Friday, April 04, 2008

Saturday and Sunday Sundries....and a little musical trivia fer Y'all....

First off...THANKS to everyone who left nice comments or sent Get Well Cards.... they were very much appreciated....

Cookshack HAT-TIP's to "Fish" frum Kentucky, "Charlie the Cop" frum Chi-Town, and Clint Griffin frum out San Diego way fer the following submissions....Thanks Amigo's...
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Engineering Questions of the Day

1.) How much does a house weigh???

A.) Just a tad more than a rural two-lane bridge can hold, apparently.





...and ...Question #2

Did anybody bring a Jack...???
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Ahhh Yes....the joys of Kayaking in Alaskan waters......



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In response to a number of complaints that there are not enough Black and Hispanic people appearing on TV, the Network has decided that in future "America's Most Wanted" will be shown 'TWICE' weekly.
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Speakin of TV...this is what Daytime TV has degenerated to.....



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Well Sir...I just might start flyin commercial Airlines agin.....


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Whoa! Mama Mia....Now that's some powerful medicine.....


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...and ...we'll end the day with some musical memories....





...and here be some Trivia fer y'all...in the next Video...what young actor, now a famous TV/Movie Star, got his start in Rawhide and what was his character's name....

BONUS: Who sang this theme song?



Next....what was the name of the ORIGINAL back up group for Elvis Presley???



Next....Re: the video below.....What movie and who sang it???



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Thursday, April 03, 2008

Sorry.....

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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Thursday ....

Now Sir....I'm gonna take a lead in from Misha of The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler and use the caption...

"Where Da White Wimmen at?"



UPDATE: Name Correction. I was erroneously calling "Snoop" Larry...My Bad. His screen name is "Snoop"!

Now Sir...Y'all gotta get on over to Political Party Poop.com and read this guy!! His name is "Snoop" and he's a very intelligent, witty and funny gentleman who has some common sense and humorous views of the world and various world events.

Now amigo's & amiga's, Y'all probably guessed from the lead-in title and the photygraff that this fine gentleman is black...and that he is, however, this is one black person that hasn't fallen into the ever growing pitfall of playing the perpetual "victim" of the white man, society, the government or whatever. He speaks his mind and realizes that by constantly assuming the role of the "victimized" person of race who is "entitled" to all sorts of freebee's and benefits, that it all hurts his race and his people in the long run, and that folks of color must begin to stop blaming others for their problems and take some responsibility for themselves and their various situations. There are only two other black people I know that take this honest and realistic view, one is my Son-In-Law James, and the other is Bill Cosby, and they are both successful.

Now...just to qualify my statements so that there is absolutely no misunderstanding by any overly sensitive, Volvo drivin, pony-tailed, tree-huggin, America hatin, lifetime subscriber to the Daily Kos, Berkelyite, white-assed Democrat liberals out there who are just a lookin for some faux pas or cause to jump on so that they may add meaning and a sense of worth to their miserable empty lives, I fully realize that for many many years, black people all over this here world (and especially in these United States) have been treated very poorly in just about all aspects.

...and that back then...things were unfortunately and truly pretty much like this.....




Folks like "Snoop" are aware that it's time to stop blaming others for all the past wrongs (Sadly...of which there were many) and woe's of certain cultures, races and societies and to stand up, take responsibility in certain areas of yur life, and move forward. He takes humorous, pundit like pot-shots at everyone, politicians, celebrities, protesters...you name it, and reading his various post's is most refreshing and always good fer a laff or two....

Sooo....clicky de linky I got posted above and check him out...y'all won't regret it!
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According to all souces I could locate...This photo is fer real.....



"Asking a retired United States Army Sergeant to translate your Anti-American slogans for you...Priceless!"

Gleefully stolen frum Bothe over at "A Geezer's Corner"....
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Well Sir...we'll continue on with some more stolen material from GUYK over at "Charming, Just Charming". He's always got sumthin worth slinkin off inta the night with....

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she
took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was
hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could
hear fine.

The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from
recurring she should go to the store and get some
'Nair"hair remover and rub in its ears once a month.

The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair
remover.

At the register the druggist tells her "If you're going
to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days."

The lady says "I'm not using it under my arms."

The druggist says "If you're using it on your legs don't
shave for a couple of days."

The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either, and if
you must know I'm using it on my schnauzer."

The druggist says "Stay off your bicycle for a week."
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Now Sir....since my main theme today is of that infamous and great classic movie, Blazing Saddles, am I the only one who notices the resemblance between the State Governor in Blazing Saddles played by Mel Brooks...and our new Governor of New York State, David Paterson???



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....and...since we're on the topic of "Blazing Saddles"...who can ferget this here great scene? I think just about any man out there who has ever been on a fishin or huntin trip with his good buddies fer a few days can ralate to this....



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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Wednesday wanks....

Amigo's and amiga's....if'n ya like animals...y'all gonna love this video sent in by Susan Gertson...Thanks Sue....


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Now Sir....I don't care whatcha think about this here 2008 election...it sure has produced some interestin and unique posters....








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Well Sir...we'll carry on with a little something that Patrick frum over at "prh...A Day in the Life" sent along....

MISSING HUSBAND

Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than six seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window, and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box into the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.
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Good Ad......



Thank ya Missy Susan frum Eagle Lake.....
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Well Sir...earlier t'day, my good buddy Patrick reminded me of a lesson I learned shortly after gettin married... about 40 some year ago or so...

