Saturday....

Breaking News: Spitzer's hooker holds press conference....


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MightyMom frum over at My Wonderful Life sent me a note and photygraff t'day about what her piggy bank looked like after buyin some gas fer her car....

"Look at my piggy bank after I bought gas today."


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Here t'is folks...frum "Charlie the Cop"...the "Three Minute Management Course" y'all been waitin fer....

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his
wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell
rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and
runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there
stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a
word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front
of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and
leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her
husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next
door neighbor,' she replies. Great!' the husband says,
'Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story : If you share critical
information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed
her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The
priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the
car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun
said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129.' The priest
removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his
hand slide up her leg again. The nun once
again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129.' The priest
apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and
went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the
priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go
forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
your job, you might miss a great opportunity

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager
are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil
lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out. The genie
says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me
first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be
in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care
in the world.' POOF! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!'
says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my
life.' POOF! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the genie
says to the manager and he says, 'I want those two
back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
first say.

Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit
sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of
a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate
it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very high up

Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to
be able to get to the
top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't
got the energy.' Well, why don't you nibble on some
of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed
with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung,
and found it actually gave him enough strength to
reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was
proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was
promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the
tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the
top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a
large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay
there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him
out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began
to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird
singing and came to investigate. Following the sound,
the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

This ends the 3-minute management course.
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...and anuther wise anectdote frum MightyMom.....

Who's your best friend? …….Your Dog.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who's really happy to see you?
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