Friday, August 15, 2008

Saturday Sundries.....

Well Sir...my good friend Davey Brown sends us this here question.

NAME THIS TUNE!



OK....are Y'all ready...???

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MOON RIVER!
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Well Sir...we'll continue with new Billboards recently observed around the country....













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OK Ladies....here's one I'm sure Y'all will enjoy...

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how
is everything going?' inquired God.

'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets
are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I
have just one problem.

It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other
two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on
branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain,' reported
Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came
in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc...she felt that having only
two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.

'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this,
you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed
only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right
away.'

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.


'Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?'

'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the
animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All
the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'

God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you. Let's see...where did I put the useless
boob?'

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?
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RECORD HIGH JUMP FROM A KNEELING POSITION

A new world's record in the high jump from a kneeling position was set last week at a beach in southern France.

This picture was taken just two seconds before the jump took place.

Photobucket....PARTIAL NUDITY AHEAD!



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Comments Made in the Year 1955!
That's only 53 years ago!

'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00.'

'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one.'

'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.

'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?'

'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.'

'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.'

'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.'

'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it.'

'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.'

'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.'

'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.'

'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.'

'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.'

'Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.'

'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.'

'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.'

'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.'

'There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.'

'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood.'

'If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'
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Two Women Meeting In Heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Jane.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Kelly. How'd you die?

1st woman: I Froze to Death.

2nd woman: How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. "What about you?"

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then, I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted,
that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer, then we'd both still be alive!
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And finally....After watchin this here next video, which was taken by a National Geographic Documentary team in the Arctic....I might just start t'believe in "Man Made Global Warmin....."

Here's the first believable evidence....


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