Now Sir...This guy speaks my language... and fer me as well...

...AND.. fer those of you this might offend... well...MERRY CHRISTMAS anyhow...





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....and this was just too good not to stea...er...borrow frum Signal94....





In Hot Pursuit

Top this for a speeding ticket...

Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident while checking for speeding motorists on the A1 Great North Road. One of the officers used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300 mph.

Their radar suddenly stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it. Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact latched on to a Tornado fighter jet which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border district, approaching from the North Sea.

Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint to the RAF Liaison office.

Back came the reply in true laconic RAF style:

"Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it.

Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment. Fortunately the pilot flying the Tornado recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile systems alert status, and was able to override the automated defence system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar installation was destroyed.

Good Day..."

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...and here be a real cute Christmas wish fer Y'all...sent t'me by Susan Gertson frum down Texas way...and Very Merry Christmas back atcha Missy.....

Y'all TURN YUR SOUND ON.....

http://www.thecompassgroup.biz/merryxmas.swf
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...And...my buddy Sig sent me this real great Winter Poem that was sent to him...and I wanna share it with Y'all so's that ya get an idear just how much class Sig has got....

I found this beautiful winter poem and thought it might be a comfort to you.

It was to me, and it's very well written.
ENJOY!

" WINTER "

a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre




"SHIT!! It's freakin Cold..."
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MORNING SEX:

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. He walked in.. She turned and said, You've got to make love to me this very moment.'

His eyes lit up and he thought,'This is my lucky day. Not wanting to lose the moment, he embr aced her and then gave it his all....right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asked,'What was that all about?'

She explained, 'The egg timer is broken'
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...and a big Thanks to Sig and Charlie the Cop fer sendin a couple of these here jokes along to the Cookie man....