Tuesday Tidbits...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captian speaking. I would like eveyone to look out the left side of the aircraft as there is absolutley nothing to see on the right side....."

"Who us? We've been in the bed of the truck the whole time Officer..."

"That was the funniest joke I ever heard!!!"

"OK girls, just follow me..I won't let anything happen to you."
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Oooopps...ah..hi BOB (Who knows who BOB is?)...


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Caution: The below photygraffs are of an actual Polar Bear attack... and may be considered by some to be too graphic and violent!

These are pictures of an actual polar bear attack in Churchill, Manitoba & were taken while people watched and did nothing to stop the attack .

Incredible reports from the local newspaper say that the victim will make a full recovery.

** Click on Pic's to enlarge if'n ya have to.**

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"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it." (B. Obama)
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Now Sir...there be some truth in these here numberrs matey....

You Do The Math...

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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