Thursday, December 16, 2010

How important is sex (or Golf fer that matter)?

Is sex work?

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.

While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep, so he was a little tired.

He next posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"

A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50%-50%.

A Lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion.

Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."

The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked, "how so"?

"Well, sir, It should go without saying, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

The room fell silent.

God Bless the enlisted man
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The hottest new toy in the Muslim community, a Talking Doll. Nobody knows fer sure what it says cause nobody's got the balls to pull the string!


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My buddy Patrick frum over at PRH sent me this one.

A young man named Dave received a parrot
as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an
even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude,
obnoxious and laced with profanity. Dave
tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by
consistently saying only polite words, playing
soft music and anything else he could think of
to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, Dave was fed up and he yelled at the
parrot. The parrot yelled back.Dave shook
the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even
more rude. Dave in desperation, threw up his
hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the
freezer. For a few minutes the parrot
squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep
was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, Dave quickly
opened the door to the freezer. The parrot
calmly stepped out onto Dave's outstretched
arms and said "I believe I may have offended
you with my rude language and actions. I'm
sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate
transgressions and I fully intend to do
everything I can to correct my rude and
unforgivable behavior."

Dave was stunned at the change in the bird's
attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had
made such a dramatic change in his behavior,
the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I
inquire as to what the turkey did?"
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How t'make yur marriage wurk!