifts, as they each entered the manger individually...they had to bend down to keep frum hittin their heads on the ceiling cross-beam's....

Now it seems that the first two wisemen ducked their heads as they entered the manger...but when the last..not so "Wiseman"..entered the manger he whacked his head real hard on the cross-beam and immediately exclaimed "Jesus Christ!!!". Mary sat there holding her baby and said..."hmmm...that's better than Irving".....

Gotta do a Larry the Cable Guy at this point..."I'm sorry Lord...that was wrong...please help all the starvin little Pigmies down in Africa and all...."

Be seein y'all tomorrow....Cookie.....