Thursday, December 21, 2006

...Ya gotta have heart...miles & miles & miles of heart.. + The Purina Dog Food Diet...

Well Sir....many years back when my youngins were real young...I had just served up a bowl of Pickled Venison Heart to a huntin buddy who came o'er fer a visit. Two of my four kids, ages 8 & 9 came over to the table and asked "Whatcha eatin?" Try some I said, knowin that if'n they knew what it was they'd never try it.

They hesitated and agin asked what it was. Agin I answered try it. They finally tried it and loved it. My other two kids, observin that their sibs where enjoyin somethin, came o'er and the next thing ya know...they was all eatin it. After all of us had finished off this tasty appetizer, my kids agin asked what it was they had just eaten. I told em....and no surprize...the "Bambi Syndrome" kicked in. They eventually got over it and from that day on, I couldn't keep Pickled Venison Heart marinatin in the refrigerator fer two days...let alone 3-5 as is recommended...'s a real simple recipe' I've used o'ver the years....

Pickled Venison Heart

1 1/2 Cups vinegar
1 c. sugar
2 tsp. pickling spice
2 small, thinly sliced onions
1/4 Cup water

Cook heart(s) covered for two hours in a salt water brine (about a palmful of salt).

Rinse, then cut the heart in half (I find it easier to cut from top to bottom). Remove any grizzle and arteries. Cut into 1 1/2" bite size pieces and place into a sealable container.

Add all the above ingredients together and bring to a boil. Quickly pour hot mixture over heart pieces. Refridgerate for at least 3-5 days....then ENJOY!

The Purina Dog Food Diet...

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow fer my Wolf/Dog, Czarina, and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........


I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina
Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned
me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.