Monday...some wisdom, some funnies, and the "Fightin Fwench".

Well Sir...we'll begin with some words of wisdom from the late, great Will Rogers....

"An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."

"Try to live your life so that you wouldn't be afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."

“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”


“Income taxes have made more liars out of the American people than golf.”

_________________________________

Hmmm...Well Sir...the Cookie is gonna have t'give this try.... Thanks "Chicago Charlie"..

The Ziploc Omlet....


_______________________________________

Now here be some real simple math fer Y'all......

HUSBAND'S LETTER

A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining
room table:

'To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 60 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you, and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 20-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

Please don't be upset - I shall be back home before midnight.'

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the
dining room table:

'To My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty. About my being 60 years old: I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 60 years old.

As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you're at the Comfort Inn, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, he is 20 years old. As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 20 goes into 60 a lot more times than 60 goes into 20.

Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.'
_______________________________________

Yet anuther reason why y'all should NEVER trust a woman....


_________________________________________

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to get him well."

Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver.

Not able to do anything except wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his beer. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, "I do. What's wrong with him this time?"

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says,

"Oh, nothing, but you left your Injun running."

I KNOW....Groaner!

____________________________________

Scientists Discover Water on Mars!


____________________________________

Marine Corps Mouse.......


_________________________________




__________________________________________

Can we say "Shitty"....


_______________________________________

If this weren't so tragic...it'd be funny....


http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,23943890-12335,00.html


Those great "Fightin Fwench"

17 injured by live amo at open day

FOUR people including a child were in a critical condition today after live bullets were used instead of blanks during a French special forces open day, army and regional officials said.

Seventeen people were injured in total.

Fifteen civilians and two soldiers were injured in the incident, of which the details remained unclear, involving a demonstration by members of a marines parachute regiment of hostage liberation exercises, a regional authority, Bernard Lemaire, said.

Four of the 17 were seriously injured, with two described as critical following "incomprehensible'' scenes at the barracks near Carcassone, in the country's south-west.

According to local authorities, five children were among the injured.

Five helicopters, 11 firefighters' first-aid vehicles and two ambulances rushed to the scene to help the injured.

One soldier had been detained, although no explanation was immediately forthcoming for why the wrong ammunition was loaded into weapons.
___________________________________