Tuesday Tidbits...."Civil War Camp Pork & Beans"

Just a brief update afore we get t'the jokes. I'm back putting in my time everyday at the Military Courtesy Room and enjoying every minute of it. There is great personal satisfaction when you've managed to assist, or lighten the load of one of our fine military men or woman. Their hand shakes and smiles of gratitude say it all......

May God Bless All our fine Troops....
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...and Missy Susan frum Eagle Lake, Texas sent this along for all those young husbands (or stupid ones who haven't learned yet) out there who might not be familiar with these major "No-No's". "These are the things you don't say to your wife...."


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AUSTRALIAN COURT
DOCKET 12659

-CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling
at her.

She immediately moved to another seat. This
time the smile turned into a grin, so she
moved again. The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out
laughing, she complained to the driver and
he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, Well your Honour, it was
like this:

* When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't
help but notice her condition. She sat under
a sweets sign that said, 'The Double Mint
Twins are Coming' and I grinned.

* Then she moved and sat under a sign that
said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the
swelling', and I had to smile.

* Then she placed herself under a deodorant
sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the
Trick', and I could hardly contain myself.

* BUT, your Honour, when she moved the fourth
time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear
Rubber could have prevented this Accident'

...I just lost it.

'CASE DISMISSED!!'
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Remember those French that said they were going to "smash the hell out of the American Team" at The Olympics...Well Sir...here be some French Olympians in training.....who By The Way...LOST THE GOLD. Arrogant frogs......haven't learned yet that "Pride goeth before a fall."


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Ya just gotta love Southerners.....

Tennessee

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying
an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help. He called her into his office and said,
You graduated from the University of Tennessee and
I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%,
how much would you take off.

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied
"Every thing but my earrings'.
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Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired
off into twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
'Where's Henry?' the others asked.

'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles
back up the trail,' the successful hunter replied.'

You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?'
they inquired.

'A tough call nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one
is going to steal Henry!'
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Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage
out of his pick--up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are
dumping garbage into the ditch? Don't you see that sign
over your head".

'Yep' he replied. "that's why I'm dumpin' it here, cause
it says "Fine For Dumping Garbage'.
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South Carolina

You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never
heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North.
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Well Sir, I was just talkin with my good amiga, Susan Gertson frum the great State of Texas and was tellin her about The Civil War Camp Pork & Beans I make fer big gatherins here at the hacienda. She asked me for the recipe, which I gladly sent her, but it occurred to me that some of Y'all out there might also want to try some Pork & Beans that has more Pork in it than beans.

This recipe is based on a method and amounts of real Civil War Pork & Beans when this was the evening meal and had to fill the men up and give them a meal that was nutritional, as well as great tasting. Obviously, these ingredients are more modern, but the method and amounts are equivalent.

BTW, everyone that has ever had this has absolutely loved it, and I've never had even one mouthful left when the day is over....

Civil War Camp Pork & Beans

Ingredients (adjust according to amount of meat):

• 2-5# cans Van deCamps (or whatever brand of beans y'all like) baked beans.
• 5-10 pounds boneless country style pork ribs (enough to fill up a 9X13 baking pan)
• 3 small cans tomato sauce (or substitute catsup or BBQ sauce)
• 1/2 cup vinegar or to taste
• 1 and 1/2 cups brown sugar
• 2 clove garlic freshly pressed
• 2 finely chopped onion
• Black pepper to taste
• Pinch red pepper
* I also added 2 cups of Maple Syrup to the Pork & Beans later in the recipe.

Trim the fat off the meat. Combine the tomato sauce, vinegar, brown sugar, garlic, onion, black & red pepper. Mix the meat in the sauce until it is well coated. Let it marinate in this sauce over night. Place the meat into a baking pan and bake in oven at 300° for approximately 3 hours or until the meat flakes apart. When done take meat out of pan and let cool. Pull (do not cut ) the meat apart into small chunks.

Pour one can a the Pork & Beans inta a very large aluminum bakin pan (or use 2 pans if'n ya needs to), pour 1 cup of the Maple Syrup into the Pork & Beans and mix in. Now Sir...put the pulled pork meat and any left over marinade onto this layer of beans.

Now...pour the other can a Pork & Beans, and the other cup of Maple Syrup over this, mix in, and put it back inta the oven and bake fer 1 hour at 350 degrees.

Top with chopped onion and chopped crispy bacon. Serve with hot rolls or biscuits. Mmmmm Mmm.....
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Yupper, now here's a pretty good incentive to drink milk....


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OBAMA FAN

A teacher in Elmira , New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.

Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher,
all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...again.

Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not an Obama fan.'

The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you an Obama fan?'

Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Republican.'

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.'

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked,

'If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, ' That would make me an Obama fan.'