Monday, June 23, 2008

Tuesday tidbits....

Well Sir...gotta say THANKS to "Charlie the Cop" and Susan Gertson fer the follerin items.....

"Come on down to the Farm."...... **sigh**, ain't it the truth though!...


A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.'Breast-fed,' she replied.

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,

'No wonder this baby is underweight.

You don't have any milk.'

I know,' she said,

'I'm his Grandma, But I'm glad I came.'

OUCH, OUCH, and OUCH agin....


"Quick...Sign her up!"....WOW...What a Catch!


...hmmmm...Uh Oh!

The Homecoming

A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year.

A few weeks after he got there, he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter. "My love," he wrote, "we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we're constantly surrounded by young and very attractive native girls. A hobby of some sort would certainly help me resist temptation."

So his wife sent him back a harmonica, saying, "Why don't you learn to play this?"

Eventually, his tour of duty came to and end and he rushed back to his wife.

"Darling," he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!"

She kissed him and said, "First, let me hear you play something on that harmonica."


Subject: A Drunk story

He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest,
biker in the face and says: 'I went by your grandma's house today and I saw
her in the hallway buck naked.

Man, she is one fine looking woman!'

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused,
because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says: 'I got it on with your
grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!'

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still
says nothing.

The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, 'I'll tell you
something else, boy, your grandma really liked it..

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks
him square in the eyes and says......

'Grandpa,...... Go home, you're drunk.

...excuse me...but I just gotta say it...You F*#KING DUMMY!