Now Sir....fer all you young newlywed men-folk out there...t'is a lesson y'all best be learnin right real quick amigo's....



**Sigh**...ain't it the truth though....
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...and finally, "Charlie the Cop" reminds us of the differant Geography of men and women....

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America , well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging; but still warm and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost some wars, won some great battles but haunted by past mistakes, still very strong and proud.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet .. Off the beaten path, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...still desirable but only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge and true love dare visit there.

GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between birth and death, a man is like Iran - ruled by a dick!
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Breaking News: An important Judicial Decision just in...and... McCain picks his VP runnin mate...

Have you heard about this case? Great answer from the judge!

In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter
and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the
discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations
afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists
had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long
passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his g avel and
declared, 'Case dismissed!'

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your
honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have
Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom
Kippur and Hanukkah...yet my client and all other atheists have no such
holiday!'

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your
client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own
atheists' holiday!'

The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honor, we are unaware of any such
holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'

The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same
date---April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools
Day,' consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart,
there is no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no
God, then by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday! No w
have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!

Way to go, Judge!
AMEN

Hat Tip: to "Charlie the Cop" for this Judicial update.....
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Well Sir...y'all are now lookin at John McCains runnin mate fer the Vice Presidency of the United States. Today, about 20 minutes ago, John McCain announced his pick for VP and that is Donald Rumsfeld. See the rest of the story below....






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APRIL FOOLS......

Monday, March 31, 2008

Tuesday Tidbits...and...McCain duz Streisand....

UPDATE #1: If'n ya follow my blog or other folks, then ya know that the original "Fitna" link was hacked and hijacked by cyber-terrorists...so here be another link to the move.....

OK Mates...for the 3rd time...here's a link over to "The Dread Pundit Bluto" who has yet another copy posted...

The Dread Pundit Bluto....

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UPDATE #2: "Charlie the Cop" sent me this here song last Friday....and I loved it so much...I gotta bump it to the top of this blog-post.....Muchais Gracias Amigo...

ROTFLMAO....Got this frum "Texas Patriot"... T'aint no-where even near Politically Correct, but its funnier than hell....TURN YUR SOUND ON AN BE PREPARED TO LAUGH!!!

If'n Y'all don't like Politically Incorrect stuff....Don't Listen! But it's not really all that bad...

"Manuel went down to Georgia" ...done to Charlie Daniels "The Devil went down to Georgia"....

ManuelWentDownToGeorgia - Share on Ovi ...Just click on this icon once....
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Well Sir...we'll begin with a prediction from that all knowing, all seeing and great Texas seer, Susan Gertson regarding the coming job markets for 2009.....



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....and "Charlie the Cop" sends us this....

THE WRONG LESSONS IN GOLF;

A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while another
foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tees. The ladies
are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball,
she hacks it ten feet. She goes over and whiffs it completely.

Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another
five feet. She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says
apologetically, 'I guess all those f--king lessons I took over the
winter didn't help.

One of the men immediately responds, 'Well, there you have it,
you should have taken golf lessons instead!'

He never even had a chance to duck.
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....and...frum CSSSCC in Tampa we have.....

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't.

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For Sale :

Wedding dress, size 8.

Worn once by mistake.

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The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.

"Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied.? "I've been divorced three times."

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I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"

Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?

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Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table.

"Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said . "We may not have 45 minutes."

They were seated immediately.

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The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

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All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father

escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

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Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."


Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a

wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."


Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

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Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.

Looking up, he asks the Lord... "God, what does a million years mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A minute."

Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A penny."

Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"

The Lord replies, "In a minute."

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A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?"

"Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"

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John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.

"Give me one last request, dear," he said.

"Of course, John," his wife said softly.

"Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."

"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.

With his last breath John said, "I do!"
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BTW...my good amigo "Charlie The Cop" sent me a belated Easter card with two of the cutest bunnies on it that Y'all ever wanna see.....

.......as cute as they are though....I don't think they're real...



Charlie...yur such a thoughtful and caring person...Thanks mate...
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...and we'll end with this GREAT video frum "Charlie The Cop"....Excellent!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Monday.....

My Sentiments Exactly.....



Well Sir...."Charlie the Cop" frum Chicago was busy this here weekend sendin Cookie some good articles and jokes...includin the above Casa D'Ice sign...here's the rest....

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.
As the bartender gives her the drink she says,

'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today..'

The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact,
this one is on me'

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says,
'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'

The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a
Scotch with two drops of water.'

'Coming up,' says the bartender.

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says,
'I would like to buy you one, too.'

The old woman says,
'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'

'Coming right up,' the bartender says.

As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'

The old woman replies,

'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor.
Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'

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'OLD' IS WHEN ... Your sweetie says, ' Let's go upstairs and make love,' and
you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD ' IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens
the garage door.

'OLD' IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long
as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of
by the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN ...'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take
any fiber today

'OLD' IS WHEN ... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN ... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokes

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... and Sir ...here's a good example of the Leadership qualities of Eliot Spitzer...


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Climate change and it's effects recorded by a Canadian friend.

Well Sir....I'm now a believer....AT LAST - POSITIVE PROOF.

French Soccer Team 1959



...and here be the French Soccer Team 2008














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Well Sir..."Charlie the Cop" sent me this one yesterday...and if'n you are, or ever have been a parent...it's outstanding......

Learning From Kids

For those with no children - this is totally hysterical...

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control...

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

Things Ive learned from my Boys (honest)...

1. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boys voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" its already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still cant walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
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