Friday, January 25, 2008

Ancient predecessor to New York Times discovered in Israel...

Well Sir...being a student of history, I found this story mighty interestin...

Archaeologists, excavating an ancient building site known as "The Gray Whore" in an area just south of Jeruselum, discovered the following scroll....believed to be the very 1st publication ever of what would later (much later) become The New York Times....

The scroll was exceptionally well preserved. Experts have attributed this to the fact that they discovered a quantity of "fish bones" inside the scroll and that the original fish believed to have been wrapped in the scroll may have somehow acted as a "preservative".

Another similar scroll was also uncovered nearby, and this also was very well preserved, however, although no "fish bones" were found in the proximity of the second scroll, a substance that has now been identified as an early type of "feline feces/urine absorber" was all around the area of the discovery.



New Sex Study.....

It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is a doggie position.

The husband sits up and begs.

The wife rolls over and plays dead


Electile Dysfunction

The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.

...AND...This just In!!!

Subject: Fw: Mexican Earthquake

Mexican Earthquake

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico.

Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start.

The country is asking for help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.

Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.

Saudi Arabia is sending oil.

Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.

The European community (except France) is sending food and money.

The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million Mexicans to
replace the dead ones.

God bless America!!!!

Now Sir...Pit Bulls are not only nasty, and sometimes dangerous, some of them are also exceptionally STUPID! This one obviously messed with a Porcupine, and kept messin with it, etc., etc., etc.,.....

The Vet had to sedate the animal and then proceeded to remove over 1300 quills...

Wunder if'n it learned anything....


....Hmmmm....and maybe a grain of Salt is needed least I HOPE SO!

My friend sent this to me, and I thought I would pass it along. I can laugh at these or cry because of these . . . I'm not sure which one I want to do right now. :)

Actual test answers from various Hunstville, Alabama metro schools.

Q - Name the four seasons. A - Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q - What does "varicose" mean? A - Nearby.
Q - Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A - Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q - What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? A - If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q - What happens to your body as you age? A - When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q - What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A - He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q - Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A - Premature death.
Q - How can you delay milk turning sour? A - Keep it in the cow.
Q - How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.) A - The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels - a, e,I, o and u.
Q - What is the fibula? A - A small lie.
Q - Give the meaning of the term "caesarian section." A - The caesarian section is a district in rome.
Q - What is a terminal illness? A - When you are sick at the airport.
Q - What does the word "benign" mean? A - Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q - What is a turbine? A - Something an Arab wears on his head.
Q - What is a Hindu? A - It lays eggs.

Ginger Black
English Teacher
Interact Club sponsor

Ole, a furniture dealer from up at Brainerd MN, decided to expand the
line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected
a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new
acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine
As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite
crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table,
asked him something in French (which Ole couldn't understand), so he
motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down. He tried to
speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a
couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin
and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so
he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin,
and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left
the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing
romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin
and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to
dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Ole has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business!

...and finally....The Cookie has been honored by MightyMom over at "My Wonderful Life" who awarded me one of her "Daily Dose Award's"...

She gives this award to blogs that she absolutely MUST visit every day to get a daily dose of whatever that blog is servin up fer the day....THANKS MIGHTYMOM!! I'm truly honored.


OK mates....gotta thank "MightyMom", "Charlie the Cop" frum Chicago, and CSSSCC frum Tampa fer sendin these along....