Friday, January 11, 2008

Friday Funnies....

What are you doing here? - man asks wife at brothel (True Story) OR..."The Best Little Whore House in Poland"...

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment’s employees. Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town.

“I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming,” the husband told the newspaper Wednesday.

The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported.

(Writing by Chris Borowski, Editing by Matthew Jones)

And of course it begs the question - WTF was he doing there? Maybe she got so tired bumpin’ nasties at work she wouldn’t bump nasties with him?

...and...fer Christmas this year one of my Grandchildren bought me a brand spankin new Fishin t'is.....


I think on some level...we all knew this was true.....


Been tryin t'tell my wife this fer years......

As Ben Franklin said:

"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated
that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we
would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E.coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila,
rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a
purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.


Water = Poop

Wine / beer = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water
and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it
as a public service.

The Urinal Is Too High

A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two
female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack
(Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horse s and the
supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was
decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would
go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting
outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her
that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with
their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one
holding onto their "wee wees" to direct the flow.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was
unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring,
the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th grade."

"No, ma'am, " he replied. "I'm the jockey riding Silver
Arrow in the seventh."


After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, Scottish
archaeologists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and
came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone
network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English
scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters and shortly after, headlines in
the UK newspapers read: “English archaeologists have found traces of 200
year old copper wire” and have concluded that their ancestors had an
advanced high-tech communications network one hundred years earlier that
the Scots.

One week later, “The Kerryman”, a southwest Irish newsletter reported
the following: After digging as deep as 30 meters in a peat bog near
Tralee, Paddy O’Doul, a self-taught archaeologist reported that he found
absolutely nothing”. Paddy therefore concluded that 300 years ago,
Ireland had already gone wireless.

I gotta give a good Cookshack Thanks to "Fish" frum Kentucky, Charlie the Cop frum Chi-Town and Pat Houseworth fer sendin me these humorous anecdotes & jokes...