Thursday, September 07, 2006

A Shitty Post... and a Senior Test...betcha fail it.... and Flag Desicration...

It was entertainment night at the senior center in the midst of Winter, and the
Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from
miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he
announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or
three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend
to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew
a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want
you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very
special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while
quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch
the watch..." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch
swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until,
suddenly, ----- it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and
fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Shit!" said the hypnotist... .....

It took three weeks to clean up the senior center....

SENIOR TEST....Betcha Fail it......

Test for Dementia:

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are....Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question:You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!Try not to screw up next time.

Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right.......Maybe.

Fourth Question:Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

Okay, now the bonus round: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

He just has to open his mouth and ask...It's really very simple.... Like you!

Hey...yet anuther Good Ol Cookshack Hat-Tip to Sue frum Eagle Lake, Texas...thanks Sue.....

...and finally...What I call desicration of the Stars & Bars.....