A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!

Good Morning to everyone and to everyone a Very Merry Christmas !!

First thing this AM got this E-mail frum me buddy "Deke" frum down Tennessee way. Deke was dream'n of a white Christmas and got it. Here be the E-mail and pic he sent me.

"Hey Cookie, It is snowing here on Christmas day thirty minutes north of Chattanooga Tenn.We have not had snow on Christmas since 1969.More global warming.Merry Christmas Cookie.Hope you have a great day."


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A not unusual sentiment regard'n Global Warm'n.












My daughter Susan (the Blonde mentioned below) went to the Post Office Office the other day t'get some stamps fer her Christmas cards....



...and again, to all......

T'was the day afore Christmas.

T'is the season. Watch out fer this new sobriety test mates, especially you old Gyrenes.


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What if Jesus were born in this modern age??


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How to Identify a Meth-Lab!


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Sometimes I get bored.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Cookie,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Cookie, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
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CUTE! Ventriloquist without a dummy.


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I just love it when justice wins out!!

This is really one for the books. Make sure you read the whole thing.

This took place in Charlotte North Carolina . A lawyer purchased a box of
very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other
things, fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars,
the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.'

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the
man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued and WON!

(Stay with me.)

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the
claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a
policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were
insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,
without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was
obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of
the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested
on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony
from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of
intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months
in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award
contest.

ONLY IN AMERICA ....

NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS AMERICANS ARE NUTS!

Been there, Done that!

This is a great example of false accusations being made against a Police Officer. The saving grace here is that the entire incident was on tape from a dashboard video camera in the police unit, and showed that the complainant, an Islamic woman wearing a Burqa completely lied about the entire incident.

When I was on the force we didn't have the benefit of these career saving dashboard camera's to save our ass's from complaints like these. Many a good police officer suffered career damage because of bogus complaints like these. Internal Affairs had a tendency to side on the favor of the civilian. I'm sure "Sig" can relate to these type of situations as much as I can.



"Your call mate!"


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"Hi Jack"!

I'm getting so sick and tired of this "intellectual secular idiocy" in our school systems.

BUT FIRST.......

My neighbors, the two lesbians next door that I have spoken about often, asked me what I would like for Christmas.
























I was quite surprised, when they gave me a Timex! It was very nice of them, but I'm pretty sure that they misunderstood me, when I said:

"I wanna watch !"

Gotta thank my old HS buddy John Keating fer that one.
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Janet Napolitano (DHS) requested that we all be observant for Suspicious activity at Walmart!


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**SIGH**. Y'all simply ALL must go over to Blowing Sanitary #1 and read what happened to 10 high school students who came to school wearing Christmas sweaters and were singing (heaven forbid), Christmas Carols while handing out Candy Canes. Believe me, this story is a great example of secularism and PC to extremes. I had t'take an extra blood pressure pill after reading about the way these fine young students were treated by their school.

I have maintained for many years that after the college students of the 60's and early 70's got done throwing their juvenile temper tantrums with riots, sit-ins, and protests of every sort, because someone said NO to them for one of the first times in their lives, they continued on with their educations and eventually, like Bill Ayers ( a personal friend of Obozo and a 60's radical that bombed police station killing a sergeant), became college professors and subtly and quietly began teaching their poison secularism, and that America was a bad country to our college youth. While we were struggling to make a living and raise our families, God was, and has been taken taken out of our schools and government sectors, producing people like Bill Maher and his atheist, irreverent ilk.

We are seeing the results of this today in both our present college professors and those present day elementary, middle school and high school teachers, who profess and promote their secular, anti-American and liberal agenda's to today's youth. Upon talking with my grand children on several occasions regarding American history, I found they had NOT been taught a great many things about the Revolutionary War, WWII or any of our battles for the freedoms we have enjoyed for years. What they DID know about was all the BAD things about America, slavery, the horrible Indian campaigns and the unjust things done to Native Americans. They knew all about the travesties of the Civil Rights movements of the 50's & 60's, and the murders committed by racist Ku Klux Klan members on both white and black people alike. They knew all about Watergate and a corrupt President Nixon. The list goes on. They had not been taught about the generosity of the American people helping other countries in need at times of crisis and how our brave men and women died making other nations free. The lessons about America were totally unbalanced, in favor of the negative.

Our children have now been taught for at least two generations of all the undeniably bad things and mistakes this country has made throughout or history. There is almost NO sense of national pride or patriotism in many of our youth of today. We, the folks reading this article at this moment must also take a goodly share of this blame for not having taught, talked about and informed our children while at home of the good in America and instilling some sense of patriotism and loyalty to our great nation.

