Saturday, February 02, 2008

Saturday satire...

Well Sir...this is one of those sleepless nights that we all get every now and layin in bed wide awake won't accomplish much...I figure I might just as well get Saturday's post ready fer postin....and..there ain't too much the Cookie has to say about anything as I've used up my quota of rants fer the week so....

I'll start with a National Weather Forecast for the next few days...

Followed by Dr. Suesse makes a comeback.....

...and we gotta have some Cowboy humor....


Hot date in Mississippi...

A young Mississippi man goes to a drug store and says
to the pharmacist: 'I got a hot date tonight, an'
I need me some pertection. How much is a pack a' them rubbers
gonna cost me?'

The pharmacist responds: 'A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax.'

'TACKS!' the shocked redneck says. Lord ave mercy!~, don't they stay on by themselves?

Putting Your Affairs in Order

A woman went to her doctor.

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and
said, "I've some bad
news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself
and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

"Well honey, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate
when things don't go so well.

In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer.
Let's head to the club and have a martini."

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber.
There were some laughs and more martinis and reminiscing.

They were eventually approached by some
of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her
impending end.

"I've been diagnosed with AIDS and was told I'm going to die."

The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences.

After the friends left,
the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,

"Mom, I thought you said you were dying of cancer,
and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.
Why on earth would you tell them that?"

The woman said, " Yes, I did. Do you think I want any of those
bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone???"

That's "Putting Your Affairs In Order. "

Gotta thank MightyMom, "Charlie the Cop", "Fish" frum Kentucky and Sue Gertson fer these here posters and prose of jocularity...

...and finally...I just love a great practical joke......