Sunday, July 20, 2008

Sunday shorts...

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the
11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and
asked him to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was
wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An,
ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Richard grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error

'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll
figure it out.'

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T ... I used to like the little shit.............



BTW...yesterdays "Thumb" joke was sent to me by Missy Sandy frum Tampa Bay...


...and "Nedgar" sends us this one....

The Facelift

A Woman had a facelift for her 50th birthday

She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my
asking, but how old do you think I am?'

'About 32,' is the reply.

'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl the very same question. The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'

The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug
store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some
mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting
next to her the same question.

He replies,'I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds
very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets
the best of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel
around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and
he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs
them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay...How old
am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
says, 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could
you tell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't,' she says.

'I was behind you in McDonald's.'

"Survived By...." sent to us bu "Charlie the Cop"....