I suspect that one would probably find that a large percentage of those fine young men and women who are presently serving in the Military in Afghanistan and Iraq probably had a parent or grandparent who was past military and would talk with them at home about the nobility of this nation and how we got and maintained our freedoms for over 250 years.

As parents and grand-parents, it's time to step up. Time for grandparents like myself to begin telling our grandchildren and great grandchildren the things they are not hearing or learning about in school, but, like I always say, I could be wrong.

Feel free to leave comments as to what you think can be done, and must be done to reverse this trend.

OK, that's Cookie's rant fer the week.

An ALL humor ADULTS ONLY POST. (Got some real good ones in this post)

FULL FRONTAL NUDITY AHEAD!!


Now Sir, fer all you hunters who didn't get yur Whitetail this here past Deer Season, it might be cause you really didn't know, or fergot, what a Whitetail looked like, so here be a reminder of just what a Whitetail looks like.
























The history of of mankind summed up in one photygraff.


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WHOA! Now this is my kinda female reporter impersonating a "Gobbler".!!


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...and now, "for the rest of the story",

Subject: No Nativity Scene in Washington

There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington this year! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States Capital this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capitol. A search for a Virgin continues. There was no problem however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

And that's the way it is....
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This guy is Alvaro Alfonso de Miranda Neto:



He was married to --- this woman.





Her name is Cibele Dorsa.

She is a Brazilian swimsuit, Victoria 's Secret, and Playboy model.

He divorced her because he fell in love with this woman:






















Those two are very happily married right now.



Some people argue that love is blind.

This story clearly proves it...

It proves that men are capable of real love;
truly seeing a person's inner beauty,
not basing their decisions solely on looks.

Oh, by the way...The new girl is Athena Onassis. She's worth 12 billion dollars.

Kinda brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?
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HOW ABOUT MY DOG???????

GENERAL PUBLIC NOTICE:

Please be advised I am sick to death of receiving questions about my dog who mauled

3 Muslims sitting on a rug next to my back wall,

6 illegal's wearing Obama t-shirts,

4 Democrats wearing Pelosi t-shirts,

2 rappers,

5 phone operators who asked me to press #1 for English,

9 teenagers with their pants hanging down past their cracks,

8 customer service desk people speaking in broken English,

10 flag burners, and

a Pakistani taxi driver.

FOR THE LAST TIME.......

THE DAMN DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !!!"



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I don't wanna say it was pretty damned cold this morn'n but.....


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I personally find the HUGE endowments featured this next video gross and disgusting (seriously) but definately good fer a few laughs.

Where's "Global Warm'n" when ya need it?

I grew up on and lived on Oneida Lake, NY for a vast majority of my life, and consecutively for the past 24 years. In that time, I have known that the lake usually doesn't COMPLETELY freeze over until somewhere between the 10th and 20th of January.

For the past two years in a row, the lake has frozen completely over before Christmas. Usually, there would be freezing around the edges for about 20 feet out into the lake but, as Y'all can see frum these here photygraffs, its totally frozen from shore to shore. Oneida Lake is 27-28 miles long and about 8 miles across at it's widest point (where we are located). This complete freezing is VERY unusual. We also have officially well over 70 inches of snow on the ground making this the snowiest December on record for this area of the country.

Now Sir, this of course will make the snowmobilers and ice fishermen very happy as it will extend their seasons greatly.

Now Sir, the fools who believe in (man made) global warming will of course fall back on the old paradox that "it will get colder before it gets warmer" and this explains all the cold weather and artic storm systems affecting the earth in various locations. My own personal belief is that if global warming is in fact occurring (something I seriously doubt), then it is simply a part of a normal cycle that the earth goes through. I also believe that good con man Al Gore, who became very rich by starting and selling "Carbon Footprint Off-sets" and "Green" stocks basically invented the threat of global warming. But, hey, what do I know, I only possess basic common sense, have read reports written well before "An Inconvenient Truth" that stated the earths climate was in fact cooling, and a background in various sciences.

**Sigh**, this'll boil yur blood, and some funnies.

My good buddy "Charlie The Cop" frum out Chi-Town way sent me this, and although I had watched this ceremony on TV, I hadn't noticed what this commentator noticed. Every day that goes by I despise and detest this man (asshole) more and more.

The Medal of Honor presentation ceremony.


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OK, now, on a much lighter side......


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Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist at Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the shit out of him.
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How to properly hold on while riding the Subway.


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OUCH! That's gonna leave a mark!







Ahhh, maybe y'all outta stick to camels.