Thursday, November 06, 2008

S'More PotPourri....

Borrowed this analogy frum "The Chief".....

I know that there be a slew of comments that one could make about the above comparisons....but I'll leave that up to Y'all. Be nice now....

Here be some "Cookin Tips" frum two famous kitchen icons....Martha and Maxine...

MARTHA: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

MAXINE: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

MARTHA: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

MAXINE: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

MARTHA: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

MAXINE: Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

MARTHA: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

MAXINE: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

MARHA: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

MAXINE: Celery? Never heard of it!

MARTHA: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

MAXINE: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.

MARTHA: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

MAXINE: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!

MARTHA: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

MAXINE: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

MARTHA: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

MAXINE: Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!!!!!!

That also happened to me once in College. She was looking for cocktail sausages but found Knockwurst instead....


OK ladies....guess what I'm talkin about......

To make it stand,
You wet it !

To make it wet,
You suck it !

To make it stiff,
You lick it !

To get it in,
You push it!

Damn !

Threading a needle when you're older is a BITCH!

....and just what pray tell were Y'all thinkin???

...actually...this ain't a bad idear and has some merit.....


Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents your Dr office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across.

Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.

This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break in your house, odds are the burglar rapist won't stick around... After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. remember also,to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there ...... This is something that should really be shared with everyone.

Could also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart attack, where you can't reach a phone. My Mom has suggested to my Dad that he carry his car keys with him in case he falls outside and she doesn't hear him. He can activate the car alarm and then she'll know there's a problem.

Hmmmm....maybe there is sumthin to this here Global Warmin thing.....