...Just some scattered humor... and some sad irony...

She's Gone . . . .

-She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit drinking....

-Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up, and I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her.....

-She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me......

-I told her that was what the beer was for.....

-I don't think she's coming back...

BLACK BOXES....

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past 5 years, whereby the auto maker's were installing black box voice recorders in four-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV's in an effort to determine in fatal accidents, thecircumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were not surprised to find in 42 of the 50 states the recorded lastwords of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh Shit!"

What was a surprise, is that only in the upstate section of NY, specifically Onondaga, Jefferson, Lewis, St. Lawrence and the Oswego County area (Where I live folks)... were the last words different, in 89.3 percent of the time, the final words were: "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try something."

Didja ever wunder where the phrase "Stuck on Stupid" came frum.....here's yur answer....

...take yur choice BTW....

.The grinning idiot clinging to Je$$e Jack$on is, as we all know by now, Cindy Sheehan... who, as we also all know...lost her son Casey in the war,... the same son she gave up in her divorce when he was 7 years old.

...And by the way if you wonder why she has so much free time, ... she is going through another divorce right now and guess what? She is giving up custody of another son.

As Forest Gump once wisely proclaimed, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Hat Tip: The Doubting Thomas Journey fer the jokes (Cindy Sheehan included in that)

Just cause yur old....don't mean yur not mentally alert....

The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.

As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence. At once, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave.

"The old man frowned, "I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.

"Holding up the bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator.

"Just goes to show, old men can still think on their feet.

Hat Tip: Myron