Sunday, January 06, 2008

A Mad-Cap Monday Mix t'start yur week....

Well be some things my folks used t'say back in 1955...

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going
to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before
$2, 000.00 will only buy a used one."

"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack
is ridiculous.

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail
a letter?"

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire
outside help at the store."

"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost
29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."

"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to
stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long
as the girls."

"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let
Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every
new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it."

"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man
on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call
astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."

"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a
year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making
more than the President."

"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be
electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women
are having to work to make ends meet."

"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to
watch their kids so they can both work."

"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be
getting divorced at the drop of a hat."

"I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of
foreign business."

"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half
our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people
to congress."

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously
doubt they will ever catch on."

"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs
nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel."

"No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's
too rich for my blood."

"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."

And if'n y'all wanna hear all the great music of the 50's through the 80's.......GO HERE! , turn up yur sound and pick yur favorite year....

Wal-Mart Greeter

A new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, real sharp, so the boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it.

Finally, one day he called him into the office for a talk. "Charlie, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."

"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Air Force. What did they say if you came in late there?"

'They said, "Good morning, General."

Ever now and agin...they come out with a good humorous commercial...SOUND ON.

How a Butterfly destroyed my house.....


A Blonde finds herself in serious trouble.

Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's desperate so she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."

Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving.

I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You.

PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....

"Sweetheart, work with Me on this....Buy a ticket."

Journey of a Man

When I was 12, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 15 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big tits!

I gotta THANK "Charlie the Cop" frum Chi-Town, and Pat Houseworth fer the above funnies....

...and a Cookshack "Thanks Mate" to Jeff Wilson fer this here beauty...

Remember that cute little Coppertone girl with her dog pulling on her blue bathing suit bottoms during the late 50's and throughout the 60's?

Well, she's all grown up now, and is living in Sarasota , Florida at Siesta Key Beach.