Sunday, April 03, 2011

Sunday sundries...

Breaking News:

Beginning in early 2011 gas stations will start
showing PORN movies on the screens of the pumps so that
you can watch someone else get screwed at the same time
that you are !!!

Have A GREAT Day

Some financial planning.....

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "But in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million".

"Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Gotta Thank Patrick fer this one.....

Guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says,

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to
the man, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says,” 168."

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space
exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but
he is curious...So he goes back into the bar.

The robot bartender
says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says,
"What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "100."

The robot then
starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and Farmall Tractors .

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will
try it one more time.

He goes back into the bar.

robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini," and the
robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, "What's
your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans
in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"