Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Tuesday PotPourri.....

Well Sir...my buddies "Fish" and Charlie B both sent this here office memo....must be they wurk in the same office....

Memo to ALL Staff:

I have compiled a Master Reference binder for all staff.

Inside this binder you will find "solutions" to everyday problems.

If you are having problems with the photocopier, having difficulty dealing with co-workers, having computer problems...please come and get the red binder and it will help you through your issue.



While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded

The cop stammered, "A what?............

A rectum stretcher?

And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00

Court Costs $45.00

Look on the Cop's Face....... PRICELESS

For everything else, there's MasterCard!


....Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen up, Buddy. I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean . . . it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just love it."

Eyes now wide with interest, he responded,

"'No kidding. I'm a lawyer, too. What firm are you with?"

....thanks mucho Sue fer the cop joke......