Thursday, January 15, 2009

It's a "Dog Day" ...


Ah Ha...I think I finally found my "Life Partner"....


seeks male companionship, ethnicity
unimportant. I' m a very good girl who LOVES to
play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in
your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing
trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.
Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of
your hand. I'll be at the front door when you
get home from work, wearing only what nature
gave me.

Call (404) xxx-6420 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....


Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, 'If I died, would you get another dog?'

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

...and lastly...

15. If you lock both your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for an hour or so, see which one is the happiest to see you when finally you open the trunk!!


...and since most dogs love to chase Squirrels....

There were five houses of religion in a small Texas town:

The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church , the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will..

In The BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.

Now they only see them on Christmas , Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue,

but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.


...and cats....

The Wal-Mart Cat

A BLONDE was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat
which was hiding in the grass.
She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to WAL-MART!



WALMART is the largest RETAILER in the world!!!