..of Pigs... Men...and southern Huntin Ethics....

ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS

Last Tuesday, as President Bush got off the Helicopter in front of
the White House, he was carrying a baby pig under each arm.

The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says:
"Nice pigs, sir."

The President replies "These are not pigs, these are authentic
Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Senator Hillary Clinton and I got
one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi."

The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and says,
"Excellent trade, sir."

The Why's of Men....

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T MEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know....it never happened)
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

And the personal favourite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face
and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart.


...and some southern Huntin Ethics....

Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway in rural Louisiana on the opening day of deer season. They both spotted a large trophy class buck meandering towards them.

As the one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly by. The hunter lowered his gun, took off his hat and stood with his head bowed until the procession was past. Of course by then, the deer was long gone.

The other hunter exclaimed "Wow! That was the most sportsmanlike act I've ever seen! You allowed this trophy buck to escape while showing such compassion and kindness toward someone's dearly departed. You are a great humanitarian and a shining example to sportsmen throughout the world!"

The first hunter nodded and said, "Well, we were married for 42 years."

HAT TIP: to Sue Gertson frum Eagle Lake, Texas.... fer sendin these jokes along t'me....