Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Some PotPourri....

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love, and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine, and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week, and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."

By this time, Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won't have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is so adorable



A LOT of truth in the following.


Those who hammer their guns into plows, will plow for those who do not.
This is why Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi& and Hillary Clinton want gun control so badly!

An armed man is a citizen.
An unarmed man is a subject.

A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.

Colt,the original point and click interface.
Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.

If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?

If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.

Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.

If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.

Those who trade liberty for security have neither.

What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?

The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.

64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.

Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.

Know guns, know peace, know safety.
No guns, no peace, no safety.

You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.

911 - Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.

Assault is a behavior, not a device.

Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.

If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.

Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.

You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.

Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.

When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.

The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.



One winter morning a husband and wife in Denver were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street , so the snowplows can get through.

So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, ""We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street , so the snowplows can get through."

The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again eating breakfast when the radio announcer says, ""We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park .....". Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"



Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????"

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
-Blonde: "What's the story?" -He: "Just crap in the carburetor" -Blonde: "How often do I have to do that?"

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

A blonde out for a walk comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "Hellooooo!! You ARE on the other side."

A gorgeous redhead goes to the doctor's office and said her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
-Doctor said: "You're not really a redhead, are you?
-Blonde: "Well, no, I'm actually a blonde."
-Doctor: "I thought so; your finger is broken."

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American, & a Blonde were talking one day.
-Russian: "We were the first in space!"
-American: "We were the first on the moon!"
-Blonde: "So what? We'll be the first on the sun!"
-Russian:"You can't land on the sun, you'll burn up!"
-Blonde: "We're not stupid; we're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"


Laura Lou

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. "What was that for?" he asked. "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it," she replied."

Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation."

Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for?"

She replied, "Your horse called."