Sunday, March 02, 2008

Monday...a promise frum Cookie... and some great Movie Memorabilia..

OK of late...Cookie has been receivin comments..AND personal E-mails from folks who regularly come over to The Cookshack to basically take a break from Politics and all the shit goin on in this insane world today... A chance to get a laff or two and ferget all the bullshit goin on these gawd awfull political campaigns and world news that either piss's ya off, or scares the shit outta ya....Soo...

Although, every now and agin, somethin or someone really piss's me off so bad that the Cookie goes on a rant for a spell (usually sumthin to do with the Obamanable Showman, the Hildebeast or those assholes in Berkely)...sooo ...I'm gonna do everythin in my power from here on out to give y'all a sanctuary from the insanity of everythin that's goin on in the world lets begin....

Well Sir...every Village has at least one.....

Hat Tip: "Charlie the Cop" frum out Chicago way....

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business"

At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office :
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window :
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station ,
"Thank heaven for little grills."

And don't forget the sign at a
Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

Warning - not just for New Yorkers, but anybody planning on a visit!!!!

Zero tolerance speed camera

With the New York highway death toll continuing to increase, this will be the first year that Zero Tolerance Speed Cameras will be used. The new cameras look different from the normal cameras. I have included a photo so that you are familiar with them. Make sure you do not speed when approaching one!!

Please take this warning seriously as you will not get a second chance.

Gotta thank Clint Griffin frum San Diego Mexifornia fer that one....

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, 'I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.'

In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box was 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash.

She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there even was such a box with such contents. That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner.

After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, 'I am so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?'

Bill thought for a while and said, 'I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.'

Hillary was shocked, but said, 'Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. I am very disappointed and saddened by your behavior. However, since you are addicted to sex I guess it does happen and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem.'

Bill thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Hillary asked Bill, 'So why do you have all that money in the box?'

Bill answered: 'Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash.'

...and here be a little sumthin dedicated both C.D.Jewell and Pat Houseworth who I know appreciate these.....

Movie Memorabilia.... Those Great 1950's Sci-Fi flicks....I'd rather have these guys invading us than Obama....

Ah Yes....James Arness's first starring roll.... "The Thing"