Friday, July 31, 2009

Make up yur own mind on this one! Plus...I Hate Mondays, TGIF!!

Well Sir, I opened up my E-mails this AM and found that several folks had sent me this video. Must be somethin that's goin around the Internet today.

Anyhow, I must say that I did find it's content very interesting, although, since I don't speak, read or write ancient Aramaic, I'm NOT about to readily agree to it as truth or fact, or make any claims! It's just a very interesting piece of information. I'm sure I'll get some interestin comments regardin this post. Like they say on Fox News, "We report, You decide."


Why I Hate Mondays...

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Hmmm...Well, it's the same for cops all over the world.

Although I was only in uniform for a very short period of my Law Enforcement career, I've seen drunken idiocy like this. Drunks can be mean, or you can get a great laugh outta them. I believe from the language that this took place in Poland or some other Slavic country.

How to INSTANTLY fail a breathalyzer test...


...and y'all can sure tell that these here parents studied real hard when they was in school!

These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district..

Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from pe.. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part...

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday She had the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday.. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust..

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday.. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines...

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well..

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.

Gotta Thank "Chicago Charlie" fer that one.

...and fer the Political Joke of the Day...

A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the U..S. Customs Agent at the border.

"May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent.

"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.

"Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent.

"But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on the other."

"This I gotta see," replied the agent.

With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind.

"By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have a safe trip back to Chicago."

"Thanks!" he said. "But how did you know I was from Chicago?"

The agent replied, "I recognized Obama in the middle."

Thank Ya Missy Susan frum the Lone Star State of Texas!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

One Bud Light and a copy of "Tongue & Cheeks"...

Poor bastard! Shoulda just bought the beer and left.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"The Sheriff of Boone County"

Now Sir, here's a song thats been around fer along time(40 years I reckon) and I'm real surprized that I found it on YouYube. This used to be the main song on the old Juke Box at the "Cop Bar" we all hung out at..."Leon's Southside Pub" (BTW...It was the safest place in town).

One a my "Good Old Boy" friends was the Police Chief of Logan, West (By God) Virgina,(a real tough-ass area of W.VA.) and everytime I hear this song, it reminds me of him...TO A TEE!

BTW...don'tcha all go readin nuthin racial inta this here song. If'n ya do, it's comin outta yur head....not mine! This was standard verbiage back when this was written & recorded....long before Political Correctness!!

Damn...and I thought my "57" was fast!...and a Texas style Square Dance.

Well Sir, back in the day, I had a 57 Chevy convertable (mean mutha, wish to hell I still had it), and although I thought it was boss, this blows everything away!!

Gotta give a big Cookshack THANKS to my old bud frum High School, John Keating fer sendin me this one!

...and this one is always good fer a good laugh or two..."The Mississippi Squirrel".

I don'ts imagine that there be anyone out there that ain't seen this one a time or two, but in case ya ain't...Her t'is.

Now Sir...I guess unless Y'all grew up in the country like The Cookie, Y'all won't appreciate this very much, but Y'all gotta admit, it's real good driven!!

Gotta THANK Sue Gertson frum Eagle Lake, Texas fer passin that one along.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

It's music time at The Cookshack! Absolutely GREAT Boogie-Woogie...

If'n Y'all got a minute or two t'spare, sit back and enjoy some real great "piani" by Tommy Johnson. This first one, THE BOOGIE WOOGIE, was sent t'me by my old buddy "Fish" frum down Kentucky way. I enjoyed it so much I decided to post some of Tommy's others along with it. THANKS "FISH"!!!

Great Boogie by Tommy Johnson

...and nowww...fer a ride on "THE NIGHT TRAIN"


might just get y'all "IN THE MOOD"

Hmmm...Ted Nugent speaks, wurks fer me, plus TPA (Terrorist Proof Airlines)

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AND, If a Muslim sees a naked woman he is obligated to commit suicide...LOVE IT!

Gotta Thanks "Nikki" frum upstate New York fer the heads up on that one!

Ted Nugent speaks fer me!

Gotta thank "Chicago Charlie" fer passin this one along....THANKS AMIGO!!