Sunday, February 03, 2008

Some life lessons....

Well Sir....before we get started with the jocularity, Ms. Gina Elise is gonna be going across the country frum Californy to Walter Reed, and Bethesda Naval Hospitals this friday to cheer up some of our wounded hero's. So if you would, there is still time to buy a Calendar for a Vet, or donate to her cause so she can distribute some good cheer and some of her great pinup calendars to our soldiers....

So please, get on over to Pinups for Vets and make a donation if ya can spare it...and I'm sure we can all spare a little somethin to help our brave Military men and women....

Well Sir... here be a good trainin video fer some of you folks out there as to ...

How Not to get yur Ass Kicked by the Police....



Gotta thank "Charlie the Cop" frum Chicago fer sendin us this gem...and who would know better about this topic than "Charlie the Cop"....and of course...Cookie!

Warning - Do Not Order Mexican Viagra !

Important Bulletin
Many men are buying 'black market' Viagra pills
from Mexican mail-order drug stores.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced that
several of these pharmacies are mixing the Viagra with
ground up Mexican Jumping Beans.

The results can be horrible.
Here is what you get when you combine Viagra
with Mexican Jumping Beans


Grandpa discover's Viagra...

Grandma and Grandpa were driving from Washington state to Florida to attend their grandson's graduation from medical school.

Halfway through their trip, they stopped to visit their son in Kansas for a night. Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in the medicine cabinet.

He asked his son about using one of the pills.

The son said, 'I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive.'

How much?' asked Grandpa.

'Around $10.00 a pill,' answered the son.

I don't care,' said Grandpa, 'I'd still like to try one. We'll be leaving early in the morning, so I'll put the money under the pillow.'

Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow.

He immediately called Grandpa on his cell phone and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."

'I know,' said Grandpa. 'The hundred is from Grandma.'

We men will never change......


BELIEVE it or not - These are REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired
of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have
an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is ..........
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
Caller: Running from the Police.

...This is one tough kid...but he's definately gonna need some Preparation H...

**Click to Enlarge if'n ya cain't read it.**