Tuesday.....

Again, Thank You all who inquired about my health....I must admit, I was overwhelmed by your concerns and messages.....

A big old Cookshack HAT-TIP to Susan Gertson, "Charlie the Cop", CSSSCC frum Tampa, and Patrick frum ...prh...A Day in the Life, fer some of these here funnies....
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Hmmmm.....

...**Click to Enlarge**
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The robot knows....

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual
gimmick His wife Marsha has long ago given up trying to get him to
change.

One day, John came home about noon and told Marsha that he had gone to a
nearby city and purchased a Robot. It was no ordinary robot, but it was
in fact a Lie Detector. He said it had to charge 4 or 5 hours, and then
he would show her how it worked.

At 5:30 that afternoon, Tommy, their 11 year old son, came in from
school, nearly 2 hours and 15 minutes late. Both parents were
understandably angry.

'Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?', they
asked.

'Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,'
said Tommy.

The Robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him
completely out of his chair.

'Son, this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you went after
school.

'We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.'

'What did you watch?', asked Marsha.

'The Ten Commandments. '

The Robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him
off his chair.With lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, 'I am sorry I lied.

We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.'

'I'm ashamed of you Son,' said John. 'When I was your age, I never lied
to my parents, never tried to see dirty pictures much less dirty movies,
told dirty jokes, nor did I misbehave.'

The robot walked around to John and delivered a roundhouse right that
not only knocked him out of his chair, but out the back door and half
way across the patio.

When he came back inside, Marsha was bent double laughing, almost in
tears. 'Boy, did you ever ask for that one! And you can't be too mad
with Tommy. After all, He is your son!'

The Robot immediately walked around to Marsha, and literally slapped the
shit out of her three times.
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Ya...but do they grow and bloom?? I wonder if'n they come in Long Stemmed?


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Now Sir...here's one Marine...er..I mean MUSLIM y'all won't see in Iraq....


_______________________________

Well Sir...as most of y'all already know, the Cookie has always been an avid fisherman...and as such, I've always used STREN Fishin line...as I find it to be one of the most relaible....Here's why.....

The Stren Line company recently sponsored a swimsuit competition.

The only requirement was that the swimsuit be held up by fishing line.
Here is the winner :

It's held in place with clear fish line
This years winner --- 2008 --- World's smallest [legal] swimsuit.

...PARTIAL NUDITY AHEAD!






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Mama Ain't Playin'

Looks like Mama is going to make him stand out there for a long time!
Ought to be a pretty good lesson, one not easily forgotten!
He doesn't look very happy, like, maybe the lesson is already working, huh?

Be sure to see all 3 pictures .





We need more people like her...

YOU GO MOM !!!

NOW, OF COURSE THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME PEOPLE WHO WILL CALL THIS 'CHILD ABUSE' OR 'CRUELTY TO CHILDREN'.
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Although she's all but out of the race...there's always room at The Cookshack fer some good "Hillary" jokes....Here be A roundup of Hillary jokes....

Some good ones here

"Chelsea Clinton tried to help her mother attract the gay vote in Pennsylvania by visiting several lesbian bars. That's true, yeah. Yeah, when asked to comment afterwards, Chelsea said, `I've never seen so many women with my mom's haircut.'" -Conan O'Brien

"Hillary Clinton was shown at a bar in Indiana drinking a beer, and doing a shot of whiskey. Hey, and it worked. Today, Ted Kennedy switched back. `I'm for Hillary now!'" -Jay Leno

"Did you all see that? She took the shot with the beer chaser. Did it like an old pro. To give you an idea how much she drank, when the phone rang at 3 am, slept right through it." -Jay Leno

"Big shake-up in the Hillary Clinton campaign. This is huge. Yesterday - true story - Hillary Clinton's top adviser abruptly left her campaign. When he heard about it, Bill Clinton said, `Wait, we can leave?'" -Conan O'Brien

"Poor Hillary. She went on my friend Jay Leno's show last night. She's still trying to put that whole Bosnia sniper fire thing behind her. She said, `It's been so long since I've been pinned down by anyone.'" -Bill Maher

"Hillary Clinton was in Philadelphia, where she told the crowd she is like the movie character Rocky. Now, if I remember the movie correctly, doesn't Rocky get the crap beat out of him and then he loses to the black guy?" -Jay Leno

"Are you familiar with the Hillary Clinton 3 a.m. phone call commercial that she's been running? Well, she's got another one of those, and the phone rings at 3 a.m., Hillary answers the phone, she picks it up, and she says "Stop bothering me, President Obama!" -David Letterman

"This weekend, Bill Clinton said Hillary should not drop out of the presidential race. Yeah, when asked why, Bill said, `Because then she'd come home.'" -Conan O'Brien

"Hillary was caught in a bit of a lie. When she was first lady, she went to Bosnia when it was war-torn. She said that she faced sniper fire - never happened. And had to run to the car for cover - never happened. If only she had channeled that active fantasy world into her marriage." -Bill Maher

"Have you been following the story about Reverend Wright, Barack Obama's pastor? Hillary said if her pastor had made the comments that Reverend Wright had made, she would have left that church. Interesting distinction she makes. She also says if her pastor had been bl### by Monica Lewinsky, she would have stayed." -Bill Maher

"Hillary now says that she just made an honest mistake when she said she had to duck sniper fire in Bosnia. There was no hostile fire of any kind. Although, ironically, while she was away, Bill Clinton did see some action." -Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton has been hinting that she and Barack Obama might share the Democratic ticket with her in the number one position. She feels Barack Obama deserves some sort of consolation prize for getting the most votes and being the most popular." -Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton is back in the hunt for the Democratic nomination. She won do-or-die primaries in Ohio, Rhode Island, and Texas last night. A lot of people thought she would be done today, but just like Bill always says, Hillary does not go down without a fight." -Jimmy Kimmel

"There have been charges of foul play from both sides. Obama has accused Clinton of smearing him by implying that he's a Muslim or Muslim-sympathizer, and Clinton has accused Obama and his people of trying to dump a bucket of water on her and make her melt." -Jimmy Kimmel

"Hillary criticized Obama so strongly that at one point he yelled at her. He just said, `Hey, easy, lady, we're not married'" -David Letterman

"Hillary Clinton's campaign is trying to embarrass Barack Obama. Have you seen this? They have circulated pictures of Obama wearing tribal dress. Obama wanted to strike back, but there are no pictures of Hillary wearing a dress." -Craig Ferguson

"Things aren't looking good for Hillary. Like a lot of women in Washington, I think she's just starting to realize she may have slept with Bill Clinton for nothing." -Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton continually reminds voters that she has been tested. Which makes sense. You never know what Bill might have brought home." -Jay Leno

"Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton had a private talk. Did you hear about this? They had a private discussion. They agreed to stop attacking each other so harshly. Hillary told Barack, `We should pretend to like each other, just like Bill and I do.'" -Conan O'Brien

"On the eve of Tuesday's primary victories, a defiant Hillary Clinton said, `I'm just getting warmed up.' Which begs the question, `Hey, Hillary, how are you gonna be ready on day one if it takes you 31 primaries to get warmed up.'" -Seth Meyers
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