Tuesday Tidbits....

HOW DO YOU SLOW DOWN A HOOKER FROM GOING TOO FAST???????







PUT A GOVERNOR ON HER !!!!!!



Now Sir...I especially picked this photygraff of "Mr." Spitzer so that y'all could have some fun writing a caption fer it....
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OK...lets highlight a few comedic scene's regardin "Women Drivers"...and NO...I'm NOT fightin with my better half..... funny is funny..


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...Just in case ya wuz ever thinkin of screwin around with a Presidential motorcade....

Have you ever wondered what all those extra SUVs are in the Presidential or VIP motorcades? You know, the ones with blacked windows that no one gets in or out of.

Well, wonder no more. They have a 6 barreled 7.62 mm mini gun.
They fire over 4,000 rounds per minute The wipers need to be run to remove spent casings when the weapon is firing.

This video is from the company that makes this happen. The vehicle is also armor plated.




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...and Susan Gertson sends us a story about a mighty smart cab driver....

The Cheatin' Wife …

A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at
the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked
the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having
an affair, and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed.

Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and the cabby tiptoed into the
bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back and
there was his wife in bed with another man.

The husband put a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouted, 'Don't
do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I told you I
inherited money. He paid for the Corvette I gave you. He paid for our
new cabin cruiser. He paid for your season Pittsburgh Steeler tickets.
He paid for our house at the lake. He paid for our country club
membership, and he even pays for the monthly dues!'

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband slowly lowered the gun..
He looked over at the cabby and said, 'What would you do?'
The cabby said, " I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches a
cold.."
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...and a very smart Farmer....

Protecting the Chickens!

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway but, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.

So one day Farmer John called the sheriff’s office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."

"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.

"I don't care; just do something about those crazy drivers!"

So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said:

SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster."

So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign:

SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

that really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?"

The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign."

He was going to let the Farmer John do just about
anything in order to get him to stop calling everyday to complain.

The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John. Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"

"Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I’m very busy."

He hung up the phone.

The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers..."

So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood:

NUDIST COLONY - Go slow and watch out for chicks!!


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