S'more Friday Funnies........

RED STATE UPDATE:


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Well Sir...we'll begin with some comparisons between Republican women-folk and Democrat women-folk....











































Hmmmm.....it's purdy darn sad when Democrat Janet Reno looks the best outta all the Dem's....
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Yupper....In the "Kids say the darnedest things" Department we have....

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says.

A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered,' she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

'Well,' she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... but before he could say 'Fuck!' the Rottweiler ate him!'

The teacher wet her pants laughing ...
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In the "In Case Ya Ever Wondered Department" as to where the term "The whole nine yards" came from, well now you know.



Here is where the saying "the whole nine yards" originated from.

The WWII P-51D mustang carried 27 feet of ammunition for it's six .50 caliber machine guns.

After returning from a mission a P-51 pilot was asked by his crew chief "did you let 'em have it."

" I let 'em have the whole nine yards" was the pilot's reply.
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...There be some male nudity ahead!

To my friends and family.....

I am letting you know before you hear it from anyone in the family or in the paper {or through the rumor mill} that I have been contacted by a woman who alleges that I am the father of her child.

I do not know whether she wishes to substantiate this by means of a DNA test, however she has sent me a photograph of the child, which bears a very strong & undeniable resemblance to me. On the basis of this photographic evidence I have decided to begin paying child support.


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Recently, Michaelangelo's "David" paid a visit frum Italy to the States for a month. Still think we don't eat too much in the country....



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Well Sir...my new amiga, "Ms. Nikki" frum Upstate, New York did some research and discovered why Naked Men shouldn't skydive.....

Gives a whole new meanin to the term ...."Tally Ho"....



**Sigh** I was black and blue for a week after that, and I didn't know the camera was running......
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Gotta thank "Chicago Charlie", "Fish" frum Kentucky, Clint Griffin from San Diego and Susan Gertson fer some of the above submissions....