Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Wednesday Wank's......

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are
having a bad day........

My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I
noticed your cat. Sorry!

Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.

Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but
wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?"

Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby?

I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having
met you .. I've changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell
until I met you.

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to
ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take
this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky, West
Virginia & of course Hope Valley )

Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike!

When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've
broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

We have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop?

I 'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here.

Congratulations on your
new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So
we're having you put to sleep.

So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright
side, it's really good pay

Two rednecks are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing hole, just
fishing quietly and drinking beer.

Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Mel says, "I think I'm going
to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."

Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says,

"You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."





How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter

"What are you doing?"
She asked.

"Hunting Flies"
He responded.

"Oh. ! Killing any?"
She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked."How can you tell them apart?"

He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.