The Reason For Memorial Day.... "Lest we Forget"...

The Price of Freedom can be seen both here......and at VA Hospitals.....

Remember their ultimate sacrifices Appropriately...and Respectfully...

May God continue to bless America..... Cookie..

Gotta go write somethin fer the folks that pays me.. be back in two shakes...

Well Sir...this here Cookie gotta take a very short leave of absence fer a spell. Gotta kinda clean up a might and write a little article fer the publication I regularly write fer, New York Fish & Game Magazine...be back right real quick I will...after I manage to get t'my puter...meantime...read or re-read the "Shitty" post below.....Cookie....

..Ohhh Man..I'm in reeeeal deep shit this time..

Well Sir...as of late...several of my close feller bloggers have been humorously nostalgisizin bout funny past experiences in their live...so here's a true account of something I did while stationed about the submarine the USS Piper SS409.....most of you old bubbleheads will probably enjoy this story....and hopefully ....ya won't be able to relate to it frum experience.....

Now...fer you folks that aren't in the know... at first this story might get a little boring and technical...but it's necessary for me to explain some things to y'all so's ya will understand just what was happenin....bear with me please. On the old fleet boats (WWII Submarines)..all the various water and sewage piping drained into the Sanitary Tanks...things like the sinks, showers, coffee urn, heads (toilets), urinals, skuttlebutts (drinking fountains) and few other extraneous systems having to do with water/sewage.

Now Sir...this tank had to be emptied (blown) overboard just about everyday during a certain duty watch...and there was a very explicit way to do this that entailed closing every valve..frum every line and every pipe that ran into the Sanitary tanks throughout the entire Boat....and there was a check-list that y'all had to use to make sure you had in fact closed every single drain valve in the boat.

Once all the drain valves goin to the Sanitary Tanks were closed...the sailor would then proceed to a pressurization station in the After Battery compartment...and open several other valves...one of them being the "Outer" Sanitary Tank valve...this being the underwater valve that was outside the boat. Once completed...he would then pressurize the Sanitary tank by putting 20 lbs of compressed air pressure into it.... thus flushing all sewage out of the tank and overboard into the ocean. Now y'all can see why all the other valves had t'be shut first....so's nuthin could blow back up the lines. I know this has been kinda boring to y'all....but stay with me.......

Now Sir...I had done this procedure many ....many times...and had never had a problem...but on this particular evening...sumthin went wrong. One could tell when the Sanitary Tank was emptying out by watchin a "Yarway" guage on the bulkhead (wall)...and when the tank was empty...you would secure the blow by turning off the air pressure....close a couple a valves at this station...and Re-open all the drain valves throughout the boat.

Well Sir, on this one disasterous and infamous evenin...I put 20 pounds a pressure in there as yur supposed to...and nuthin happened! The guage didn't budge. Tapped the guage...nuthin. Re-adjusted all the valves at that station...nuthin. OK...now what? Well...what the hell...let me give it 25 pounds of pressure....still nuthin. Godamnit...what the f*#k is goin on here? Checked all the immediate valves to make sure that they were in the correct positions....gave the system another 25 pound shot....nuthin. OK you SOB...here's 30 pounds a pressure......take that.....nuthin. The guage wasn't droppin one iota......

Totally flummoxed....I re-re-checked evrythin agin...gave it pressure....still nuthin. OK...damn you...y'all wanna play rough...here's 40 f*#kin pounds a pressure (twice the amount yur sposed t'use). Ah Ha...the guage jumped and then started goin down...the tank was finally emptying. At about that same moment in time...a crewmember nicknamed "Wingnut" cause a his big ears...came running through the After Battery yelling "SECURE THE BLOW....SECURE THE BLOW"!

I immediately shut the pressure valve off, looked at "Wingnut"....and asked.."what's wrong?" He looked at me...and with a broad-ass grin goin frum one a his huge ears to the other said... "Man...I'm real glad I ain't you". What are y'all talkin bout I asked agin. Now.....laughin uncontrolably and holdin his sides....Wingnut barely got it out that I needed get into the Crew's Mess right away..."the COB wants to see you"......

Now fer those a you unfamiliar...the COB is the "Chief of the Boat"...the most senior and experienced enlisted man on a submarine...he's next to God...his power is legendary....even the Captain listens to him when he speaks. Now...the COB on our boat was a grizzly old character named Joe Negri...and it was said that he'd been in the Navy so long that he had been First Mate on Noah's Ark... and he ate torpedo explosives fer breakfast and washed it all down with diesel oil....this guy was in the Navy when the ships were made of wood...and the men were made of steel...y'all gettin a mental picture yet....?

Now Sir....when I entered the Crew's Mess....I was greeted with a scene very reminiscent of....

