Saturday, November 18, 2006

Sunday Sundries.. some photygraphs fer y'all t'chuckle at...

Beginnin with the age old query..."Does a Bear...?"

...and then others prefer...

Man..this gave me some real great idear's.. and tickles my funny bone t'boot...

Mr. and Mrs. Abel are retired, and Mrs. Abel insists her husband go with her to Wal-Mart,
but he gets bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out,
but Mrs. Abel loves to browse.

Here's a letter sent to Mrs Abel by the Wal-Mart management folks...

Dear Mrs. Abel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you
from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Abel are listed below.

Things Mr. Abel has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's cart's when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed, "NO ! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ...

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"


Friday, November 17, 2006

OK ladies... a way to get yur man t'clean the entire house...

Thursday, November 16, 2006

A Perfect scratch Stuffin (Dressing) Recipe', Easy t'make.. it's my gift to you..

Well I knows that just about every family has their own favorite Stuffin recipe fer the holidays...but ever now and's good t'try sumthin new...and sumthin y'all just might like better....

Now Sir...I been a makin this here family recipe fer nigh onta forty years...and my mother made it fer forty years afore that...and so y'all get the picture. Now in that time I've always been asked fer this here recipe by folks who tatsted it fer the first time...and always been glad t'give it to here's my Holiday Gift to Y'all....

Well mam...we got us a pretty large family...and this here great tastin recipe is in large quantities ( will stuff a 23-25 pound bird) y'all might just have to "downsize" the bread to 2 loaves, celery to 5 or 6, and onions a might to meet yur own family's needs...but trust'll be well worth yur time...yes sir...well worth it...

A Perfect Scratch Stuffing Recipe’

3 Loafs Bread
7 stalks of Celery-chopped
3 large onions-chopped
3 full sticks of Butter
3 cans of Campbell’s Cream of Chicken Soup
3 cans of Campbell’s Cream of Celery Soup
Bell’s Seasonings.

Three days before making the stuffing, spread all the bread slices out on trays to become completely dry. This is important as it adds to the fine flavor....and the dried bread completely soakes up all the flavors.

On the day you are going to make the stuffing, cut the bread slices into cubes…or break apart into a very large bowl…whichever you find easier.

Melt all the butter in a large skillet and saute’ the chopped onions and celery until tender. Pour the entire mixture over and into the bread cubes and mix.

Next, mix all the soups into the bread mixture…mix well.

Add the Bell’s Seasoning to your taste.

OPTIONAL: If you want…you can also fry up some pan sausage, drain well and add to the mixture.

Stuff your turkey properly with stuffing mixture and cook as usual. Take any remaining stuffing mix and place into a baking dish. This can be baked later at 350 degree’s for about 30 minutes, or until top is golden brown.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Must be an Upstate NY woman.... I think I've met her...

Well Sir...this embed is R if'n that offends ya...just don't watch...and besides...its the first I've been able to here goes. Oh...and BTW...a Hat-Tip to Myron over at Myron's Mind Meanderings fer showin me how its done....

McD's best customer..A most interestin tree.. and some good ol Maxine t'day.....

Now Sir...this here tree in the next photygraph must be in trouble an awful lot...cause many men get in trouble with just one....

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Never fails duz it?

Well Sir...we finally get someone in the UN that ain't a feared of speakin his mind...and has the C.A.Jones (or as Michelle would say...Balls) to tells it like it is....and the Dummicrats want t'take him out....No Sir...never fails. I found the followin links over at Michelle Malkin's place.....

Now mam...if'n ya really like Mr. Bolton...and wanna help try and get him confirmed as the U.S. Ambassador to the UN...y'all can go here ...

...or y'all can go down to my sidebar to the "Blogging for Bolton" on it...and it'll tell ya what t'do frum there.....'n ya wanna do what I did...ya can be a puttin this same thing on yur blog.....just foller the directions....

Thanks....the Cookie Man.....

Monday, November 13, 2006

Don't cheat on yur woman.. or at least don't get caught. + Michelle Malkin's got Balls...

"Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned"......

....and speakin of women with Balls...Michelle Malkin got bleeped on O'Reilly last night. Check it out on this video link to Hot Air...

I'm gonna start callin her by a new name... C.A.Jones, ....think about it....

" got some splainin to do"... and other frivolous things...

Sunday, November 12, 2006

A Sunday Pork Roast....

Tenderizing and Cooking a great Pork Loin Roast....

Many folks ask me just how I get my pork roasts to come out so tender and tastey…well sir…several years back these real good friends of ours…Chris & Bill Kimber… shared their method of just how they be a doin it…and it works every time it does….here tis…

1) Place yur roast inta a large kitchen type plastic baggie (or not.. if’n ya don’t have one handy), and…with a “Meat Mallet”…beat the living hell outta that roast until its much more tender than when ya started.

2) Rub the roast with a mixture of:

9 Garlic cloves (Finely Chopped),
1 Tablespoon Brown Sugar,
1 Tablespoon Hungarian Paprika (or regular will do just as well),
3/4 Tablespoon of Black Pepper.

3) Pre-heat yur oven to 500 degree’s….that’s right…500 degrees.

4) Put yur roast on a bakin rack and then inta a bake’n pan…place it inta the pre-heated oven for 20-25 minutes (till its nicely browned).

5) Remove from oven..put meat thermometer inta the thickest part of the
Roast and return it to oven.

6) Lower oven temperature to 325 degrees…cook roast till meat is done…about 180-185 degree’s.

Serve up with a nice batch a mashed taters & gravy and ENJOY!