Friday, January 14, 2011

Saturday sundries

Gotta get me one of these power tools!


...ahhhh, OK!




Texas Beer Joint Sues Church In Mt. Vernon, Texas

Drummond's Bar began construction on expansion of their building to increase
their business.

In response, the local Baptist church started a campaign to block the
bar from expanding with petitions and prayers.

Work progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when
lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.

After the bar burning to the ground by a lightning strike the church
folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of
prayer", until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the
church" was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building,
either through direct or indirect actions or means".

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all
responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.

The judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's
reply and at the opening hearing he commented, "I don't know how I'm
going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that we have a
bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church
congregation that now does not."

**NOTE** Before I get 27 e-mails telling me they "snoped" this story and found it to be false, this is a JOKE story, not true.

Back in the day, when I was in the Navy and considerably younger, I picked up my date at her Parents’ home.

I’d scraped together enough money to take her to a very nice restaurant.

She ordered the most expensive items on the menu. Shrimp cocktail,
Fillet Mignon and whole Lobster. Champagne.

I asked her, “Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?”

“No,” she replied. “but my mother’s not expecting a blow job tonight.”

I said "enjoy"...