...the only difference was that the bear...otherwise known as the COB....Joe Negri...the most Senior Chief Petty Officer in the United States Navy....was standin there with a coffee cup danglin from his hand and he was completely covered in SHIT!...frum his head to his toes...shit was drippin of his weathered old chief's hat, his nose, his chin, his ears, his eyebrows, his belt buckle..everywhere. The crews mess and galley was covered in shit...the deck was covered in shit....and when I seen what I had done....and the look on the COB's face....I almost added somemore shit to the scene myself via the back a my pants.

Well Sir...once old Joe got done tearin this here bubblehead a brand new asshole and callin me names I ain't never heard of before...or since...he stormed outta the Mess Hall bellowin t'me over his shoulder that he damned sure wasn't through with me yet....

There was dead silence fer a few seconds after he stormed through the hatch inta the Control Room...then...all the crew members who had been in the Mess Hall when the proverbial shit hit the fan...or rather the COB...broke into hysterical laughter.

Some crew members told me that the scene of the shit explosion occurred somthin like this....

Several guys were sitting in the galley quietly havin a cup a coffee when they heard a very loud noise that sounded like "Sproing!" (that was the sound of the drain line valve from the coffee urn to the Sanitary Tank breaking under double it's intended pressure). At about the same time...the COB happened to come around the corner to get a cup of coffee...he put his coffee cup under the serving spicket on the urn and pulled it....KABLOOM....shit that was bein pushed by 40 pounds of pressure...hit the bottom of his coffee cup and exploded up and out like Mt. Vesuvius and instantly covered him from head to toe....then shit continued to blast into the galley through the still open spicket and the broken glass tubes on the front of the urn. They said that the COB had the most horrified, puzzled, surprised, disgusting, confused and angry expression on his face...all at the same time...that they couldn't even mimic what his face looked like. The rest is history.......

Now...it don't take genius to figure out just who had to clean up all the shit. The coffee urn...a total loss...oh it was fixed and cleaned...but ain't nobody would ever drink outta it after that...includin me....the boat had t'get a new one.

Now Sir....I originally stuck t'my story that I had only used the required 20 pounds a pressure...nuthin more. Musta been a faulty valve said I. This always left a doubt in some minds as to just how much I was to blame fer the whole thing....

Well Sir...now...for the first time in 42 years...I'm finally fessin up. Joe...if'n yur out there somewhere readin this....I apologise to y'all fer all the shit I gave ya (sorry...couldn't resist).....and I deserved every "shit" detail and wurk assignment y'all gave me fer the next three months...as well as how ya restricted me to the boat with no leave or liberty....as well as all the chippin & paintin assignments ya gave me...as well as all the extra watches I had to stand....and the extra "Mess Cookin"(KP) duties....and the "bilge watches"...and all the ass chewin's that followed...no sir...I deserved it all Joe...and may God Bless ya where-ever you may be......you were a man's man.

ADDENDUM:

After I posted this...a good friend and feller blogger..Sig... over at Signal94...put his very vivid imagination and seemingly endless talents at writing/poetry and song composition to wurk and came up with a musical rendition of "Cookie's Big Adventure"...done to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies. If'n y'all wanna read somthin funny....get on over there and check out his blog...and BTW...this man has some Op-Eds, views and articles that are extremely well written and well thought out...so keep checkin his site out every chance ya get...y'all won't be disappointed....Cookie...

Have an International "Walk Yur Dog" Summer BBQ Shindig.....

Well Sir...back in the 50's sometime...I attended a party once that I'd done furgotten bout till a couple a years ago....the folks called it a "Walk the Dog" party...and recallin it...it was a pretty good get-t'gether. So...a year or so ago I threw one a these parties and my guests just loved it...... here tis...with a couple a modern day updates that I've added.......

The hardest part bout the cookin fer this here party is the "prep wurk" fer the Condiments...after that.... its duck soup! This food presentation is all about the "Dogs"...and Bratwurst...and Kielbasa....ain't almost nuthin to cook ceptin them....so break out yur BBQ's and lets get goin....

The idea here is very simple...yur gonna be offerin yur guests just about every kind a Condiment they can possibly think of fer their Hot Dogs or Brat's and such....so lets get started.....

Naturally...yur basic standard condiments are gonna be offered...Ketchup, Ball Park Mustard, Relish, chopped Onions and the like...but yur gonna add some more variety regardin the Mustards by also offerin Sweet & Zesty mustards, Dijon's, Hot & Spicy's...you get the idea. I used the squeeze-bottle mustards...easier fer me t'clean up later...and easier fer the guests.

Next...saute' up a HUGE batch of onions in butter till they're golden brown and soft. Once ya got em all saute'd...add them and all the butter to an aluminum foil disposable container (Baking Pan)...along with some beer...set this aside cause yur gonna be keeping the all the BBQ'd Bratwurst warm and moist in it later.....as well as serving the saute'd onions out of it.

