Sunday, December 02, 2007

Just some Monday monkey business... I know, it's still Sunday...but I was bored..

A big old Cookshack THANKS to "Charlie the Cop" frum out Chi-Town way, and my good bubblehead buddy Myron over at Myrons Random Thoughts fer these jokes....

Many of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, almost exactly 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.

This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations. However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of March 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:

Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens screw around with sheep? I certainly hope this piece of information clears up a lot of things for you!

Now here be one a them "Awww SHIT!" situations....

A guy had an interesting experience recently involving an "older" woman he met at a bar.

She looked pretty darn HOT for 62. She was drinking quite a bit, and while they were chatting, she came right out and asked him if he'd ever had a "sportsman's double" - a mother and daughter threesome.

He said no, but she might be able to talk him into it. So she slams back one last drink, wipes her mouth and, looking directly into his eyes, says, "Tonight's your lucky night."

So they go back to her place, she clicks on the hall light right as they enter her place, and she shouts upstairs:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

"Hey Mom! You still awake?"


I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now,
but Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
I LOVE THIS NEXT ONE! My favorite lol...

My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
Blessed are those who can give without remembering
And take without forgetting.
The irony of life is that, by the time
You're old enough to know your way
Around, you're not going anywhere.
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think Of an answer for her first question.
I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Thought for the day

Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant"
is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist".


...Always greatly enjoyed, and got many a good laugh frum Mr. Foster Brooks. I'm sure y'all will as well.....


Coming in Next Post...Dramatic video of a female Suicide Bomber's last moments before goin t'meet Allah.