Monday, August 06, 2007

Tuesday Tidbits.....

Well Sir...we'll be a startin with these here Cookies, called F-Cup Cookies in which the fat is guaranteed to go right to yur boobs to make em larger....Hmmmm...I wonder if'n they make "Cockies"....

Speakin of women with large breasts. here be a story about a large breasted organist....

The Church Lady

There was a church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons though because they are so sour, they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while.

She agreed to try it. The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said.

"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon tewday."

Alcohol is bad...

Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself :

Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?"

Maxine: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs."

Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"

Maxine: "No, they spread.

....might be bad fer this woman but great fer the guys....

T. Bubba Bechtol, part time City Councilman from Midland, TX,
was asked on a local live radio talk show just what he thought
of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners.

His reply prompted his ejection from the studio;
but to thunderous applause from the audience.

"If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's scrotum to a cars battery cables
will save one American GI's life, then I have just two things to say":

1. "Red is positive".
2. "Black is negative".


Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, “I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.”

The second surgeon said, “That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both
legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a Gold
Medal in track and field events in the Olympics.”

The third surgeon said,

“You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana. She rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's blonde hair and the horse's butt. I was able to put them together and now she's running for President.