Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Are You A Turtle?? Let us see if'n ya can pass the test...

Well Sir...if'n you were a WWII, Korean or Vietnam War Military pilot, or a college student in the 60's and 70's, and frequented frat/sorority parties, upscale cocktail lounges or "hip" drinkin establishments, or were/are a member of the Masons, Elks or American Legion... you very well may have been asked this question...a question to which there is a very specific answer to.

To become a member of The Ancient and Honorable Order of the Turtle, one must answer a number of riddle/questions ranging from 4 to as many as 25 questions. Now Sir...here be the catch...all answers MUST be NON-VULGAR and innocuous....No Vulgarity whatsoever......Here are some examples...

What does a woman do sitting down, that a dog does on three legs, and a man does standing up?
What is long, hard, and tubular and filled with "sea-men?"
What does a cow have four of, that a woman only has two of?
What is rounded and hard and sticks so far out of a man's pajamas you can hang your hat on it?
What does a dog do that a man steps into?
What is a four letter word, ending with "k," that means intercourse?
What is six inches long, has a head on it and is the object of many women's fantasies?
I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. What am I?

I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. What am I?

I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?

Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't a maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open. What am I?

You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?

When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?

If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?

I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?

I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?

My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it. What am I?

There is a house with 4 sides...each side of the houses faces South. There is a bear running toward the house. What color is the bear??

A man is visiting his friends home and see's a painting over the fireplace. He asks..Who is that in the painting?? The home owner answers: "Brothers and Sisters I have none, But that mans Father is my Father's son." Who is it in the painting???

Remember Mateys...NO VULGARITY....have fun......