Continuin on with the vegetables...yur gonna serve chopped tomatoes, chopped ripe olives, shredded lettuce, chopped hot peppers (yur choice...I use Jalepeno), thinly sliced pickle spears, chopped sweet Bread & Butter pickles, and grilled red & green peppers. Another good suggestion is to put out some good ol Guacamole....mosts guests like it and can have it as they please....and...of course...y'all can't furget some good SALSA...ya gotta have Salsa ya do....

Cheese's...put out a variety of shredded cheese's such as Mozzarella, America, Cheddar, Provolone, and the "Mexican 4 blend" cheeses, and Nacho cheese. These cheese varieties will allow yur guests to give their dogs a South of the Border flare...or an Italian theme, and go very well with the sauces yur about to put out.....

Chili and Marinara sauce.....make up a quick Marinara sauce (for the Italian lovers) by heatin up some marinara sauce from a jar...No Muss-No Fuss. Make a real simple Chili sauce just usin some "Temple" (or yur favorite) chili seasonings, cooked ground beef and canned Stewed or Italian style tomato's....easy enuff. If'n y'all are gonna make a real chili usin beans...I found that it's real advisable to ALWAYS stand up-wind frum yur guests while yur talkin to em.....

Now...as the guests are startin to arrive...put the Bratwurst on a LOW heat BBQ...and cook slowly...that's the secret to cookin good Brats. My wife recently discovered a brand of Bratwurst that I firmly believe is the best Bratwurst I've ever had in my life...and I'm German...they are...HULLERS, Black Forrest cooked Bratwurst...and she gets them...frum of all places...Wal-Mart....so y'all just might be able t'find em no matter what section of the country yur frum. Yur really gonna love these beauties....anyways...once they are browned and cooked to yur likin...put the Brats into the Beer, Saute'd Onions and Butter y'all made up earlier. Put that container on Barbie to keep warm...it will give the Brats an even better taste and keep them nice and moist. ....Turn up the tunes and start party'n.......

Now...if'n y'all got some guests that have requested Polish Sausage (Kielbasa) ...start cookin them slow as well when ya start cookin the Brats....

Now...take ALL the condiments ya got and line em up on a long table...frum one end to the other. Try to keep the sauces warm in "slow-cookers" or heated chafing dishes if'n yur fortunate enuff t'have one or two (or leave the sauces on a low heat on the stove and tell the guests where to go).

OK...now yur cookin...start the dogs and Coneys (if'n yur frum New York), and start servin....Yur guests can now mix any combination of condiments they want to make their dogs any style they want...Italian, Mexican, German, American or plain....any combination they enjoy...simply by WALKIN THE DOG down the table.......Enjoy....Cookie...

Open Memo to new bloggers... a lesson hard learned...

Well Sir...this here Cookie has only been bloggin fer about three months or so at this writin...but o'er the past week...I experienced a little somthin bout the Blogosphere...and I'd like t'pass along one a life's little lessons on to anyone just startin out.......

When y'all first get inta bloggin...you'll shortly meet various folks that, fer the most part...think like yurself...either Left-Wing Liberal Loon's and Moonbats...or Right Wing Conservative Bush supporters ( the catagory I fit into). You'll get t'know these Blog-buddies by their comments and E-mails...and you'll have fun chidin and kiddin each other bout somethin or anuther. More likely than not...yur posts and comments will lean which ever direction y'all tend to believe in the strongest...and this is where you've got to learn to excercize some caution.....that is...if'n y'all care bout what others think about you and yur posts, opinions and feelins.

Now...journalism 101...there be a few ways y'all can write a post/article about an event...1) Don't write nuthin at all.....2) be like the Daily Kos and lie about and distort everthin....3) Write a "NEWS" story...strictly reportin the facts....4) write a factual NEWS story and include yur opinion(s) about it.... 5) write a post that contains the accurate Facts, yur Opinions and yur Feelin's.....and it's these last two where you must excersize some cautionary discretion and restraint. Now.... if'n y'all wanna retain the acquiantences you've hense fer made in the Blogosphere.....and yur a free thinkin man or woman and don't blindly follow a political leader without questioning his rationale, motives or thought process...then read on.

Now Sir...last week I strongly reacted to President Bush's immigration speach in two of my posts...giving the facts, my opinion...and the ulitimate Faux Pas....my feelings. I had dared to question the President of the United States...and further more...told him exactly how I felt about him, his policy and thought process. Uh Oh...stepped in the blog shit right there I did. The next thing y'all know is that I first noticed a very sharp and abrupt decrease in the number of recorded "site-visits" and comments...in fact they literally stopped almost all-together. So's...I went over t'their sites like I usuall duz...read their posts...left good, encouraging or agreeing comments...sent an E-mail or two....and guess what...no response...gee...what's goin on?

