Thursday, February 07, 2008

T'is Friday mates....

Well Sir...we'll start with this eries of photygraffs sent to me by CSSSCC frum Tampa, FL. as to just how scary this new roller-coaster in Ohio is....

Ohio Roller Coaster

Be sure to go all the way to the last picture.

New Ohio Roller Coaster At Cedar Point!!

Last picture says it all...


"The Love Dress"

A mother stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the
door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked and in a sexually provocative pose. Soft music was playing in the romantically low light, and the aroma of a subtle exotic/erotic perfume filled the room.

'What the hell are you doing?' she asked.

'I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work,' the daughter-in-law answered.

'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.

'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.

'Love dress? But you're naked!'

'Mike loves me to wear this dress, ' she explained. 'It excites him to no end.
Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages
me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me.'

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her
best perfume, and dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, laid on the couch
waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in
and saw her lying there so provocatively.

What the hell are you doing?' he queried.

'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.

'Needs ironing,' he said. 'What's for dinner?

He never saw the lamp that hit him....

Well old buddy Clint Griffin frum out San Diego way (he's one of sane one's still left out Californy way..), sent me this comical...but somewhat true...outline of various Military Duties and Rules...

Clint is an old that might explain why he still has some sanity and an enviable amount of common sense opposed to all the other nutcases that infested Californy...especially those "Code Pink" jerks and idiots frum Berkely...

Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a '4.'
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEALs Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedos.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask 'What the hell is a gunfight?'
5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink lots of Coffee.
3. Good naturedly... bust Marines balls...
4. Set ship's course through the absolute roughest weather/sea's in the area.
5. Roll on deck laughing hysterically at the Sea-Sick Marines.
6. Deploy the still sick Marines
7. Drink more Coffee

Subject: Joliet Blonde

A young blonde woman in Joliet, Illinois, was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the I&M canal. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock, crying.

He took pity on her and said, 'Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day.'

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and added, 'I'll keep you happy,and you'll keep me happy .'The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the ships captain.

'What are you doing here?' the captain asked.

'I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,' she explained. 'I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me.'

'He certainly is,' the captain said.

'This is the Empress Casino, and we never leave the pier in Joliet!

...and...a little birdie told me that they saw this here sign yesterday out in front of "The Chief's" house after he got hit with a ton of snow over the past few days...


Bad Santa BUSTED....

...and that's anuther reason they give "Department Store Santa's" such long beards...

HAT TIPs TO: "Charlie The Cop", "Fish", and Clint Griffin.