Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Take heed menfolk.

Fer all of you newly married men out there, and those who haven't yet learned some basic survival tips regardin womenfolk... Take Heed Amigo's!!


....and now, t'get all my blonde womenfolk readers mad at Cookie...

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even
though she has had no lessons, nor prior
experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and
the horse immediately springs into motion. It
gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but
the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the
horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm
grip. She tries to throw her arms around the
horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's
side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly
impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip,
the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse
and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her
foot has become entangled in the stirrup; she is
now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves
as her head is struck against the ground over
and over.

As her head is battered against
the ground, she is mere moments away from
unconsciousness when to her great
fortune.....Frank, the Wal-mart greeter, sees
her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

And - you thought all they did was say "Hello".


Subject: Fact?

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Porsche back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, 'I think I can stand over the hole!' So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, 'Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up.' And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:

If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!