Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I think there be a great reason here to post-pone the Weddin plans...

Well Sir....Susan Gertson from Texas sent me this first video and I'm sure y'all will find it as funny as I did...


...and thanks fer this one also Susan.....


A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Hillary Clinton . That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again.. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't made love for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'


I've posted this one before...but since it makes so much sense, and is TRUE, I'm goin t'post it again.....

The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's term was Political Correctness.

The winner wrote:

'Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.'

...and the good "Chief" sends us this one.....

When my wife got home from work last night, she demanded that I take her out to some place "expensive"...

Photobucket Photobucket

So, I took her to a gas station!!!!

Yupper...always knew that the Chief had a lot of "Class".....

Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs

The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine early each morning.
As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores.

As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine.

One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived.

'Hello!...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello!'

For a long while, there was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is anyone down there?'

Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, singing . . ..

'Vote for Barack Obama! - Vote for Barack Obama!'

Snow White fell to her knees, crossed herself and prayed,

'Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive...


...and the "Chief" informed me as to just why he doesn't shop at Wal-Mart's anymore....

New Features in Wal-Mart

The new Super Wal-Mart has an automatic water mist-spray to
keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of
distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you go to the bread case, it smells like grandma's fresh
baked bread.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and
enjoy the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle
and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.