Hmmm...was it sumthin I said? Absofrickinlutely it was! There are...as you newbie's will discover..people out there....Left or Right....that will not tolerate any criticism or disparaging remarks, what-so-ever, regardin someone they consider their leader...that they will forever blindly follow and support without ever holding them accountable or expressing a dissenting voice. On the Left...it might be Clooney, Dean or Moore...on the Right, Bush, O'Reilly or any other well known Republican or Right leaning person.

Give y'all an example.....there is a blog out there I been readin...won't mention it by name as I ain't asked fer, nor got his permission...but I just met the man recently...bout a month ago...we got inta a little literary tiff/disagreement early on, but settled it quickly...found we had somethin in common with each other....and now we communicate regularly through our blogs and E-mails. Now this man is...without a doubt...is a true "wurd-smith"...got a real mastery of the English language and knows just how and when to use certain wurds with exact accuracy and precision. Swings his literary skills and vocabulary like a sword he duz. As I continued to read and enjoy his blog on a daily basis...I noticed that although his stories/posts/op-eds were extremely well written and thought out (some of them excellent)....there were virtually no comments at all to any of his posts. Why? His blog has been around fer some time.....he should be having all kinds of site activity and correspondence...but very little was evident.

Ah Ha...the answer was starin me right in the face...he was like me...he call's it as he see's it! No blind allegiance...no excusatory bullshit....just facts and his well based opinion...and how he feels about the issue he's postin bout....there it was. He was pissin people off on both sides of the spectrum...and doesn't give a good flyin shit...a real writer's writer....I love it! BTW people...a very wize man and mentor once gave me an excellent suggestion...here tis..... "It ain't none a MY business what OTHER folks think a me."...think about that one fer a spell...it's a good one. Must be somebody gave this other blog writer the same advice somewhere along the line.....and he heeded it....good fer him.

So...newbie's...here's yur choices...if'n yur a free thinkin, fair and honest person, and ain't afeared to tell it like it is...no matter who it might piss off...have a great time. Yur gonna make some potential friends...and lose others...and remember..."It ain't none a yur business what other folks thinks about ya."....and be prepared to see a scene reminiscent of the above picture when y'all do speak yur mind openly and honestly.....and when you really think about it...ain't real life just like the above picture anyhow....

If'n y'all just wanna tell the News.... with a neutral comment here and there...that's OK too my friend.....enjoy yurselves and enjoy yur blog experience(s).....but... sooner or later yur gonna have to make up yur mind as to just where y'all stand and what ya stand fer.......But...I guess that's just my way a thinkin....Cookie....

...Y'all deserve whatever yur gonna get.......

Well Sir...to my surprise...the inept, ill-equiped incumbent Mayor of New Orleans, Ray Nagin, was amazingly re-elected to his mayoral post......UN-BLANKIN BELIEVABLE!

From every account I have read.....his inability to appropriately, and in a timely manner, deal with ALL aspects of Katrina were...at least in part...responsible for the sufferings that many of you folks had to endure. All investigations and accounts state the same thing...but...he managed to get himself re-elected...just incredible.

Well Sir.....for all of you good folks in New Orleans who voted for Mr. Ray Nagin just because he's an African American...and y'all did so cause yur African-American yurself....then y'all sure did yurselves a grave dis-service. Instead a lookin at the color of his skin....all as ya had t'do was look at what y'all suffered and how ineptly and inefficiently he handled his duties both before and after Katrina...but...now yur stuck with him agin...so...Y'all just deserve whatever yur gonna get in the future under his very questionable "leadership"......may God protect and lookover y'all for yur folley....and enjoy yur Chocolate Bar........But...I guess thats just my way a thinkin.....Cookie....

...Somemore Brokeback and Queer Cowboy humor...

Just cain't resist puttin this here post up...I borrowed this frum anuther "Bubbleheadblogoshere Buddy"....Myron over at "Myron's Mind Meanderings"...and then a course I did a touch of editin to apply to one a Patricks recent post's over at "Born Again Redneck"....here tis....

The Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The Same After That Damn Gay Cowboy Movie (and Patrick's post about “Queer Cowboys”).

1. "I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!"

2. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"

3. "Don't fret---I've been in tight spots before."

4. "Howdy, partner."

5. "You stay here while I sneak around from behind."

6. Two words: "Saddle Sore."

7. "Hold it right there! Now, move your hand, reeeal slow-like."

8. "Let's mount up!"

9. "Nice spread ya got there!"

10. "Ride'em cowboy!"

OK...there y'all go...just some Sunday humor t'light'n evryone up a might...Cookie...