Monday, July 07, 2008

Tuesday Tidbits....


Well Sir, my lovely Irish bride of 42 years, Elaine, is celerbratin her B'Day today, so this will be a relatively short post as I have several important things to attend to if'n I personally want to reach MY own next birthday.

Now Sir, I know its not polite to reveal a ladies age, so I'll just say that its somewhere between 64 and 66. It should be noted that my wife, having been a "cradle robber", is one year older than the Cookie man, and thus she never fails to remind me to "Mind my Elders".

Now...speakin of Blondes....Don't ferget t'feed the cat.....

_____________________________________ as much as we're on age related material, Sandy frum Tampa sent me these funny shorts regardin Florida Humor....

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.

One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'

The other replies, 'Oh, sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'


Three old ladies were sitting side by side on patio chairs at their
Orlando retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled from years
past shopping at the local Piggly Wiggly and demonstrated with her
hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger
and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could
buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I
surely do remember, Cookie the Sub-Sailor, the guy you're talking about.


A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a
Florida Adult community.

A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks,

'Are you a stranger here?'

He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'

'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'

'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'


Two elderly people living in a Port Charlotte Retirement Community, he
was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of
years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the

The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal
went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the
courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes.
Yes, I will!'

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to
their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say
'yes' or did she say 'no'?'

He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall.. Not
even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and
called her.

First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then
he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more
courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say
Yes' or did you say 'No'?'

He was delighted to hear her say , 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will.' and
I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued,

'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'


A man - my husband - was telling his neighbor in Sun City Center, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.
It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'


Morris, an 82 year-old man in Miami, went to the doctor at the local
Medical Clinic to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw
Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're
really doing great, aren't you?'

'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma' and 'be
cheerful.'',Morris replied.

To which d octor said, 'I didn't say that, Morris. I said, 'You've got a
heart murmur, be careful!'


A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream
parlor in Leesburg, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked
kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids.'




...5 kinds of Lucky....


Thanks "Chicago Charlie" and Missy Susan frum Texas fer some of todays submissions...