Saturday, April 19, 2008

Saturday and Sunday Sundries....and... Where "Liberals" come from....

Fer those of y'all who may be wunderin about the medical tests I had Friday at the VA, I have a bad, and most painful infection on my right leg frum a fall this clumsy old Cookie took last week. Now Sir, being an insulin dependant diabetic, after chewing my ass out big time, my Doctor has me on a series of heavy duty antibiotics so I hopefully don't lose my leg, or foot, or any other appendage below my waist....

Also, I gotta give a big old Cookshack HAT TIP to "Sandy" from Tampa, "Charlie the Cop" frum Chi-Town, and Susan Gertson frum Eagle Lake, Texas fer some of the below entries.....Thanks Amigo and Amiga's....

Everyone seems to be wondering why Islamic terrorists are so quick to commit suicide .. Let's see now...

No Jesus
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders

No nude women
No car races
No football
No soccer
No golf

No tailgate parties
No Wal-Mart
No Bunnings
No pork BBQ
No hot dogs
No burgers
No chocolate chip cookies

No lobster
No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks
No nachos
No beer nuts
No Beer !!!!!!!!

Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
More than one wife.
You can't shave.
Your wives can't shave.
You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey.
But your donkey has a better disposition.
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

I mean, really, is there a mystery here???

THE"Flight Attendant"....

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom,

"This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area".

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.

The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, "So, Skip, what’cha got planned while we're in Tampa?"

"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap...then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner...I 'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long."

Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.

Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta land the plane and take a shit first.”

How Latex Gloves Are Made

A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly
lady, was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke
as he put on his gloves.

"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't" she replied.

"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in China with
a big tank of latex. Workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank,
dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and
throw them into boxes of the right size." She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh well, I tried," he thought.

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of
the dental procedure, she burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I was just picturing how condoms are made!" she said.

Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are
always working!

Photobucket ....... ADULT TOPIC MATTER...

Hmmm....Breast Feeding yur 8 year old.....

Ain't no doubt in the Cookies mind this is the kind of wummin y'all see at protest rallies of various sorts, blockading Marine Corps Recruiting Stations, and/or...Democratic National Conventions. She doesn't know how to say NO to her kids...." I'll let her tell me when she's ready to stop." What a cop out....

...and, an obviously very intellectual expert comments and offers her view on the practice of breast feeding 8 years between puffs on her cigarette.....

Cookies Professional Opinion is this. As every parent knows, from before birth to some point after birth, every need a child has is usually met quickly. Once born, the child has simply to cry when it's wet, hungry or ill, and a parent responds quickly and appropriately, so, in that young child's mind, it is the master of its universe, getting instant gratification by simply acting out in some way. This is called "The King Baby".

Now every parent also knows, there comes that day in babies life when the parent, or some other authority figure, has to say NO to something, usually to some toy or sugary food it wants while shopping with Mama. In the babies mind..."NO...What's this NO shit? I've always gotten everything I wanted." "I'll just cry louder, and maybe kick my legs a bit for emphasis." Hence, the end result usually being a tantrum of some sort.

This behavior will continue until such time that the child eventually learns and accepts that NO means NO, and this period of time can be exceptionally trying, aggravating and frustrating for parents.

Some parents, not wanting to deal with this, and believing that Baby will not love them anymore because they said NO, simply give in and give baby whatever it wants, and the "King Baby Syndrome" of "Instant Gratification" resulting from negative behavior continues on into the child's formative, adolescent and eventually adult years. This "King Baby" attitude, if you will, can also be summed up in the statement, "I Want, What I Want, When I Want It and don't tell me NO!" We call these adult King Babies...Liberals, and more times than not, eventually become Democrats.


Now regards to the first video, I guess my take on all of this would be that later in life there will be a strong desire on the part of this poor kid for some instant oral gratification, which...might not be an all bad thing fer us guys...if'n ya know what I mean....

That's Cookies professional assessment of how we get Liberals and Democrats....

Well Sir....I guess this explains alot as well ( G-Rated content).....