Why I'm swearin off cookin with Bacon Grease and... 2 new uses fer Duct Tape....

Now Sir...any good cook knows that to add some flavor to yur fare...sometimes ya just gotta cook with some good old fashioned Bacon Grease...but...I think I just might change m'thinkin bout that.... SOME PARTIAL NUDITY ahead...so be warned...





Well Sir...gotta admit...thought I knew just about all the uses fer duct tape that there is...but here's a couple a more.....OH BTW...there's some PARTIAL NUDITY commin up...and it ain't exactly in the best taste....so's if'n that offends ya....STOP HERE!!!

Ductape
>
> Contrary to popular opinion, duct tape IS NOT good for fixing everything!
>
> Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar.
> He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul,
> "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got
> an erection every time I saw her?"
>
> "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up,
> "I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
>
> "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
>
> "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried
> I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped "it" to
> my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show".
>
> "Sensible" says Jeff.
>
> "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered
>
> it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw."
>
> "And what happened then?"
>
> "I kicked her in the head."

Now Sir...this here is what's known as ...REDNECK BIRTH CONTROL.... and its used quite extensively here in upstate New York......

agin...PARTIAL NUDITY involved....so be warned......
>
>
>
>
>
> Look out...here tis....
>
>



OUCH !!! That's gotta hurt comin off...