Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Wednesday Wanks....






Now Sir..."Charlie the Cop" is on an animal kick t'day and sent these next two along to us....

CED in animals......

...and speakin of animals......

The Pink Envelope...

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"

The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; What does he do for a living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"

The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada . He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno ."

This morning on my commute to the gym, I looked over to my left and there was a WOMAN in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds

and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane,

still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much;

I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Cookie and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my pants, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!

Hmmm...found this interestin.....

What's in the heart comes out via the tongue!

From Rush Limbaugh's radio show yesterday.....

Hey, folks, you want to tweak the Drive-By Media with me right now?

You are aware, probably, that Barack Obama lost his bearings recently and said
that he was going to campaign in all 57 states.

You heard this? And everybody chalked it up to, "Well, he's tired."

You know, this is a Dan Quayle moment. I mean, Dan Quayle goes out there and
misspells "potato," and we still hear jokes about it.

Barack Obama says he's gonna go out and campaign in 57 states; he was just
tired, you know; it's been such a long campaign; he's been so many places; he probably thinks there are 57 states.

Well, I have here a printout from a website called the International Humanist
and Ethical Union. And here is how the second paragraph of an article on that website begins.

"Every year from 1999 to 2005 the organization of the Islamic conference
representing the 57 Islamic states presented a resolution to the United
Nations Commission on human rights called combating."


Obama said he's going to campaign in 57 states, and it turns out that there are 57 Islamic states. There are 57 Islamic states.

So did Obama just lose his bearings, or was this a more telling slip, ladies
and gentlemen?