Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Just fer chuckles....

Idiot Sightings!!!! Be careful, be v-e-r-y careful....

IDIOT SIGHTING: Hubby and I had to have the garage door repaired. The
Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a
"large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that
we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook
his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2
was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two."
We haven't used Sear s repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many
deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place
for them to be crossing anymore." From Kingman , KS

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell
and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal
lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City !

IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker
of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it
signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What
on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker:
She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented
cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word
was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights
stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip
back into itself, and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her
system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office
no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealer-
ship to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went
to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock <>the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced
to the technician, "Its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi !

They walk among us, they REPRODUCE and they VOTE!!!

A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong Email address!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, and his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an Email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her Email address and without realizing his error, sent the E-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston Texas, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to Glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her Email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send Emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here.